Ghost Rider

How many great movies has Sam Elliot done? I mean really. The Big Lebowski. Tombstone. Roadhouse.
Actor of the millenium I must say. - A Bomb's Facebook post yester night.

You pose a good question and you may be right, sir. Sam Elliot is quite the awesome actor. He's got the southern twang, the raspy voice, and the most gorgeous lip accessory known to man. Silver flowing hair, and a B. A. persona. When it comes to mustaches, there really is only two that need to be discussed. Sam and Magnum P.I. It's a close race. Anyway, Ghost Rider did really poorly compared to other Marvel films that have been released recently. This was Nicolas Cage's last resort at being a super hero in a film. He had Superman wrapped up, only to be replaced at the last minute. He is a bit of a Superman nut, and really took the snub personally, but he is also a comic book freak, so he was not going to be denied forever. Eventually Ghost Rider came along and he did get to be the super comic book hero he so longed for. Unfortunately due to poor numbers and extremely poor ratings, it's already up for an entire revamping, including the cast. Sorry Nic. Ghost Rider was not horrible. Actually I quite enjoyed it. It took a butter knife and lots of patience for me to get it out of a broken DVD player in order to watch it the first time. It was worth it. When Nic makes a deal with the devil to save his fathers life, he becomes the Ghost Rider, a flaming skeletal figure who rides a motorcycle and destroys the wicked. He only turns at night and people can see him. The CG on the Ghost Rider was surprisingly good. When he transforms in one fluid motion, it's kind of awesome. Nic, after a long night of snappin necks, ends up in a cemetery, where he meets "The caretaker" played by Sam Elliot. Sam understands where he is, mentally, and offers to help the confused man. It's definitely worth watching at least once. I do think the Ghost Rider is one of the coolest characters ever, and I hope to re-mix turns out really well.

Update!!!!  Nicolas Cage will be reprising the role of the Ghost Rider in the upcoming sequel. News to me. Earlier this year I had read this was not the case. My apologies

NBM rates Ghost Rider - Great

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Army of Darkness

This movie was specially requested today by my good friend Superman. We were discussing great films over a slice of pizza and a diet sun drop. I was eating, he was not. He claimed pizza to be his kryptonite of sorts. Anywho, Army of Darkness is one of the very first DVD's I ever bought when I got my first player back in 2000. The crazy thing of was how much it cost. I remember paying $24.99 for this film. That's when DVD's were as expensive as blu ray is now. (On a side note, I paid upward $75 for the Die Hard trilogy. Nuts, huh?) Army is one of the great camp, spoof, horror comedies of all time. It stars the B movie legend, Bruce Campbell. Campbell plays discount store clerk, Ash. Ash is wormholed back into the 1300's where he his originally seen as a bad guy to the locals. Luckily for him he happen to be transported with both his boom stick (shotgun) and his chainsaw, which is attached to arm. He is seen as the savior to these people with his knowledge and weaponry. He is placed in charge of finding "the evil book" which basically unleashes hell on earth. When Ash must recite the words to make it all better, he duffs. This unleashes an army of skeletons, and his dead self aptly named Evil Ash. This film is filled with classic scenes including Two Headed Ash, The skeletons giving our hero the fish hook and 3 stooges poke to the eyes. He must absolve the situation in order to get back to his time. When this movie came on a couple of weeks ago, my wife said "I don't wanna watch anything scary". I LOL'd. It just so happen to be on the part when the skeltons are whippin up on Ash. It's a classic movie that never gets old, and if it were to get a remake this day and time, it would probably be quite awesome. It is a great story, and Ash is awesome. BTW: he can always use another blanket for his horse.

NBM rates Army of Darkness - Phenomenal

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National Treasure vs. Sahara

 

  VS.   

We're gonna do it a

little different tonight. Most days I review one movie, pretty straight forward. This is our first comparison duel between two films released only 5 months apart with similar plots. Some people say these two films cannot be compared, to which I respond, "They are both treasure movies. Am I wrong?" In our first battle, based purely on the looks of our heroes, Dirk (McConaughey from Sahara) wins hands down on our "Pretty Scale". I mean Nic Cage is awesome and all, but those muscles and those long beautiful locks Dirk sports are crazy good, especially for the ladies.  2nd battle is which film had the better sidekick? Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) of NT vs. Al Giordino (Steve Zahn) of Sahara. Riley is way more sarcastic than Al, but Al adds more to his movie I feel. 2-0 Sahara. 3rd test - Villain. Sean Bean of NT plays villains in almost every movie he is in and he so good at evil doings, he can't be beat. 4th is based on The Hot woman of each film. Penelope Cruz or Diane Kruger. This is purely based on looks alone, not acting. I tend to be more for the light skin blondies, rather than the Dark skin, hair combo. Looks like we are all knotted up at 2 a piece. Last thing is the most important thing, the plot high points. Dirk and Al are BFF's from way back and they hunt down lost treasures at sea with their Commander in charge, William H. Macy. Macy add so much to this film, including his boat, which was used by Dirk and Al to "pull a Panama". Funniest scene in the entire film. Ben Gates (Cage of NT) is more historian than treasure hunter. When Ben is commissioned by Bean to find the lost treasure of our American forefathers, he does his job perfectly. Unfortunately one treasure leads to another, but they are just clues to get to the big one. The one that is not suppose to exist. When Ben realizes to final clue is on the back of The Declaration of Independence, he knows he must stop his pursuit. Bean, on the other hand, decides to move forward and steal this historical document. Ben knows he must steal it first, in order to keep it safe. Ben knows he could face the rest of his life in prison for this, but that's better than the alternative. I love the scene where Ben has the document, which is behind bullet proof glass (makes sense), and Bean's goons start shooting at him down the hall. He uses the document as a shield. It is intense and perfect. While Sahara faces global problems in Africa, National Treasure uses American History fact and adds their own bit of fiction to make it quite entertaining. Harvey Keitel joins the NT film as an FBI agent hot on Ben's trail. It's smart, witty, and extremely entertaining, especially when Ben steals his Dad's (Jon Voight) car, and tie him to a chair. Sahara is more action than brains, but still a really fun film to watch. Plot goes to National Treasure, therefore crowning it victorious in our first ever battle de film.

