The Invention of Lying

Imagine a world where no one can lie. Not even a little white lie or fib to spare someone's feelings. I knew with Ricky Gervais as the writer it had to be good. Ricky is hard to take. It's his Britishness. They think a lot differently and when it comes to their comedy, well, it's a brand not sold in the U.S. I love British humor, so dry and crass. People who don't like Monty Python just don't get it. If its dubbed "British" and "Comedy" I will watch it. The first scene sets the stage for the rest of the film. Gervais shows up to pick up his blind date (Garner) a bit early. She opens the door and proclaims she was masturbating and if he had shown up at the correct time she could've finished thus not ruining their entire night. The whole film during all the blunt honesty that people just don't say, makes you think, I can't imagine that. Are they embarrassed by what they say? Do they regret hurting feelings on a daily basis? We don't know. All we know is Lying is impossible, until one day when Gervais strikes gold. He LIES to the bank teller who tells him he has $20 in his account, but he claims that he actually is suppose to have $800. She believes him and gives him what he asks for. He then proceeds to lie about stupid inane things, because he doesn't know what else he should do. He also feels guilt when he lies and is feeling that people will know when he proclaims "I am a Black man" that it just isn't so. He works a dead end job as a movie script writer in a world where every film is historically accurate and not acted out (that would essentially be lying), but the scripts are instead read aloud by a man with a good voice in a wing back chair. Rob Lowe is the leading "writer" and Gervais gets canned, that is until he brings a story he "found" on a beach that is unlike anything anyone has ever heard. Suddenly he is top dog in a business based on his lying ability. He has fame and fortune, but all he wants is for Garner to marry him even though his DNA would not make for attractive children. He is short, pudgy, and has a pig nose, and those are not qualities she is interested in. Even with all the money and fame he can't lie his way into her heart. His constant lying does eventually backfire on him, but not in that "end of the world" way. The uncomfortable honesty along with the brilliant jokes and a heart felt plot really make this a must see. Knew it would be good, turned out to be great. I really love movies that make you think, but not in that brain busting way, just in the "What if?" way. This does exactly that.

NBM rates The Invention of Lying - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

 

Eagle Eye

RT baffles me most of the time, but every once in a great while, they kinda piss me off. I take some things a little personal. It's not the website, they are just there to host. It's the critics who use the site. Eagle gets a 27%. WTF! I saw this in the theater and it rocked me hard core. Then I saw it again the week it came out on DVD. Had to introduce A-Bomb to it. It's not like he wasn't going to see, but if I showed up with a copy of it, who would say no to that? Then I have watched it beginning to end another 8 times on HBO, and have seen the last 20 minutes about 25 more times on HBO. It is such a good thriller. Most times thrillers are good once, (ex: Sixth Sense), but this one gets me every time. The intensity and the believable Jerry Shaw (LaBeouf) gives his story to the FBI agent (Billy Bob) about his innocence. It's all one big set up, so he claims. Then there is supermom Rachel (Monoghan) who is dragged into Jerry's mess when her son is threatened if she doesn't cooperate. Every move they make, and every breath they take, they are being surveilled and constantly getting out of bad situations with the authorities. Situations that detainees are strictly locked down for. It is one thrill after another all leading up to the final bang. Jerry is an epic failure, while his identical twin brother is Captain America. When his brother dies, that's when Jerry's life takes a sudden turn south. If you haven't seen Eagle Eye, I won't ruin it for you, but if you have, I get chill bumps every time that final seen plays out. WWJD = What will Jerry Do? Will he be as selfish as he always is, or will he figure it. The choice he makes is what chills me. You'll see what I'm talking about. Turns out there is more to this than Jerry and Rachel. It's a huge picture that they are being forced to compile one piece at a time.

**Reader. You've been activated. Now go and watch Eagle Eye.

NBM rates Eagle Eye - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

Blindness

Easily one of the most depressing films I have ever seen. It's right up there with "The Road". Not to say it was bad or awful, just unimaginable is the best way to descibe it. It follows a major epidemic that makes 90% of the country go blind. That's not even the bad news. The all powerful government who always "knows best," are so scared that it may be contagious, that they quarantine anyone who is blind. The living quarters are hardly civil, and the movie does a great job of making the audience realize how bad these people have it. Their new disease is no deadlier than people who were born blind. When a Doctor (Ruffalo) contracts the "Blindness" he is immediately loaded up and his wife (Julianne Moore), who is not blind, says she is to be able to go with him. That is where the story picks up. These two characters are the main ones, and Though Moore can see, she doesn't let on to the other victims. When they arrive at their new home, an abandoned hospital, groups of people are segregated into groups of 25 or so in different quadrents of the hospital. Armed guards protect the place from towers outside, and food is delivered to the middle of the yard where the "prisoners" must retrieve and divide it among all the housemates. Even though they have done nothing wrong, except be unlucky, they are in fact prisoners in what soons becomes the worst prison on planet Earth. You see, there is no one inside to help the sightless, except The Doctor's Wife. What happens when things get bad enough and people get pushed to far? Riots, mayhem, rape, even Murder. It turns into one of the scariest places ever. I do not know who it is scarier for? The blind? Or the person who sees what is around her. I think Moore has it worse than the rest. She tends for her quadrent, takes people to the bathroom, cleans them up, and distributes food. The other inmates don't think anything of it. They just figure she has been there the longest. Any one caught to close to the wall or the facility exit are verbally warned to turn around, then if they don't , they are shot. Bodies begin to pile, smell increases, then the inmates become grave diggers. One day when food is running low and they have not received word from the outside, Moore investigates, only to find no more guards are present. The way the blindness is portrayed as a first person camera angle is absolutely perfect and terrifying. The director puts anyone who watches this film into that position, and it is scary. The movie is not that lengthy, but it seems like it will never end. That's what depression does to the human psyche. It makes you feel there is no end in sight, or is there? It really shows the power of mankind to survive. It's hard to imagine living blind after seeing your whole life. It's evolution and adaptation. Humans have adapted for thousands of years, and will continue to.

