In The Army Now

Don't cut too much. I'm kind of known for my hair.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the spirit of what my ultimate purpose is here at NBM, I've been ridiculed as of late for reviewing too many socially acceptable good movies. So, Dean-o, this one's for you big guy. In The Army Now is the lowest possible rating one can get on RT. Pauly has blessed us with such worldwide blockbusters as Encino Man, Bio-Dome, Jury Duty, and Son in Law. He always gets horrible reviews, but I don't mind his movies at all. I know for a fact I'm not the only one. When I told my wife what I was going to write about tonight, she laughed out loud at the thought of this brilliant comedy.  Usually my reviews are about growing up with certain movies, but I admit, I watch this movie every time it's on. Yes I did see it in the theater when I was 12, but that's besides the point. Bones (Shore) is the ultimate slacker, who contradicts his do nothing attitude by wanting to own his own electronics store. His right hand man/ best friend, "the biggest dick in Hollywood" Andy Dick, plays Jack. A completely unstable best friend who seems he could crack at any moment, and he never agrees with Bones' ideas, but always goes along with him. This is how they get enlisted in the Army reserves as water purification specialist, or "Waterboys" as they are called throughout the film. Bones is only concerned with opening his own store, so to raise capital they decide to enlist in the reserves to cash in the bonus that is handed out upon sign up. Bones has convinced Jack that it will only be one weekend a month, unless they get deployed. What are the odds that's going to happen? Pretty high I'd say. Why did they become waterboys? Bones' brother is a pool man, so it's just natural for him to work with water. Logical? Eh. Bones is not the brightest guy in the Army, but he is actually the brightest person in his squad. The squad is made up of him and Jack, along with superchick, Christine, (Lori Petty). Rounding out this Motley crew is the always funny, funnyman,  Fred Ostroff (David Alan Grier), who is actually a dentist, but can't conquer his fear of dentistry. When his crew is sent to Africa they must use all the knowledge that was taught to them in basic. Unfortunately they did not take that too seriously. Packed with funny scenes, this movie never gets old. From Jack running naked at a mirage to Bones killing a cobra and eating it. Good stuff all around. I wonder if Pauly would be as hated if he had launched his career today. By today, I mean, the comedies put out by Will Ferrell, Judd Apatow, and Todd Phillips. Maybe he is an artistic genius that just came onto the scene before anyone was ready to accept his humor. Although the waterboys are there to do one job, the Army quickly informs them, they are needed for much more. They are recruited to be full on combat soldiers. Awesome Dune buggies are airdropped for them, and all kinds of new equipments and gadgets. They must "laze" a target for the planes to blow up. This puts them in an uncomfortable position. Not the job, but the insurgents that try to kill them. When Bones tells his commanding officer to "Shut up", not once, but twice. It still gets my goose. A film that did not get a single positive review. WHAT? How could that be?  Short sightedness, that's how. Punk Critics who don't like stuff that is funny. Pauly may be a hero of mine, and I didn't even know it. He constantly been ripped apart, but kept making "crappy" movies for the fans. I said it. Fans. I'm a fan, you're a fan, and our offspring will be fans. Don't deny that, and don't deny In The Army Now. 

NBM rates In The Army Now - Awesome

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