I would really like your opinion on which one you like better. Post a comment at the bottom of the post or post it on our Facebook fan page located here. I will tally all 12 votes I'm sure I will get and post the results next week some time.

NBM rates National Treasure - Phenomenal

NBM rates Sahara - Awesome

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10 Things I Hate About You

Everyone has those certain movies that have a special place in our heart. We are undeniably biased towards it for whatever reason. Whether it came out and related to us at that time in our life, or the love was like our current love, but for me with this film, it was released when I was a senior in high school. This was such a huge hit with me and everyone in my class at the time. It just clicked. It was so relatable to us, as high schoolers trying to figure it all out. This movie did such a good job of segregating the classes high schoolers still face to this day. You've got the jocks, geeks, stoners, preps, male models, and neutrals. The neutral's really don't have a specific place in any group, but they can wander between several groups with no one noticing whether they belong there at that time. Our Hero, yea I said Hero, played by the awesome Joseph Gordon Levitt is in love with a girl, Bianca, that is "out of his class". Does that keep him from trying? NOPE. Hero qualities. He is smart enough to devise a plan not only to get noticed, but also score a bit of a pity date with his princess. She, on the other hand, just uses him as so many women do to the nice guys in their lives. Heath Ledger's first big screen film released in the U.S. He is so great as the brooding, dark, mysterious, transfer student. This does not stop Cameron (J G Levitt) from approaching him with a business deal. The Deal? Well, Bianca's father, a gynecologist, will not let her date unless her older sister dates. His plan is quite smart, because he knows her older sister hates to go out and party, and she never has any boyfriends. Cameron hires Patrick (Ledger) to court Bianca's big sister, Kat. She is undateable, according to her classmates. Not because she against it, she just does not want to conform to what is "normal", and she's a bit of a bitch. Two completely different people on the scene. Bianca and Kat really don't mesh as siblings, and they act it so well. Does our Hero get the girl? Do the douche bags pay for their sins? Watch and see. Like I said, I am biased, but I'm sure there are a few films out there, that you feel the same way about.

NBM biasedly rates 10 Things I Hate About You - Phenomenal

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Gone in 60 Seconds

This one I really do not understand. Rated a measly 24% on RT, it angers me more than most. Back in 2000 when it was released I was a bit of a Nicolas Cage fanatic. Not so much anymore, but then he was awesome. I went to see this film opening night with a friend of mine who happened to be a girl. We both enjoyed the film loads, but it began my obsession with cars. I always liked cars, but this put a whole new spin on the automobile for me. From then on all I could think about was which cars would be worth a grand theft auto rap. Eleanor, definitely. My love for the fastback mustang, Shelby or otherwise, it didn't matter to me, began with this film. I just wanted to own one. I still haven't gotten it, but one day I will. This film is such an adrenaline rush, and to be honest, I haven't met anyone who doesn't like it. Why wouldn't someone like it? It has a young, hot Angelina with blond dreads, Fast cars, and a family tie that makes you appreciate your siblings all the more. When Master P showed up, I almost crapped my pants. I was thrown at first, but I must admit, I didn't hate him. He did his part well. Vinnie Jones adds the muscle to Memphis Raines' group. This was his first big film released in the USA. Since then he has made a nice career of being a bad mama jama. Not to mention anything with Robert Duvall is worth watching. If you disagree with this statement, send me a film with him you don't like. I dare ya. I do believe me and my brother set a record for the most consecutive days watched in a row once it was on DVD. To this day it has not got old, and I still want to be driving Eleanor, evading the cops, trying to save my bro's life. Unrealistic? Maybe, but undeniably enjoyable. I ended up marrying that girl I took to this film those many years ago, and until this point it has been really good. Unfortunately I just realized a married a 2000 Volvo Turbo Wagon R. Sure it's a Turbo, but it's still a wagon. This changes my entire outlook on my entire marriage. Not only my marriage, but any of the major decisions I have made in my life. I must now re-assess everything. I do still want my fastback though, that'll never change.




 (Pretty Pitiful, huh?

      Well, that's my Lisa.

  Freakin station wagon.)

NBM rates -

 Gone in 60 Seconds - Phenomenal

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Up in the Air

Being a Clooney fan, I can easily say this is his best work, even better than his time on ER. The film follows a man, Clooney, who down sizes companies for a living. He is a lifer that loves his work. He loves the travel, the people, and he's ok with ruining people's lives. His new partner, on the other hand, has a far different approach to the situation. She (Anna Kendrick) is a 22 year old, fresh out of school, naive little girl who thinks it's just one stepping stone to the next best thing in her life. She feels it's just a way of life, but quickly realizes it's not as easy as it looks. She has created a new way to improve the downsizing company she works for. They will use her new system, firing people over the internet, to save her company money. This pretty much pisses off Clooney beyond belief. This is his life. Life on the road and in the airport. It's what he lives for, and doesn't want to give that up. In the process he has to babysit this girl, and at times, give her a shoulder to cry on. She tries to relay her lust for love and life, while he tries to relay his cynicism to her. Life sucks, people will fail you, and we are all here just on Earth to live and die. Then he falls for another of his kind, played by Vera Farmiga. They meet up in cities they both happen to be in at the same time, no strings attached, until the day he wants more. His goal in life is not to screw people over, it's actually to be the 7th person to log 10 million miles on American Airlines. He has it all planned out and this is what he lives for. It is one of the most endearing stories ever told, and Clooney does it to perfection. It was said, he did not win the Oscar because it looked to easy for him. Isn't that the definition of a Great actor? He should have won based on that alone. I love this movie, and Danny McBride, Kenny Powers himself, makes an appearance. Don't worry, he is portraying anything near his K P alter ego. He actually is normal and helps our lead character find himself in the process. If you haven't seen it, you're missing out on one of the best acted films of the last 10 years.