NBM rates Blindness - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

 

Daybreakers



Welcome back from the week of Turkey binging. Hope all is well. Tonight I wanna talk about Daybreakers. I know most of you are probably thinking I have an unhealthy obsession with Vampires, considering they are the subject of more posts, than any other specific type of film. It's untrue. I do like them, but the one's I dwell on are usually a little different than most. This film surprised the hell out of me with it's originality and smooth transition through the plot. I also love what they do with the Vampire community. What I enjoy are story lines that essentially turn the way we have been taught about certain things on it's ear. That's what this movie does. In this movie Vampires are not only socially accepted, but they actually have taken over, and it's the humans that are cast out. Not only cast out, but they are captured and harvested as food for the Vampers. Bad turns to worse when the lead Hemotologist Edward (Ethan Hawke), is having trouble manufacturing a sustainable food source for the dying Vamp population, since the human population is quickly depleting. The one thing that sets him apart from the rest is his desire to not only find a new source, but also to find a cure for them. This latter fact upsets the leaders as they have no want to go back to being human. Hawke does such a good job with his character, and he is constantly trying to reason with the higher ups. To no avail, he ends up helping some humans escape the Vamp patrol. This is where he learns very interesting things that changes everything. Great story. New Vamp "rules", and a brilliant twist of fate. I thoroughly enjoyed Daybreakers and would definitely watch it again.

NBM rates Daybreakers - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

 

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

  Guest Post authored by our very own intern Dean-O

When you think about the holiday classics, your mind might jump to movies like “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “Miracle on 34th Street” or “White Christmas”. While these are all great movies, I think a holiday classic should also reflect on real life. Often times, our holidays are a jumbled mess of family tension, stress from preparing for the events and the added element of concern over the trials and tribulations of our everyday lives. This is why I love Nationals Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It is the quintessential “comedy of errors” yet it encapsulates our real life challenges better than any holiday movie I’ve come across . The hero of this tale is Clark Griswold, and like every hero, Clark has a fatal flaw. He sets expectations so high for family events that they are impossible to live up to. Still, Clark pours everything he has into the achievement of his vision of the perfect family holiday…and we all get to sit back and relish in the comedy that ensues. One of the most appealing aspects of this film are the layers of comedy that are on display: over-the-top physical comedy, sight gags, witty dialogue, some understated delivery, polarizing characters and the interaction between them. Don’t even get me started on the interplay between Clark and Cousin Eddie – there’s enough material there to warrant it’s own review! Above all else, it’s also a holiday film that has stood the test of time. It first hit theaters over 20 years ago, yet Clark still manages to set the bar for holiday excess today – from 14 foot trees in a house with 8 foot ceilings to enough outdoor illumination to kick in the auxiliary power at the nuclear plant. It’s as relevant today as it was back in the late 80’s. Christmas Vacation really is the gift that keeps giving the whole year. Settling in with kith and kin (and some hot chocolate and Baileys) to watch this movie the day after Thanksgiving every year marks the official start to the holiday season. I’d recommend it for you, too. Watch Christmas Vacation this holiday season and you’ll have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny F’ing Kaye!

NBM rates National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today



Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

When googling "Thanksgiving movies" 8 of the 10 results were animated, and then this gem popped up. Most holiday movies are based around Christmas, but John Hughes did the genius thing and made Thanksgiving the ultimate, "gotta get home" movie. It follows two completely different people trying to get home for the holiday. Through thick and thin, they must endure, not only the grueling trip, but the many obstacles they encounter. Neal (Martin) is a successful businessman that has promised his family he absolutely will be home for Thanksgiving Dinner. Del (Candy) is an obnoxious traveling shower ring salesman. Have those jobs ever actually existed? I mean, is it so hard to go to KMart? The title of the film comes from all the ways these two men try to get home, but each one fails them long before they reach their desired destination. Even though Neal wants to travel alone, Del shows that he is good to have around. Basically because he has a hotel room when none are left in the whole city. The ramblings of Del are funny to us, but if you had to be with him 24/7 you would be as annoyed as Neal is. Especially when we find out "Those Aren't PILLOWS!!!!!" Nonetheless, each of them, mostly Neal has resources of advancement in the travels. Neal has credit cards, and a nice watch that helps them out. Del has pointless stories, anecdotes, shower rings, and a Casio. The best scene in the film comes when Neal rents a car, which should be the last hoop he has to jump through to get home. He is heading to the parking space with "his" rented car is, only to arrive to an empty space. What follows may be the best string of expletives ever strung together at one time. Many people curse when it's not needed. Other words or adjectives could be substituted. In Neal's case he says the F word so many times to the car rental clerk, yet every single time he uses the word it is justified. I can not imagine how a person would feel after all that has happened, then having to deal with this. It takes the cake, and Neal is about to lose hope, that is until he bumps back into his former traveler friend Del, who is in the possession of a car. It doesn't end there though. It doesn't seem like it could, but it gets worse. Lets just say, I don't think the rental agreement will cover it. What goes 90 minutes of two people who don't get along wraps up and they're not really friends, but Neal definitely changed his perspective of Del. I think it is mostly pity, but that is the first time Neal has thought about someone other than himself.

P.S. If concerned drivers are screaming at you that You are going the wrong way!, don't dismiss it as, How do they know where we are going?, and with haste look straight in front of you.

