Romancing the Stone

Great Scene, better humor.

Jack T. Colton may be the second coolest guy behind Indiana Jones. Another classic film I grew up on. What I love about Jack (Michael Douglas) was his unbelievably relaxed mentality about his life. He is a simple American living in South America, who wants nothing more than do deal with buying and selling birds. Birds? We find this out after a major shootout with Zolo, the police chief or general of sorts, and birds are not what we expected of Jack. Jack is roped into a no win situation when an American romance novelist, Joan Wilder, sometimes pronounced with a soft J (Yoan Wilder) ends up in Columbia looking for her sister. She is supposed to be heading to Cartagena, but by the time Jack finds her, she is hell and gone from Cartagena.  When Yoan’s sister is kidnapped, she is leveraged for a treasure map Joan possesses. Jack wants nothing to do with her, or her situation, until he realizes through their trek, they may actually be close to this treasure. Jack convinces her to find the treasure before hand. This way they have something to bargain with the kidnappers. One of the kidnappers is played by the brilliant Danny DeVito, who has a hilarious scene where he is at the station de policia and he notices his picture on the “Wanted” wall. Classic. Full of classic scenes and one liners, this movie never gets old (Watched it last night after after A-Bomb texted me a channel to turn to without telling what was on. This is how much I trust him. I will stop what I am doing to turn on my TV because he told me to.) The sarcasm of Jack is great, mostly because Joan is in such peril, and all he does is make jokes mostly at her expense. Little did he know how valuable she would become when they need a vehicle. Apparently South American drug lords love romance novels. This drug runner loves her so much he takes his “Little Pepe’ ”, and helps them escape the General, who is constantly pursuing them. Throughout his personal nightmare, Jack manages to have quite a few bright spots. He eats a snake, gets high on the biggest stash of unclaimed reefer he has ever seen, and falls for a lady he couldn’t stand earlier. Quite the adventurer, he ended up seeing more than he bargained for. General Zolo getting his arm bit off by the gator was awesome. The funniest line in the movie is based on Joan’s shoes. She is having trouble in the jungle in her Expensive High Heels. To which Jack lops the Heels off of them with a machete.


Joan:
“Those shoes are $200.00”
Jack:
“Now they're practical”  Sweet line Jack. In your face Joan Wilder. Sick Burn!


Jack is a man’s man. He’s good with a gun, quick on his feet, and quite the dancer, if he needs to be. He loves the adrenaline rush, as do I, having watched Romancing at least a hundred times in its 25 years.


NBM rates Romancing the Stone - Phenomenal


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Sixteen Candles

  Guest Post Authored by Lisa:

When my hubby asked me to review Sixteen Candles I was excited. It was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid, and most young girls can relate. The movie is over 20 years old, and Sixteen year old girls are still going through the same things. We will refer to those as the "awkward" years. As young girls, we are not happy with how we look, and we are conatantly trying to figure out where we belong. Sixteen Candles is a classic tale of an ordinary girl Samantha (Molly Ringwald) in love with the most popular guy in school Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling). Jake, of course, doesn't know she exists. We've all been there. He is dating the most beautiful girl in school. You all know the one. The girl who developed in all the right places, and guys fall all over themselves to talk to. Samantha is not only invisible to the hot guy, she is also invisible to her family. Her parents are so busy planning for her sisters wedding, they forget her 16th birthday. On top of it all she has to deal with her visiting grandparents. One set even brought a foreign exchange student, Long Duck Dong. She is noticed by one person, the geek (Anthony Michael Hall). He talks her into giving him her underwear so he could have a chance of fitting in. In the long run this turns out to be helpful in her meeting the guy of her dreams. I can still hear the song,"If you were here" , as the wedding crowd moves and she sees Jake standing there waiting for her with his awesome red Porsche. Then takes her to his house, where he has a cake for her. I'm still waiting for a birthday like that. You have to hand it to John Hughes. He made movies that would last through generations. I can't wait to watch this movies with my daughter.