NBM rates Up in the Air - Phenomenal

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A Perfect Getaway

A Perfect Getaway seemed like it would be good, if it was done right. It was absolutely done right. Cydney (Milla Jovovich) and Cliff (Steve Zahn) are on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Sort of an odd couple, but it works really well. She seems very adventurous, while he, a Screen writer, is very uptight. They purchase tickets to hike a trail along the island, and on their way there they stop to pick up some hitchhikers. Kale (Chris Hemsworth of the yet to be released Thor) and his wife are not the type of people you would want to give a ride to. After a heated series of back and forths they decide not to take them anyway, and leave them stranded on the road. Now on the trail, our newlyweds come to their first obstacle, but luckily Nick (Timothy Olyphant) is there to help. A friendship is starting between the three of them, but Cliff is always uneasy. When Nick discovers that Cliff is a screen writer, the movie turns really funny. Timothy Olyphant talking Nic Cage was great. Gone in sixty seconds anyone? I Love movies that talk movies. While on the trail they hear about some murders that have happened the day before. The details are sketchy, but it is said it's a man and a woman to which Nick replies, "sounds like Natural Born Killers". Cliff and Cydney think nothing of it until they realize Nick is on his way to meet his girl, then the gears start turning. The directing is genius, and the acting is superb. Like any good thriller, it keeps you guessing the whole time. This film does a great job of sending us one direction, only to detour in the complete opposite direction. Who is the killer? Kale has some great screen presence. Every scene he shows up in is really uncomfortable, in that good, hair tingling way. First we think its Kale, then Nick, then Kale again, but it does a good job of masking who we should think the killers are. Flip Flop little rabbit. (I don't know what that means). I really enjoyed every aspect of this thriller. I do think Olyphant is the best part of it all. He is constantly spilling details about his own life as a "serviceman" throwing plot points to Cliff for a screen play. He is a self proclaimed "American Jedi", title 1 of his script, and he is also "unkillable" (his words, not mine). This movie is so fun to watch. So who is the killer? Watch and see. Good turns and Great twists make this movie unmissable.

NBM rates A Perfect Getaway - Awesome

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The Beach

Guest Post by Sir Lancelot:

Hello world.

 I am Clinton's older more cynical brother who believes in the nobility of film. That is all that needs to be said.
  I am contributing a perspective on Leo DiCaprio's "the Beach". Unfortunately, I had to catch this one on DVD. I think maybe it was the late nineties and the thought of being caught watching a Leo movie during those days made my balls retreat. Keep in mind, his two previous movies were Disney's "The Man in the Iron Mask" and "Titanic". Certainly not the most masculine of movies and may have contributed to the lack-luster performance of "the Beach" at the box office.
   Nonetheless, this movie 180-ed me for Leo. I don't know if it was how he introduced himself - "My name is Richard... so what else do you need to know? None of that shit matters" or him walking through the market and being offered to drink snake blood by a street hawker mocking him for wanting everything to be just like America. It was new and different, a little cheesy but unique.
  There are all the typical conventions of an adventure movie, 1st person narration, exotic location, forbidden treasure, a gorgeous French girl, and they all deliver.
 The movie revolves around a young adventurer looking for something else. Richard really doesn't know what he is after, but he knows what he is trying to escape from - the ordinary. While he is wandering, he meets the local escaped mental patient. They share some smoke and he tells Richard a fairy tale about the perfect beach hidden on a secret island. Richard dismisses this as the ramblings of someone whose "eff'd in the head". Daffy (the psycho) rambles on about the island and the scene fades. One little jewel I haven't seen until watching this scene again recently was Daffy somehow knew Richard's name, though I never saw them introduce themselves.
  The majority of the plot has been done a million times, but the reason I think it endures with me is all the psychotic breaks that happen. Daffy becomes Richards guardian angel, Richard becomes the new defender of the island, residents let one of their own rot alone in the woods, and there is a video game. I know I know, you don't get the video game part. Just let it be. I think the psychological aspects of this movie are what distinguish the Beach in my mind. 
French boobies are good too.


The Beach gets a NBM rating of Awesome.