If you have not seen this film, You have missed out on 23 years of comedy bliss. It's a great watch during the holiday season, but more specifically, During Thanksgiving. Have a safe Turkey Day. Eat much, Drink loads, a Nap well.

NBM rates Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

Jurassic Park

Jester's wife: Did you know the T-Rex can only see you if you are moving? I wonder if that's true? I learned that on Dora the Explorer. Well? Did you know that?

Jester: I've known that since 1994!

Jester's Wife: That's pretty specific. Why 1994?

Jester: Jurassic Park came out in 1994 and not only changed film altogether, but made my love for Dinosaurs grow exponentially.

Jester's wife: Well, Pin a rose on your nose...Loser!

Jester: Pfffffffft.

Jurassic Park is without a doubt in my top 10 movies of all time, and I don't see it budging any time soon. I've always enjoyed the thought of dinosaurs and Spielburg made it a reality, or maybe is was all John Hammond. This film changed things. Every once in a great many moons a film is made that turns everything we have known upside down. A world was created where man and dino could once again walk together, and hunt/be hunted. What could possibly go wrong with an amusement park featuring actual living breathing prehistoric creatures with all their animal instincts in tact? One good thing happened. That skeezy lawyer was a tasty h'orderve for Ol' Rexy. I feel I don't need to explain much of the plot of this movie, yet at the same time, if you read the dialogue above, maybe I am just a smart guy. I must admit, if a park like this did exist, I would pay whatever it cost to go. Jurassic Park was packed with action, and it's one of the very few films I actually saw 4 times in a theater. It had a strangely long run, that was unparallelled until Titanic. I saw it in a couple different states even. The picture I posted was one of the scariest sequences in the film. It made me never want to own a slow ass Jeep Wrangler ever. Although T-Rex is the man on the island, and he is King of the Dinos, the Velociraptors were the one's who stole the show. Their violent nature to stalk, hunt, kill, and devour was an awesome thing to watch. I had never even heard of that Dino until this film. The ones we grew up with were Triceratops, T-Rex, Brontosaurus, and Stegosaurus. When a velociraptor would charge with that horrible screeching sound it would make my blood boil. And they are smart. They open doors, pop up ceiling tiles. Not even Jules Winfield could escape their blood thirst. If you are being hunted by this "Bird of Prey", They seem to have trouble with walk in freezers and charging towards a reflection in a shiny object. So, place a mirror in the back of a freezer with your reflection on it and lock them in, otherwise, you may as well give up, because they will win every time. Sam Neal, Laura Dern play Dino expert archaeologists loving the park, but knowing it's not a good idea. Jeff Goldblum plays Ian Malcolm, Choatician or Chaos theory expert. He is really there for 2 reasons. Comic relief and to distract Rexy. He does a good job at half of his tasks. Like I said. I love dinos, and I love Jurassic Park. It forever improved the way movies were made, and I appreciate that.

NBM rates Jurassic Park - A Work of Cinematic Art

Buy Your Copy Today

 

Mallrats

Back to back follow up "failures" from acclaimed directors. Kevin Smith was praised for his indie virgin flick Clerks. I actually enjoy this second feature more. Oh You Blastphemist!! Shut up, you. This is a brilliant follow up to a brilliant first film. I do think shooting Clerks in B&W was a huge artistic leap and it worked. It ultimately set up Smith for total failure, no matter what his next film was. Unfortunately that film happened to be the brilliantly funny Mallrats. Mallrats follows two friends the day after their breakups with their girlfriends. Their only hope to get over their newly found singularity is to walk the mall. Wander, meander even, but absolutely not buy anything that's not food or drink. Brody (Jason Lee) actually has a tiny bathroom cup he is constantly getting filled with soda for free. Resourceful. They have insanely funny arguments about love and comics. They are constantly dealing with a huge prick named Shannon, a salesman at Fashionable Male clothing store, played by Ben Affleck, who really does a great job at that part. T.S. (Jeremy London) is solely focused on getting his girl back, it does not go well. They do nothing but piss people off all day. A reference to another film that I did not get all those years ago was LeFleur. He was the security guard that wore that funny hat. I did not see Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid until a couple years back, and then it clicked. LaFleur was the man who hunted those boys and he wore the same style of hat. Talk about a tribute. Willem can't see the magic eye picture of a sailboat, Silent Bob uses "the force", and Jay helps accost the Easter Bunny. Plus, we get to see a lady with three nipples. I feel the writing and acting are very real. As for Kevin Smith, it'll be hard for me not to like anything he does..... Jersey Girl is a stretch, but whatever. Michael Rooker adds a nice punch as well. This was the very first film I bought on the new "DVD" format and it cost me $28.99 plus tax back in 2000. Remember those days? Blu Ray is the next generation of high priced films, but in the next year they will be giving those away at $5 each like DVD's are now.

NBM rates Mallrats - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

Lady in the Water

SO, How do you feel about Shyamalan? He is a writer/ Director that gained so much notoriety and acclaim with his 1st film (Sixth Sense), which helped his 2nd film (Unbreakable) do quite well, but by his third film, people began to tire of this 1 trick pony. The third film was Signs, which by all accounts is awesome, but the audience wanted more. However, my opinion of the man's style is high. I like what he does, and how he does it. Sure, every film of his we see, all we think about is "the twist" to come. I would like to see him write a really good heist film or something with no loose ends or twists. Just a, "it is what it is" film. Any who, I'm gonna skip over The Village and talk about Lady in the Water. I am appalled why people don't like this film. It's brilliant. What I've noticed about Night's movies are how faith based they seem to be. This one may delve into "faith" more so than even Signs, which revolved around a preacher. Paul Giamati is Cleveland Heep. A down and out ultra depressed stuttering former man of medicine. He now runs a hotel and deals with the day to day operations. This hotel is more like a hub of apartments. Only one tenant seems to be a short term guest. The rest of the people live there. One day a girl shows up in his home freezing because she is soaking wet, and she has several wounds about her body, from what appears to be an animal attack. His Asian tenant tells Cleveland a fairy tale of sorts, but Cleveland thinks it's so much more. He believes this young girl who's name is Story, is actually the fairy tale come true. Most fairy tale's are happy, but this one is downright creepy and frightening. She has to get home, but there is only one way to achieve that, and it's not easy. It takes a tremendous amount of "Faith" on every tenants part to make this happen. The story, if someone were to tell you, sounds absolutely ludicrous, but the people are so kind and endearing they want to help. They end up doing some ridiculous things because Cleveland asks them to. There are so many aspects that must align in order to get Story home safely. Story is being hunted by The Scrunt. A creature with one mission, Kill the Narf. That what Story is. I'm sure you can tell by now how much I really enjoy this UNDERRATED film. It should be taken with a grain of salt, and it should be watched several times. It is quite humorous throughout, but very deadly as well. The final scenes where "the showdown" and Reggie's huge right arm always gives me chills. I wonder how many of us would be able to forget everything we were taught about what is and isn't suppose to be, and throw it all out the window to help, what seems like, a crazy person who lives in the swimming pool at an extended stay hotel. I think I could. I'm a bit of a dreamer, always ready to step up and help anyone who has the courage to ask.

NBM rates Lady in the Water - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

 

Swordfish

I'm sorry, but if you don't like Swordfish, and you are male, then I would not be seen hanging out with you. It is a "Guys" movie. I saw in the theater with my girlfriend before she was my wife. She hated it, and to this day, rates it as one of the worst movies she has ever seen. Despite that, I love, I own it, and I watch it on a semi regular basis. When I saw it, I urged my Brother to watch it. When he did, I asked his opinion, wondering if I was crazy, or if my wife was just too much of a girl. His exact statement, "It Was AWESOME!!!!" I know Dude, I know. Swordfish is an espionage type film. It follows a rich bad guy who needs the help of an elite hacker. The hacker is played by Hugh Jackman at the forefront of his illustrious career. The baddie is John Travolta. Swordfish is the code name for a government operation we are not suppose to know about. It involves stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from a slush fund the US government has set up. Travolta wants it and hires out the computer work to Jackman. From the opening scene, where the explosion goes off in slo-mo in a 360 degree camera work, a'la Matrix, I was hooked. It was so loud and awesome, and it has Halle Berry's boobs in a completely pointless scene, but nonetheless. Stanley's (Jackman) whole reason for helping the bad guy quickly focuses on his daughter, who he really wants to gain custody of, and he doesn't want to die. He begins to uncover some uncomfortable truths about his new boss and the bosses girl. He has a super cop on his butt, (Don Cheadle) who wants nothing more than to put Stanley behind bars. The action heats up and keeps the audience guessing right until the end, and I like how it ended. If you are unsure, you should watch it.

NBM rates Swordfish - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

 

She's Out of My League

I've seen this twice and it's so refreshing to reinvent the standard cinema hero. Apparently it's Jay Baruchel week here at NBM. He is the most unlikely leading man in Hollywood, because he doesn't portray Hollywood. He's an "everyman". In this Rom-Com he plays Kirk. A love sick lovable loser who works for TSA with his best friends, which I must say, if you are gonna be miserable at least do it as a group. His ex girlfriend broke up with him two years earlier, but he still pines over her, because he doesn't think he can do any better. His biggest problem is the people he surrounds himself with. His family, his friends, and even himself believe he is not good enough at anything he wants to do or be. He meets our heroine, Molly (Alice Eve), by finding her iphone and returning it to her. She is a hard 10 in terms of physical appearance and Kirk is no higher than a 5, so logically this relationship should not happen. It's Physics. These facts are exactly why Molly enjoys his company. He has no expectations of her, and they actually really get along well. I think with all the naysayers in his life,Kirk knows it will not work, and he kinda gives up. I like the movie because the nice guy wins, which doesn't happen often. The jokes are funny, the story and characters are sweet, and his family sucks, but they definitely get the viewers rooting for Kirk with how bad they treat him. It is rated R for the standard language and perversion, but I wouldn't compare this to the ultra raunchy comedies that have taken over. It's probably still offensive to some, but it just has a different feel to it.

NBM rates She's Out of My League - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

Fanboys

Knew it would be good, but astronomically fantastic...? Fanboys is everything we want when it comes to a film paying reverence to one of the greatest all time series without making us hate the "Tribute" movie, or make us re-think why we love Star Wars to begin with. The jokes and language used in the unnecessary conversations and arguments are absolutely brilliant. It follows a bunch of fanboys, or in Lyman's terms, "nerds", on a mission to see Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace before it hits theaters. When I originally saw the trailer for this years ago, I though it was just a friends to stupid things together because they're friends type of movie. Truth of the matter is it's actually Friends making happen the dying wish of one of their own. Since the movie will not be released before his expected departure date, it becomes their mission. They have to go from Ohio to the Skywalker Ranch in San Francisco, and they do some funny stuff along the way. Like I said, the movie as a whole is really great, the plot is somewhat original, taking into account the players involved, but the dialogue driven script is executed to perfection. The non stop tributes, not only to Star Wars, but other great films are spot on with how me and my movie buddies are. Always arguing which fictitious character is better and why. None of it matters, but we argue still the same.These guys have so many nerdy contacts along the, including crashing a Trek convention, and constantly making fun of the "Trekkies." Once a small indie film, fanboys was discovered by George Lucas himself, and he decided to front a much larger production which added cameos by Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, (or as A-Bomb said, "Hey, it's Apollo Creed!) and Shatner himself, as himself. This "Lucas Money" pissed off a lot of actual fanboys, and it delayed it's theatrical release by several years, BUT I like what the extra money gave us. Actual sound effects from the original trilogy, along with genuine costumes, and the permission to use the actual Skywalker ranch. With strong performances by the main fanboys, along with Seth Rogen, who plays 2 characters, it is so much fun to watch. It does a really great job of paying Homage to the Greatest Trilogy of all time while focusing on the not so great fourth movie, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. It does have a much bigger message about lifelong friendships and how not to take them for granted. I highly recommend this movie if you like Star Wars even a little bit. You will appreciate the love these guys have for the series. There are too many jokes to mention, so you will just have to watch it for yourself.