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The Last Starfighter

When my neighbor, who is also my best friend, who is also old as dirt (he is 35) asked me if I wanted to watch The Last Starfighter, of course I said yes. This is the sole reason I am better than every other critic on Earth. I am able to watch a movie from 1984, and appreciate it for all it is. I did not grow up with this movie. Tonight is the first time I ever saw it. I am completely able to send my brain back to when I was 8 years old, and absolutely love this film. I do not make fun of the poor CG, or anything like that. I dug it completely. Tron came out and created the computer generated film in 1982, and not many other films tries to follow that lead. The Last Starfighter does enter the realm of computer graphics and does it rather well. It follows Alex, a trailer park raised young man who feels he is destined for better things. He does spend much of his time playing the video game "Starfighter". A video game to him and every other Earthling, he has no idea it is actually a real time simulator placed on Earth to train would be starfighters. The game serves as a recruitment tool for the aliens facing invasion. A fleet of starfighters have been set to fight back against evil. Alex wants no part of this, so he hitches the first ride back to the trailer park. Once back on his home planet, the rest of the starfighter fleet are destroyed by the enemy, plus one saboteur, who is on board with them. Alex knows what he must do. Being The Last Starfighter, he rises to the challenge. He leaves his family and his girl in order to save several other worlds in the universe. The video game has taught him well, and he uses his talents to the fullest. With great comedy intertwined into the sci fantasy story, it turns into an awesome story, that in my opinion, should have been sequelled. I mean, Evil Emperor Xur, (Similar to the Evil Emperor Zurg from Toy Story. Coincidence? I think not), was never killed. He was not even captured. Alex accepted the job of Starfighter trainer, he came back to Earth to get his girl and save the galaxy, but no sequel. Baffling. (On a side note, The Last Starfighter, 1984, still looks better than Transmorphers, 2007.) If I had seen this when I was 8, I would have rated it Awesome. Now, at 28,

NBM rates The Last Starfighter - Awesome....... I Rule!!!

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MacGruber

MacGruber didn't disappoint, but at the same time time, didn't enhance my very being either. It was exactly what it was suppose to be. MacGruber (SNL's Will Forte) must stop the diabolical Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer). The laughs were present, but they were individual moments in the film. The film as a whole was good, but I'm still not sure what critics and people alike expected when it was released. Sure, the trailer was full of laughs, but there were many other funny parts that helped carry the movie. Did people really expect a blockbuster, serious Seagal-ish film? I didn't. I don't watch SNL often, but every time I do, there is a MacGruber skit. The MacGruber skit, for those unfamiliar with it, it always the same. He and two others have thirty seconds to disarm the bomb, but MacGruber always gets distracted and never really succeeds. I actually really enjoy the skit. What I really thought of during the movie was how the Writers took a 30 second skit, based on another fictional character, and turned it into a funny film. Of all the SNL movies, this one had the least to work with, but they ended up making a movie that is not horrible. Wayne's World, Night at the Roxbury, Blues Brothers, Ladies Man were all based on skits that had substance. MacGruber was able to stretch their sketch into 90 minutes with funny one liners, and lots of cursing. I do think the R rating was necessary. Without all the F-Bombs it may not have been as funny. I may never watch MacGruber again, but am glad I at least saw it once, to be able to say I like it.


NBM rates MacGruber - Good (1st time I have used the new rating of Good)


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Primer

Click to Enlarge

I'm not gonna lie to you. Primer was probably one of the most cerebral films I have ever seen. (That means it took a lot of thought process to process what was being seen.) This will be the shortest review I have done, because as brilliant as it is, it speaks for itself. In short, these four genius programmers have built some error checking programs that would ultimately help them quit their 9-5 jobs. When two of the guys play the "what if" game, they kind of accidentally invent time travel. It was written and directed by David Carruth, who also plays the title character, Aaron. Aaron and his best friend, Abe, decide to implement their new theories and surprisingly, it works. With their new found time, 6 extra hours per day to be exact, they soon realize the implications of what could, and may happen. They know they are the only one's who could be trusted with the new technology, but can they trust each other, or themselves for that fact? They come up with a list of rules that must be followed to the T. They soon realize how taxing this new adventure has become. Sure, in theory, it would be awesome to have more time in a day, but that responsibility? Mankind cannot handle it, and this film really shows that. It is a genius piece of writing, with great acting and no frills. Frills would only distract us from thinking about what we were watching. Ultimately, they decide, it may have been a bad idea. It is a fantastic movie, which I do not own, Yet... I may use my own link to buy a copy at the bottom of this very post. I wish I had the chart pictured above to help guide me through this film the first time I watched it. You now have an advantage thanks to me. Your Welcome.

NBM rates Primer - A Work of Cinematic Art

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Underworld: Evolution

The Underworld trilogy is great because of it's originality, and it was well known before the Twilight craze ever plagued us. This, the second in the trilogy, is the poorest rated on RT. I rather enjoyed this film for its back and forth, somewhat origin story of the vampires and werewolves of this world. Brilliantly dark and usually rainy, it delivers a sense of uncomfortableness which made it more intense. The Underworld series is a better look at what Vamps are suppose to be. Ruthless killers, super sexy, classy dead people, who continue to advance in their own society. The beginning of the story flashes back to the story of Marcus and William. Marcus is the original Vampire, whereas his brother, William, is the original Werewolf. Their father is also talked about and makes an appearance. He is the original immortal. This film takes place exactly where the first one leaves off, and streams into the new story perfectly. The first film gave us Michael, who eventually becomes one of the coolest looking hybrids (Half Vamp, half Lycan) ever. Even cooler looking than the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid. When Marcus is awoken from his 100 year slumber, he has also become a hybrid. A much more devilish hybrid than his cousin Michael. Marcus' #1 objective is to free his brother from the prison the other elder Vamps banished him to. He wants to rule to earth with his brother at his side. Selene and Michael know they must stop him and with great fight scenes and an opening for a third film involving Selene, it wraps up beautifully. I do not get why these 3 films have been rated so poorly, but I like all of them in the same realm. Always fun to watch, I anticipate the fourth film which is slated for a 2011 release and will return Kate Beckinsale to the role of Selene. I have seen 2 of the 3 in the theater and I will watch the next run there also. Vampires who use automatic weapons. Can it get any better than that? How about Kate Beckinsale in super tight black patent leather. I think, yes.