NBM rates Fanboys - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

 

My Fellow Americans

Definitely, absolutely one of my all time favorite movies about Presidents of the USA. Not only is about former POTUS', but different partied, embittered old men, who hated everything the other one did, does, or will do pertaining to everything. All that is good and well, but wait for what's to come. Dan Aykroyd is currently the Pres., and Garner and Lemmon are involved in a conspiracy they accidentally uncovered. They think the current President is involved in activities unbecoming a person of that office. They are on the run from that day forward and run into some hilarious situations, making fun and poking jabs at each other all along the way. The scene where they each recite the words they made of to the tune "hail to the Chief" is so great and clever. I think James Garner looking so much like Ronald Reagan really played well on the big screen. I don't know if they cast that on purpose, but it worked. As for Lemmon, he just looks "Presidential", so I do think it was cast properly. They end up having to rent a car which turns into another funny scene, which involves them having to present picture ID because the clerks don't recognize them. Their two car choices are a Lexus and a Geo. They go with the Lexus only to exit through the entrance and pop all four tires on the inverted spikes. The next scene with them bitching and arguing while crammed into a Geo Metro is Laugh out Loud. (Notice how I spelled that out, instead of the LOL lazy man's way.) The gay pride parade, followed by a B & E at the White House really round out the film with some good action. When released in 1996, I didn't care about, or know much about politics. It was funny to me then, but now, being a little more informed, it's absolutely hysterical. I do think it is one of the better "clean" comedies of the nineties. It just goes  to show, you don;t have to extremely perverse, or show nudity to have a good time. Also, they had to pay for a guided tour of a house they both once lived in. Classic!!

NBM rates My Fellow Americans - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

A Christmas Carol (2009)

Let me start by saying that this version is not as entertaining as either of the previous versions I grew up on. First, there is Mickey's Christmas Carol which is an all time classic 100% animated film. Then we have Scrooged which is live action dark comedy with Bill Murray. This one is sort in between them in realms of the way it looks. It's a sort of animated realism. It's like Polar Express or Beowolf, only crisper. The Technology has improved. The characters in film some what resemble the actors who voice them, and the motion is very crisp, but the way the story is told bothered me. It is extremely dark, and I would not show it to young children. I do not need to talk to much of the story, as I'm sure you are all well aware of Charles Dickens classic novel by now. I do think this one may be more desciptively accurate than the other versions, but I prefer the light hearted versions. I don't think I'll need to watch it again, but it did make me want to pop in Scrooged immediately after to pick up the mood. The last 20 minutes of the film were the most fun, and it really felt real.

NBM rates A Christmas Carol (2009) - Good

Buy Your Copy Today



Soul Men

It had to be funny, right? I mean, Bernie Mac and Sam Jackson playing bitter old soul singers who haven't spoke in 30 years, only to get together for one last hoo-rah. So, originally a trifecta group known as The Real Deal, the lead singer left the band left the band to do his solo thing. He proved very successful through the decades, always adapting to whatever was hip and new. The Other two never went anywhere. Floyd Henderson (Mac) is actually  successful in business. He opened a car wash focused on cleaning the shiny wheels to which he named his business "Rim Jobs." Hilarious! The other guy, Louis Hinds (Jackson), really just became a loser. He does serious jail time, only to get out and be a car mechanic. He also lost his music royalties in a poker game. When the lead singer of The Real Deal dies, the two remaining members are asked to perform at the Apollo theater for his funeral. Considering these guys don't like each other, it's a bit of a task to get them to agree. Before their Apollo date, they book some small venues to tighten up their act. I must tell you, half way through this film I heard more F bombs and "Mother Effer's" than any other film, ever. That doesn't offend me, and was quite funny to listen to. The plot thickens when we find out Henderson stole Hinds' wife and married her, only to lose her a short while later. I really enjoyed this comedy, and would watch it again. They run into several road bumps along the way, as to all road trip movies, and they don't always get through them gracefully, but through them, they do get.

NBM rates Soul Men - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

 

11:14

Based on a recommendation from my Brother to watch this, I did. He generally has good taste in film and when he says some is "Awesome", sometimes he's right. In this case he was spot on. Many of you probably have not seen this nor even heard of it. It surprises me sometimes the movies that are loaded with A- Listers can just fall through the cracks. It revolves around several stories about different people and what exactly is happening to them at 11:14. Patrick Swayze is a father to Rachel Leigh Cook. They don't really get along, but a fathers love, is well, a fathers love. Hilary Swank clerks nights at a convenience store, where things get a bit hairy. Henry Thomas has the worst night ever, involving alcohol and a car and a pedestrian. All their stories get tied together at that very moment in time, and there are so many angles, and so many surprises, I don't want to spoil anything. It's so fun to watch, and you won't regret it. The only thing you will regret after watching this brilliance in motion is that you will continue to see random digital clocks read 11:14 and it will sweep you back to whatever scene was the most powerful to you. I saw this film 6 years ago and have read the time 11:14 precisely 292 times. The box calls it a "dark comedy", and to that I say, "Well, you're half right."
BTW: It received a 100% on RT.

NBM rates 11:14 - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today

The Goonies



The Goonies : Part 1

Perspective from The Jester : Born 1982

Goonies is celebrating 25 years of never saying "Die". This movie came out when I was 3, and I did watch it an awful lot growing up, but I do feel I lost out, and I will tell you why. I feel that if I had been the age of the Goonies when it was released, it would have meant so much more to me. Think of it this way. I probably saw it for the first time when I was 8 or 9, that means that the music and clothes, and friendships were 5 years old. If I would have been 10 when it was released, and saw it in the theater, I can only imagine the impact on my childhood it could've had. Don't get me wrong, I love the Goonies, but my love for the film would've been exponentially higher if I had seen it in the theater. I know I liked this movie, but several years went by where I did not watch it a single time. Then A-Bomb moves in and he explains how The Goonies was a staple of his youth. I did not understand this, but in the last 6 years I have seen the Goonies probably 25 times. I do have a new appreciation for the great film, and I do wish I had a gang to hang out with growing up. I mean the film is filled with so many classic moments including The Truffle Shuffle, Booty traps (that's what I said booby traps) the Fratelli's, and the most unlikely hero of all time, Sloth. We know Sloth is a freaky looking man who likes Rocky Road ice cream, and he loves Chunk. He can wiggle his ears independently, and dislikes his mother and brothers for keeping him chained up like an animal. Mikey is the leader of this rag tag group of pre-pubescent boys who call themselves The Goonies. They are about to lose their entire way of life to the bank if they don't get enough money together to save the goondocks. This is where the adventure begins. Mikey has heard the lore of "One Eyed Willie" and his lost treasure, that not even Chester Copperpot could find. the boys find a treasure map, so they must try. They have to deal with some gangsters called The Fratellis, who want the treasure also. Brand is the older brother to Mikey and doesn't like dealing with this non sense, but is quickly immersed in the action as well. Mikey has the heart of a lion, and doesn't ever give up, because "Goonies never say die!"

The Goonies : Part 2

Perspective from The A-Bomb : Born 1974

So, the Jester asked a near impossible task of me. I mean how do you review a movie with such iconic impact? I saw this movie in the theater as an 11 year old. I grew up with the Goonies. I have seen it more than any other movie ever. Heck even my 7 yr old has seen it 3 times in the last 6 months (not sure if it is because he likes it as much as me or he is just sitting with me while I watch). I can’t actually write an objective review of the Goonies. An objective review may not be as kind to a movie with some improbable story developments and a few mediocre special effects. Instead I want to focus on what the movie is. Awesome. A huge impact on the psyche of a growing boy. One of my favorite movies of all time. The story of adventure, treasure hunts, evading and capturing evil, humor, pirates, booty traps (that’s what I said), and love…not just teenage puppy love, but deep enduring friendships both old and new. Too some folks reading this blog, Sean Astin may be identified with “Rudy” or “Sam (LOTR Trilogy), Corey Feldman “any number of Corey Haim sidekick characters, most notably Lost Boys”, Josh Brolin as “W” or from No Country for Old men, and finally Jonathan Ke Quan as “Short Round” from Indy 2. But to me, these guys are forever linked together as Mikey, Brand, Mouth and Data. (By the way, the Fratellis-bad guys- are extremely memorable characters. Anne Ramsey-Momma from Throw Momma from the Train, Robert Davi-quintessential bad guy (he is even as prick as a cop in Die Hard), and everyone’s favorite turncoat from Matrix-Joey Pantoliano. I can not recommend this movie enough. If you have never seen it (though I am sure nearly everyone has) then skip renting it. Just go ahead and buy it. It is as good the 100th time as it was the first time. I give this film two Truffle Shuffles up (Could never forget Chunk) straight to cinematic work of art.

**On a side note, a few years ago I watched Goonies at a local theater at a midnight showing, and again at a showing during a Movies on the Square in my home town. I count myself as extremely lucky to get the chance to watch this movie on the big screen once (twice?) again. If you find yourself with this same opportunity, make sure to take it. You won’t regret it.

**Another side note.  This movie is being re-released to celebrate it.  I will buy it on Blu-Ray.  This movie is good enough to own on three formats – VHS, DVD, and Blu-ray.  Hopefully there are some more extras.  It took 20 yrs for me to find out that “The Octopus was very scary” actually referred to a deleted scene and not Data making crap up.