NBM rates Underworld : Evolution - Phenomenal

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The Time Traveler's Wife

Every once in a great while a movie comes along that exceeds expectations. This film did that for me. It did it on a few different levels. I actually saw it in the theater on a date night, and didn't really know what to expect. What I was worried about was the confusion aspect. From the trailers I had seen, and articles I had read, it just seemed like it would be a good book, but not a good movie. Movies tend to have a lack of details necessary to the story to account for time. Back and forth, in and out of dimensions Bana's character Henry has no control of when or where he goes, it just sort of happens. Sometimes he goes into the future, sometimes the past, but the amount of time he is in limbo and away from his life with Clare (Rachel McAdams) is always undetermined and begins to take it's toll on their marriage. However this was written was so good, the audience didn't have to concentrate on thinking about what was happening. It just made sense. I don't know the formula used, but there are several other films that could use a dose. Every time Henry fades away, he ends up in a different time, naked and alone. He has to figure out where he has landed, and then he has to get clothes and survive. Not necessarily in that order. The film goes into a whole different direction when they decide to have a baby. It is a fundamental part of the film, but I'm not going to spoil any of that for you who haven't seen it yet. I say, yet, because I am well aware of my audience's loyalty to the truth I speak, and I do appreciate it. It has been constantly playing on HBO this month and I tend to watch bits and pieces of it every time I come across it. Great story, great direction, and great acting make this a must.

NBM rates The Time Traveler's Wife - Phenomenal

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Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body blew me away. It was funny, sexy, and quite original. I had little expectation for this film due to the awful publicity it got during it's release. Within the first 20 minutes, I was in it to win it, whatever that means. The narration by Needy (Amanda Seyfried) at the beginning is brilliant, and as the movie goes along it's just clever. It really showed that Megan Fox can act, and with J.K. Simmons playing a teacher who has a hook for a hand, which was never explained, it really rounded out nicely. Dubbed Horror, I really think it falls short of that term. If Scream is considered Horror, than Jennifer's Body is correct, but Scream is really horrific.? I would probably classify both these films as High School confusion with students trying new things, Murder. The story was told and directed very well. It was original and I think for Diablo Cody coming fresh off of writing the huge hit Juno, she really did a good job not falling back into writing the same story with new characters like so many writers do, I'm looking at you Guy Ritchie. Still love you though. With Jennifer giving up the details of why she has begun killing boys right at the half way point, I was wondering if it could maintain the momentum. It did. Amanda Seyfried comes off as paranoid, but it is real. The guy who played her boyfriend was awesome. He is a Super cool dude in every sense of the word. Not popularity wise, but mentally. He also had one funniest lines in the whole movie. I don't necessarily find Seyfried attractive, but she is quite a good actress. The film wasn't all that bloody, except for a couple of images throughout, it really wasn't hard to watch. I knew it had something special going for it when we watched the first half on Wednesday night and wasn't able to finish it til tonight. For two straight days it took over my mind. I was constantly thinking about where it was leading. I wanted to finish it and confirm to myself how good it really was. At the same time it had a good possibility of being half of a great movie, and half of a mediocre movie. It ended up be a great film through and through. Definitely.  worth watching.

NBM rates Jennifer's Body - Awesome

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The Lookout

I often pride myself on being the first among my circle to watch independent films. I love independent films, and for the life of me, I don't know why they do not get the release or attention they deserve. For our 50th review here on NBM I decided to go with a movie that was well received, but not seen by a whole lot of people. The Lookout is a great look at what one's life would turn into after a devastating brain injury. Chris Pratt (played by Indie film king, Joseph Gordon Levitt) is an all state high school hockey player who has everything going for him. He does come from money, but that does not influence the way he wants to live. He wants to do it his way and on his terms, which happens to be his Hockey ability. One night in standard immature 18 year old fashion, Chris gets into an auto accident which is all his fault. His friends in the car die and his girlfriend is never the same. Through lots of rehab Chris regains his ability to speak and eventually strings enough words together to form a coherent sentence. With the little ability he now has, he is able to get a job as a bank night janitor. The one aspect of his injury that is still prominent is his memory. Its poor. He must constantly pen notes to help him remember such mundane details, such as right from left. One night an old classmate of his, Gary (Matthew Goode), runs into him and starts up a conversation about his hockey career and achievements. It is so good for Chris to feel like what he did mattered, so to him this was the beginning of a new friendship that could get his life in even more order than it currently was. With great supporting roles from Jeff Daniels, and the hottest red head in Hollywood , Isla Fisher, this film goes from good to great in a hurry. When his new buddy Gary asks Chris to help them rob the bank he janitors, he is reluctant, but at the same time he does not have the mental capacity to really make a decision on his own. He who has the money, has the power. This is the line that ultimately gets him involved and funny enough saves his life. A brilliant movie from start to finish. A truly original story and a great cast. The movie sucks you in so hard, that you are sweating near the end of the film hoping Chris will remember what he needs to do. I bought it sight unseen for $5 and I'm glad I did. If you run across it, watch it, you'll like it. Promise.