A-Bomb and The Jester rate The Goonies - A Cinematic Work of Art


Buy Your Copy Today

The Last Dragon

Having been lambasted for months from my "Older" friends for not having seen The Last Dragon we scheduled a viewing party. I consider it a party, because there were 4 people present, booze, and nacho cheese dip. I felt good, because essentially the party was thrown in my honor. So last night, it was myself Dean-o, the AP and The A-Bomb sitting through this mid eighties answer to the Martial Arts movement of the era. What I really enjoyed about this movie was, well, everything. When you watch older, cheesy movies as an adult with guys who actually saw it as kids or young adults if you will, you what's gonna transpire. The ones who have seen it will love, while the 3rd party viewer will wonder WHY? they love it. I pride myself in having a very unbiased mind when it comes to seeing old movies for the first time. I really can take myself back in time and enjoy it for what it was at the time, and The Last Dragon delivered. The thing that surprised me most was the really good acting job by Taimak (Bruce LeRoy). I cannot believe he didn't do more movies, and BTW, I am serious. He plays The Last Dragon. A very mild mannered, soft spoken, Kung Fu "Master?" He will take down baddies, but will only use enough force to subdue the situation. He ends up pissing of several bad dudes, but none worse than Sho-Nuff, or Mr. Nuff as he is referred. He is a self proclaimed master as needs to beat down LeRoy to sustain his rep. LeRoy often declines the fight, as he knows it will do no good. His entire destiny is to Find "The Glow" and be the Master. He knows what must be done, and he does it. Vanity is his love interest, because he saves her from peril a few times, and chicks dig stuff like that. I don't know why, but I am excited to know the re-make will be coming to the screen shortly starring Taimak and Samuel L Jackson as Sho-Nuff.

**On a side note, the picture at the top of this post was retrieved off a website called badmovies.org. Ironic? I think so.

As a child I would've most definitely rated this higher, but as an adult able to travel back through time in his mind during viewings of old movies I will rate The Last Dragon - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

Pulp Fiction Winners and Answers

Winners

#1-- I believe that it is Mr. Wallace's golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory! - Brandi W.

#2-- It's weapons grade plutonium and a black light(makes plutonium glow yellow and look generally bad ass). It was a botched deal to between Marcellus and the Iranians. You have to kill everyone involved in something like that, especially if it goes bad. The band aid was from a questionable mole Marcellus had removed at the dermatologist and completely unrelated; unless the plutonium gave him skin cancer? - Andy

Non Winners, but Great Answers

I think that the briefcase is filled to capacity with Benjamins. Moola. Nothing complicated or deep. -Rob S.

I think that he had evidence against himself, linking him to sexual crimes against the little catholic orphanage down the street.  -Joe S.

Michael Jackson’s left glove!!  -Cyndee R.

Two giant light bulbs. - Jamie T.

I think that it's an orange light bulb in it. - Scot C.

Let me see now!.. Bad guys, Murder, Mayhem.  It seems to me the only thing they need is a Jeanie to grant them 3 wishes to make their lives complete. If a Jeanie could fit in a bottle surely one could fit in a briefcase. -Sheila T.

A priceless antique pistol called “The Mexican”. - Dean S.

Jester,

So here is what I believe is in the briefcase and why. It is too easy to offer the same generic answer that everyone believes, that it is heroin or Marcellus's soul. I tend to lean to another belief. I actually had a hard time deciding between it being a totally new unheard of drug or a small tiny mythical/magical item. At first I believed it might be something cool like the galaxy on the dog's collar in MIB. But now I think probably some new unheard of drug called "Kanga". I mean, why would a gangster of his caliber and connections have any dealings with the pansies that Jules and Vincent have to off? Makes no sense that he would have any business with those types of guys when he surrounds himself with such professionals including the Wolf. Why else, than they came up with some way to synthesize or create something unheard of and crazy marketable. Those goofballs are the on screen adaption of the smart, but no common sense kids that could think something that crazy up. I understand some people's questioning the band aid and show it as proof that something was stolen from his head, but I believe the soul is intangible and located in the totality of the body, not a spot in the back of your noggin. Plus, having just succumbed to my own battle with male pattern baldness, I can attest to how hard it is to shave your head that smooth without any nicks. - Aaron M.

A Solid gold 12 inch giraffe - Jason M.

A golden rape whistle. - Lisa T.

It could be a rare collectors edition all yellow 1967 Hasbro Lite-Brite. - Andrew C.


Jules and Marcellus told us what's in the case. Their speeches dealt with pride, doing unto others, and taking care of the misfortunate. Since neither exhibited these traits, the case contained what they did not. It was the "Golden Rule". The case was a metaphor for the Ark of the Covenant. Unattainable. Brett got killed cause he treated Mr. Wallace like a bitch, not learning anything from his time with the case. -Lance T.


A Limited edition, autographed Gold Lp of "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy. -Clintonius 

Inside the briefcase is a light bulb. Don't try to deny it. - Aubrey W.


Jules went undercover for Marsellus Wallace as an employee at an island theme park. After faking his own death by dinosaur, he escaped with a briefcase belonging to millionaire John Hammond. So what was in the briefcase? Amber with a mosquito trapped inside with dinosaur DNA. Marsellus Wallace was jealous and wanted his own dinosaur theme park. - Missy M.



Thanks for playing and keep tuning in for more competitions in the future.                                                                                         --The Jester



































The Goods

Ever since Piven began wearing a suit as Ari Gold on Entourage, I've been waiting for him to hit the big screen again. I think Ari helped him find himself as an actor, and the goods was the perfect role for him. An arrogant, pompy, car salesman. He and his crew are called in when small independent car lots can't move product. he and his team use gimmicks, speeches, and really foul language to reach their goal. These speeches I speak of gets some people in trouble. The words Don "The Goods" Ready (Piven) speak before the first day of selling at Sellick motors actually insights a hate crime directed at the very funny Ken Jeong. His slogan and his business cards are a laugh riot. His team members are played by Ving Rhames, who really is able to show off his funny side, and he hasn't been home in 2 1/2 years, and he is 90% sure he left his front door open. David Koechner plays Brent who is the subject of his employers gay interests. Katherine Hahn plays Babs, a drunk seductive woman who has her sights most recently on the son of the owner of the dealership. He is 10, but has a disease, so he looks forty. Her scenes are hilarious. Don always has a goal, and he always reaches said goal. This particular job comes right down to the wire, but he cannot fail, he won't. A laugh a minute, with mostly vulgar language, and lots of nudity. I didn't think it would finish strong with as many jokes being present, but I really enjoyed every second of it. Especially Will Ferrell's cameo, where he jumps out of an an airplane, and when he pulls the string on his chute, what gets deployed? Not a parachute, but a bunch of dildos and sex toys. Good stuff. I do recommend if you are looking to laugh, look no further than The Goods!

NBM rates The Goods - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

The Scorpion King

Being a fan of the first two Mummy films, I had little hope for The Scorpion King. Here was my thinking in 2002 when it was released. A new movie being promoted as the next in the "Mummy" series. A movie without any of the original cast, and the lead star is a wrestler? The Rock? Who the hell is that? I knew who he was in '02, I'm just saying, I have no loyalty to The Rock. I was a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan, and you chose one guy or the other. You can't split loyalty. Plus, to this point, I hadn't seen any wrestler successfully make the transition from the ring to the screen. Repeatedly being told this movie is actually good, we decided to give it a shot last night, and it wasn't bad. The action was really good, and the story was decent. I do think the comic relief could've been stronger, but all in all it's good. The Rock is a mercenary of sorts. He is hired to kill the bad guys sorceress, but when he has the opportunity to kill her, he can't. Instead he shifts his anger towards Memnon, a really bad dude, he gains notoriety through fear and mayhem. He must be dethroned for a peaceful future. The Rock, as we all know by now, is a good actor. With a nice resume' under his belt, he did what Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Stone Cold and John Cena never could. Be taken seriously with first run blockbuster success. So much success he has officially dropped The Rock moniker and is strictly known as Dwayne Johnson. He did go with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for a while, but I think he was finally done with the middle name around the time of The Gameplan, or the Tooth Fairy. Talk about quality. I do have high hopes he returns to form with his new flick "Faster". What The Scorpion King did remind me of was the action movies of old. Movies like Conan and the like.

NBM rates The Scorpion King - Great

Buy Your Copy Today

It's Complicated

Time to switch gears and go with a movie that is really light hearted and I'll be honest, hilarious. Meryl Streep is always good in whatever it is she is doing at the time. Add to that, legendary funnyman Steve Martin, and recently every one's newest funnyman Alec Baldwin, and it's pure gold. Alec and Meryl divorced late in life, and Alec married a twenty something because, well, she was twenty something. Meryl decided to find herself, and she has several ways of achieving that. She meets an architect who she hires to build an addition to her house. Martin plays that architect. She has no intentions of getting involved at this point, but fate is a funny thing. Alec, on the other hand, hates his new life. His young wife wants another kid, and for someone in their fifties, it doesn't seem all that appealing. At the time Meryl is testing the waters with the architect, she somehow falls into bed with her ex husband. She likes the familiarity without the strings attached (friends with benefits), he likes being anywhere but home. Alec now believes he can be back with his ex like nothing ever happened, but she doesn't see it that way. She very much likes her independence. As it's called it does indeed get complicated. I will say the two funniest scenes is when they all get high at a party, and when Alec ends up naked in front of a web cam conversation Meryl is having with Martin. Little did he know, he put Steve face to face with "Little Alec". The movie is full of laughs, and is a lot more mature than most of the Romantic comedies to hit theaters as of late. Meryl goes from no one, to two men and doesn't know what to do. She wants a little bit of everything on her plate. The familiar ex, the new guy, and the independence. She ultimately has to choose, before it gets out of hand, and her entire life is in disarray. Co-starring The Office's Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) as the son in law who knows and sees way too much. He adds a few hilarious scenes himself. It did catch me off guard how good this movie actually was. I recommend it.

NBM rates It's Complicated - Awesome

Buy Your Copy Today

300

Definitely in the top 10 all time in the category of "Guy Movies". I remember really anticipating this film. I did read the graphic novel and the movie is spot on word for word, and scene for scene. It is also the first time I can recall a movie adaptation from a comic book to look so much like a comic book. Digital blood, loads of green screen work, and slow motion integrated to perfection. This is what I call a "Big Screen" movie. I saw it with my younger, full of piss and vinegar brother, and we had a blast. Its bloody and sexy and mythological, but it's absolutely brilliant. Zach Snyder directs to perfection. He deals with a production that was 85% green screen. He launched the career of Gerard Butler, and made a film that made over 200M domestically. The film follows the 300 Spartans who fight an army of thousands to defend their freedom form Xerxes (who may get a film of his own. Juicy Rumor.) Xerxes is taking over the world one country or village, or providence at a time. When King Leonidas (Butler) won't give up his country, the war begins. The Spartans are 100% heart in super sexy stacked soldier bodies. All is going well for the well trained strategically enhanced Spartan army up until a bitter turncoat, who was denied entry into the army gives valuable info to Xerxes and his crew. The film is a fairy tail that cannot be won by the heroes. All fairy tails do not have a happy ending. This was the first time digital blood took over a movie, that I can remember. It's a lot easier to ingest than squibs, and I imagine cheaper on the budget. I've seen this movie in it's entirety probably 10 times, but I've seen bits and pieces over 30 times. One of the greatest visuals of all time pertains to the picture posted above. Leonaidas' shield is riddles with arrows, this doesn't faze him. He uses his sword in an upward motion to snap the length off the arrows. It really is awesome directing. I love this movie, and if everyone didn't die (Sorry for the spoiler. Open a book and it wouldn't be a spoiler at all,) I would be looking for to the sequel. I apologize, I'm a bit distracted by the premier of Conan. Shameless plug, IT'S AWESOMELY HILARIOUS! Anyway, 300! Watch it!

NBM rates 300 - Phenomenal

Buy Your Copy Today