NBM rates The Lookout - Phenomenal


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Snakes on a Plane

When this movie starting being hyped in 2005 for it's 2006 release, it seemed to be the reinvention of the campfest films. I was stoked. The publicity it got, along with a pretty good song to coincide with its release by Cobra Starship, there was nothing that was gonna keep me from watching this movie the week it came out. The story revolves around a witness who is to testify against a bad guy. The bad guy can't have this happen, so he plants loads of venomous snakes on the airplane the witness is on. Unfortunately for the snakes Neville Flynn (Samuel Jackson) is the officer in charge on that specific plane. No one, not man nor beast can defeat Sam Jackson, and as soon as the world realizes this, then maybe they (everyone) will stop trying. As if the film didn't have enough going for it already, it was really well acted on a really good script. The comic relief was perfect, the action was awesome, the nudity was unexpected, but appreciated. When Neville has to describe what these snakes look like to an expert on the ground is funny, but when they wise up and start sending picture mails of the snakes and Neville is in the photos, Well, it's just classic. The A-Bomb and I were the only ones in the theater which sort of surprised me, but that gave us the freedom to shout uncontrollably at the screen for no reason at all. We had so much fun because the movie was presented exactly how it should have been. The producers did not try and make it something it wasn't. They actually spent lots of time on Fan message boards months before it was even released. They did this to find out exactly what the American public wanted. The Genius part of this was they took the fan's advice and actually did re-shoots of scenes with dialogue from these message boards. The one in particular was when Neville says, "I've had it with these mother effin snakes on this mother effin plane!!!!". That line was suggested on a message board. We knew it was coming and we stood up in our seats and shouted the line in unison with Sam Jackson himself. It was like the first interactive film ever made, and that's why it's brilliant, and that's why I love it. I wish producers put this much effort into making films more often, then they may not hear as much bitching about $10 movie tickets. This makes a movie more fun on a completely new level.

NBM rates Snakes on a Plane - Phenomenal

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The Sandlot

I come to you tonight with a heavy heart. I found out today that a friend of mine has unexpectedly passed. It is an absolute tragedy, and it has eaten at me all day. His name is Terry. Terry was a fan of this blog and my fan page and I appreciated everything he was about. He was an extremely genuine man and he will be missed. I do regret not knowing him better. Our jobs is how we met. He was a manager and I am a vendor. He's one of the few people who actually knew my name, and he always made a point to ask how everything was going, and what the rest of my day looked like. He just had an extremely genuine attitude about life, and the world is a little sadder without him. He seemed to be entering his prime and was taken from us way too early. I know Terry played softball, so this is a tribute to you big guy. I'm not sure if you liked The Sandlot, but I'm sure you did. How could you not? The Sandlot is a coming of age story told through America's past time, Baseball, and an instant American classic. A young boy named Scotty Smalls moves with his mother and stepfather to LA in 1962. Smalls as he is called, has to leave everything he knows, and he is not really happy until he is introduced the game of baseball. Was he a natural at this game? Not even close. He was a sad excuse for a ball player, but that did not deter Benny from continuing to try and help him fit in. Benny was the leader and the best ball player in the neighborhood. He had all the skills, while Smalls had none. He did the impossible. He turned Smalls into a real player. Not only did he give Smalls a reason to get up in the morning, but he formed bonds with these guys that changed his life. I love this film because I was that age when the movie came out. It's so relatable still today. The stupid crap we did as kids, like be afraid of "The Beast", a killer dog that eats people, and baseballs. The film quickly goes from light hearted to horrific instantly. When Benny busts the guts out of the ball, they can't play anymore....until Smalls speaks up and says he has a ball. When Smalls hits his first home run with the ball he just came back with (Big moment in a boys life) he loses his stepfathers Babe Ruth autographed ball to "The "Beast" and realizes this isn't even bittersweet. It's just damn vinegar in his mouth, and a punch to his gut. What's sad about it, is he knows he messed up, but he does not even know who Babe Ruth is. Once the guys explain it to him, it goes from bad to horrible. This is when the story turns the guys from team mates into a brotherhood of sorts. A brotherhood with one thing on their mind, getting that ball back from a creature as unrelenting as a Velociraptor. "The Beast" is said to have killed 173 men and these boys are not looking forward to pickling the beast, as they say. With several attempts and several failures later they start to become desperate, and then Benny shows his true self. A hero among boys. He buys a pair of PF Flyer shoes, which are guaranteed to make you run faster and jump higher. It turns into one of the most scary chase scenes ever to hit the cinema. It really is one of the greatest movies about growing up with your buddies that's ever been told. I know we all wish we could stay that age forever. Like I said earlier, I wish I had known you better. When I think about it now, you kind of had the same Mentality that Benny had. You didn't feel better than anyone, and you would help anyone who needed it. Terry, I hope you go to a place where you can play ball all day and all night if you want to. This one's for you. We will miss you. God Bless.

NBM rates The Sandlot - A Cinematic Work of Art

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The Runaways

Guest Post By Lisa.

When hubby asked me to do a review on the biopic, The Runaways, I was a little nervous. I did not know much about the band. The movie takes place from 1975-1977. It quickly shows the rise and fall of The Runaways, or the rise of Joan Jett (Kristen Stewart), and fall of Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning). The teenage girls were quickly thrown into stardom by their eccentric producer Kim Fowley (Michael Shannon), but unfortunately did not have their best interests at heart. With great success from their first single "Cherry Bomb", and their next 2 albums, Cherie lets the fame go to her head. After a hospital stay in Japan Cherie decides to leave the band, leaving Joan to salvage what was left. I would recommend the movie if your a fan of The Runaways. I did do a little research after the movie. I learned that the movie was based on a book "Neon Angel" written by Cherie Currie, and The Runaways was also the first all girl rock band to break into arena filling rock acts. I always new girls rocked.

NBM rates The Runaways - Neutral

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Away We Go

I knew this film would be great, but I had no idea the level of greatness it would reach. This is one the most endearing movies about a single couple I have ever seen. Released in 2009, it only made 9 million dollars, so I'm sure none of you have seen it. It follows a young couple on a journey through life. John Krasinski (Jim Halpert from TV's "The Office") and SNL's Maya Rudolph are a young couple who have been together for some time, and are more than likely life partners. They are unmarried, but not for reasons you may not think. It's way more in depth than that. One day they realize they are preggers. YEAHHHH! This leads them into the tormenting challenge of figuring out where they want to raise their family. They are perfectly happy where they are until his hippie, professor like parents decide to spend two years elsewhere. This change in plans leads them to change their plans. They begin going cross country to areas where they already have friends or family. They study every situation to decide who they would like to be near. The road trip aspect is hilarious in itself, but some of these people they have to spend time with will blow your mind. What I like about it is it feels real. The people and their characteristics seem very genuine and I'm sure we all know a few people like them. It was good to see Krasinski in a role very out of his normal realm. He nailed it both dramatically and comically. With great small performances by Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jim Gaffigan, and the always great Jeff Daniels, this movie turns into independent film gold. It is rated R for language, but I feel it had to be. Some of these situations called for strong language. Like I said, it felt real. The opening scene is a love scene of sorts, but not the traditional Hollywood style. More like the reality style. It's too funny to explain and would not come off as good in written form. This is a must see film. It is a quest for stability that takes them to a place so unexpected it's perfect. And remember, Strollers are the devil. To understand that line, go watch the movie. When trying to categorize this film I am torn between Romance and Comedy, and Romantic Comedy, but I don't think any of these really hits it. I am inventing a new category and it is called "Life Like"

NBM rates Away We Go - Phenomenal


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Super Troopers

I wrote it on the paper!

Two brilliant comedies in a row. It's too easy. Super troopers didn't even get a nationwide release back in 2002, but has had quite a cult following on DVD. It is probably the funniest cop movie out there. Hot Fuzz also comes to mind, but it also tries to play serious at times. This film never plays serious. Not even for a second. From the opening scene to the twist at the end, this film is chalk full of gut busters. Rod Farva may be the biggest ass ever put on screen ever. Funny enough, people like him really exist and we all know that guy. The guy who's never wrong, he's an incredible douche, and he doesn't care how old or young you may be, he will fight with you. The film follows a branch of Highway patrol made up of 5 cops plus the captain. Each cop has a different personality and it plays very well on screen. This particular branch is close to being shut down, budget reasons, but the real story is the hate/hate relationship the have with the city cops. The city cops are always on the highway patrols turf and they are tired of it. When a girl ends up dead on the highway, the two branches throw down for jurisdiction. Let's just say a pig is involved and humans are captured and traded for each other. When the threat of being shut down becomes imminent, all the HP start trying to figure out what they want to do. This leads to a very funny scene, involving nudity, with Ramathorne and his girlfriend. This is also the second movie in a row that uses the word shenanigans repeatedly. In this film it almost leads to a pistol whipping. Bullet Proof cup is one of the craziest visuals I can remember. There are so many life lessons in this film as well. I will list a few. There is no such thing as "Liter a cola." Lice hate powdered sugar. Snozzberries taste like snozzberries. Don't make nookie in the back of a cop car, you won't be able to get out. No one knows what nationality Ramathorne is, and Gigantic Cotton candies could get you beat up. This is top ten on my funny movies list. I don't see it getting bumped anytime soon. If you haven't seen, I envy you, because you will get to enjoy it for your very first time, not knowing what is going to happen next.

NBM rates Super Troopers - Phenomenal

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Waiting

Waiting is one of those comedies that only comes around every 15 years or so that changes the game. Sure, great comedies still come out, but movies like Waiting raise the bar. Without Waiting, we may never have gotten The Hangover. Think about that. This movie is brilliant in several aspects. It's a stupid inside look at the waitstaff and kitchen staff of a "Fridays-esq" restaurant called "Shenanigans", which was the original title of the film. Not many people know that, but Lisa and I saw a preview of it in the theater and it said coming to a theater near you this October, "Shenanigans." I don't know why they would change the name for the release, but they did. The realm of characters in the film is so vast, it's hard to get into, because I won't be able to stop. The wait staff is comprised of the ever great Ryan Reynolds. He plays Monty , the cockiest and best of all the waiters. The most uncomfortable scene in the whole film involves Monty and his Mother eating lunch together having a conversation about safe sex. It is quite unnerving, but so funny. His best friend, Dean (Justin Long) is lost in his life. The bus boys are a couple of "white teenage gangstas" who add some good comic scenes. Then there's Bishop. Bishop is a forty something black man who does nothing all day except to play counselor and shrink to any of the staff who needs advice. The movie is pretty cliche' up until the point that the greatest game ever invented is introduced. "The Penis Showing Game" (Rules listed above). The movie may be about Dean and his struggle with future life choices, but really it's about this hilarious game in which men try to surprise other men by showing their junk. It is the first film I remember seeing man parts on screen. Since Waiting, several movies have put pointless genitalia scenes in the middle of the film. Why? It's funny to look at, and it's shock humor. This was Ryan Reynolds breakout film as one of the sexiest funny men in Hollywood, and his career has continued to rise since this film. The entire film takes place over the course of 1 day. Who would think we could be entertained by a movie surrounding a restaurant wait staff? Whoever they were, they were correct. What was great about this was the involvement of the kitchen staff. Kitchen manager Raddimus (Luis Guzman) is hilarious. Not only did he start the game, but he convinces his girlfriend , way hotter than him, to have sex with him in the bathroom by saying three little words, "Come on baby". (Great scene. Does not work in reality.) This is Dane Cook's best movie, probably because he doesn't have many lines. (Seriously though, Mr. Brooks really shows that Dane Cook can act.) Not only is the movie comedic genius, but it teaches us a few things. That's right, it's a learning movie. It teaches us, A: Don't be a Bitch/Dick to the people who handle your food; B: Don't go to a restaurant 5 minutes before they close and order a three course meal; and C: Don't send your food back for any reason!!! After you watch this, you will think about it the first time you go out afterward. Before watching Waiting I had no intentions or thought of showing my man bits to anyone other than my wife. I still don't, but if I worked at a place with such a game, I must admit, I would most likely participate. I recently introduced this raunch fest to my mother in law and she LHAO throughout. These are the windows I open for people. Why do men only play this game? Watch and you'll see. In the end Dean realizes what he needs to do and the rest is just one big party involving underage girls, whippets, beer, and "The Goat." 

Quote of the film

Monty: How would you like your steak cooked?

Old Old Lady: Oh, I don't know. I just want a warm pink center.

Monty: Don't we all dear.


NBM rates Waiting - Phenomenal

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The Replacements

With the NFL season under way tonight, I am gonna talk about a film about Pro football. There really are no movies that revolve around the NFL because of the rights the NFL holds, so every movie about pro football all have different team names than in reality. If you can get past that most of these films are enjoyable, but the funniest one ever made has got to be The Replacements. Having absolutely no pre-conceived notions about this movie when I first saw it 8 years ago. Since then I have seen it 20 + times and it is more enjoyable every time.  It is the perfect combination of action, humor, and puking. What I love about this movie is how the owner of the Washington Sentinels put together these "has beens" to finish out the season, because they don't see the point in paying decent prospects to finish a season with now hope for reward. These players didn't make it the first time for a reason. Like, Clifford Franklin (Orlando Jones), is a speedster that may as well have stumps instead of hands. He is a wide receiver that doesn't make his first catch until he loads his palms with sticky glue. Oh man, you would have thought he was the best receiver of all time, especially listening to Clifford's post game interview. Then there's Gene Hackman. Having Gene in a film automatically gets it clout. Gene plays the replacement coach who personally recruits Collegiate All American, Sugar Bowl Failure Shane Falco (Keanu), now in his thirties and never played a single pro game, he jumps at the opportunity. The depth of characters is so vast and each character gets lots of screen time and a lot of back story. The bouncer brothers, the Welsh soccer player with a gambling problem, the sumo wrestler, the ex con, the strippers as cheerleaders, and the cop. Danny, the cop, played by Jon Favreau, is the funniest guy in the movie. He's all go, no quit, and intensely funny. Have you ever experienced intensely funny. You should. When these guys finally figure out the plan, they really come together to make a run at it. "It" being making the playoffs? Not even close. They just wanna get a couple "W's" in their brief professional career. I like the movie for what it is. A great look at what athletes would do for another shot at glory. With brilliant dialogue, good action, and a great bar fight scene, where Danny is slamming a guys head into the bar repeatedly screaming, "who's the man?" gets me every time. It quickly became a movie I couldn't pass up, and if you haven't seen this, get it, watch it, love it, and start quoting it. With the NFL in jeopardy of actually having a players strike next year, this movie really hits home. As crappy as a season with "scab" players would be, I would still watch every game, because I am a fan of the game, not necessarily the players. I hope it doesn't happen, but if it does, I am gonna campaign for The Tennessee Titans to sign up number 16 and get Shane Falco back on the field.

NBM rates The Replacements - Phenomenal

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Ratings System Updates

Last night me and my wife had a very in depth conversation (Argument) about how I rated the movie Killers. Apparently I need to a have a rating in between Neutral and Great. I tried to explain to her that most ratings systems deal with a total of 5 ratings. 1 star to 5 stars. I also stated in a demeaning voice, "I liked it, I give 3 out of a possible 7 stars" doesn't make sense, sounds weird. To which she argued that the number 5 is also an odd number. I replied that she was correct. The number 5 is not an even number. She looked at me with a question on her face. She then asked , "Well?" It makes more sense with 5. Why? she asked. I replied, "because its half of 10, and ten is even." Good was suggested, and I agreed there are definitely movies that could fall in that parameter. We fought about this for no good reason, but she was really offended by my actions/review.  Anyway, in the long standing tradition of never agreeing with ones wife, I read a comment posted on that particular review early this morning. It stated "blah blah blah, it was good, I liked it" So due to this perfect stranger opening my eyes and showing me the light I have now added a "Good" review to the options. Now there are a possible 6 ratings. 

Killers

Killers (on DVD this week) is one of the worst reviewed movies this year. At 12% on RT, I had to give it a shot. Here we go. Killers is 1/2 True Lies, 1/2 Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and 1/2 Grosse Point Blank. That's three halves of awesome movies and Killers just doesn't match up with any of those films. I do think it was miscast. I haven't figured out whether it was Ashton or Katherine, but one of them just felt wrong. What didn't feel wrong was the presence of Tom Selleck's mustache. Not only did it get one direct compliment, but two direct compliments, in a row. About time it got the recognition it deserves. I do believe Ashton and "the stache" had better on screen chemistry than him and Heigl. The most surprising thing in the movie was the cameo by Usher. Yep, THE USHER. He plays a K Mart employee, and it's not funny at all, but he was there. I do wish there would have been more laughs than there were, but there was a nice little twist near the end. I don't know if I'll watch it again, but I don't regret watching it. It cost me a buck and I can live with that. Basically Ashton is a CIA hit man that wants out when he falls in love. Eventually his past catches up with him and bad things happen. Same story, not as well told or acted as the three referenced at the top of the page, but nonetheless, I'm not gonna lose sleep over the fact that I watched it on a Wednesday night instead of Television. If you like Ashton and Katherine you will probably like Killers, if not, you may not.

NBM rates Killers - Neutral

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