NBM guest poster rates Sixteen Candles - Phenomenal


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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I wanna begin by saying I am a bit of an Indiana Jones fan. I have never anticipated a film opening like I did this one. I was only 7 when the Last Crusade came out, so this would be my first opportunity to see Indy crack the whip on the big screen. I love that Spielberg still shoots his films in 35mm, even though we are in a time when digital is king. Digital film is being shoved down our throats, and until Indy came out, we didn't have a choice. When I was eagerly standing in line, the Ticket seller kept pushing for people to wait an additional 15 minutes so they could watch it in digital. I opted for the brilliance of the 35mm print. When the movie started Me and my wife were the only two people in there. That blew my mind. The ticket seller successfully moved 100% of the movie goers into a theater with a sub standard print. What sucked was whoever put the film together didn't know what they were doing, and they left out an entire reel. (A reel consists of 20 minutes of footage). The reel that was missing was the climax of the film, so the film skipped the entire last sequence and headed right into the credits. This error caused me to have to switch theaters and finish the film in a gaudy digital display. It solidified that I was right, and my wife, who "didn't care either way" changed her mind as well. 35mm is king!!! Sitting there on the edge of my seat when the opening credits began I may have peed a little. I was that stoked about what was about to transpire. I was not even 1% disappointed in what I had seen. The film was awesome, and as the weeks went on, I was involved in several arguments trying to convince people how good it was. The majority hated it, and I didn't know why. Then after thinking about a while I got it. We all grew up on the original 3 films when we were young, and in this time and age of CG and Big sound, this film was very reminiscent of its 1980's predecessors. I think that's what I liked about, but everyone else lost their inner child and were not happy with how it turned out. It had everything Indy stands for. The whip, the action, the brief camp. It is awesome. Many people were upset about the alien/crystal skull aspect of the plot. Why? Probably because it sounds ridiculous. These people obviously didn't watch the History, Discovery, or TLC channels the entire month before it's release. These shows gave an actual history behind the crystal skulls. That's right, They do exist. 13 of them to be exact, and no two are alike. Spielberg did a great job of writing an original script with a bit of history behind it. The re-introduction of Marian Ravenwood and her son Mutt was a great addition to this film. Marian was such a badass in Raiders, so it made sense to bring her back. I liked John Hurt's character and Ray Winstone did a great job as Indy's right hand man. The comedy was good and not overdone, and I was glad someone, Mutt, finally questioned Indy as a teacher. I always found it funny no one ever asked that until now, and the answer Indy gives was delivered to perfection. I often watch the Crystal Skull and my wife asks why I watch it so much? I reply, "I've had 20 years to watch the other 3, and this one needs to catch up. Plus I find it entertaining, so get off my ass". It also did not disappoint on the re-delivery of an old favorite, "The Wilhelm Scream" (hit the link to hear). There was not a single second of this film I would want changed. It delivered for me personally 18 years after the 3rd film was released. The opening scene when we first see Indy, all we see is a silhouette shadow of him wearing his trusty fedora, and it was a genius way to deliver him back to the big screen. Not to mention, the Ark showed back up. Awesome!!! From beginning to end, it did exactly what it should've. It made me smile that day and every day I watch it. If you didn't enjoy it, I urge you to watch it again, and this time, while you are watching it, think back and remember why you love the Indiana Jones series and your perspective may be turned around. At least I hope so. Indy 5 is on the docket and it is going to revolve around the Bermuda triangle. LaBeuof, Ford, and Spielberg are all signed back on, and I hope they don't make us wait too long. As long as Harrison will dawn the fedora and crack the whip, I will be there, ready to pee my pants, and I will sit there in my dirty pee pants for the duration. 

NBM rates Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Phenomenal

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Top Gun

Top Gun is the classic love story about Maverick and Goose. They are a prime example of what hetero lifemates should be. They are always on the same page in life, unfortunately Maverick is a bit crazy when he is in a plane. When one of their fellow pilots ,"Cougar" turns in his wings, Mav and Goose get a very special invitation to the Top Gun flight school. Only the best of the best get invited. They feel they are the best, but the tremendous dickheads, Iceman with his partner Slider, probably really are the best. Competion ensues, and eventually Iceman murders Goose. (No Charges were filed, probably because he's pretty, and he may chomp his teeth at you to intimidate you). A film involving a school doesn't seem like it would be interesting, but when you add Fighter jets, Meg Ryan, motorcycles, and the Righteous Brothers, it'll change the way you think about school. I always think what my pilot name would be after I watch Top Gun. The names are so great, from the leader of the pack "Viper" and his right hand man "Jester". The funniest one is the black guy called "Sundown". Am I the only one who finds this hilarious? Then there's Merlin, played by Tim Robbins. I am no expert, but I don't think you could even fit into a cockpit if your 6'6". That is poor attention to detail by the casting department. I also think casting Kelly McGillis has the love interest was way misguided. She's ugly and Pete Mitchell is Tom Cruise for Gods sake. One last thing that disappointed me was when I googled the interstate highway system there was absolutely no Highway to any "Danger Zone". What a crock. It sounded so exciting. Other than that this film is superb. It involves every emotion possible. Excitement, love, grief, embarrassment, loss, and EXPLOSIONS. Is that an emotion? It should be. I don't care if your pattern is full , I am about to buzz your tower. I still remember the feeling I had after I saw this for the first time. From that point on, all I wanted to do was play beach volleyball. Nothing else mattered. That's what I got out of it. I feel I should mention the rest of the call names for you to know, "Hollywood", "Wolfman", "Stinger", "Chipper", "Sprawl", and "Air Boss Johnson". As for my name, they call me,"The Muffin Man".

NBM rates Top Gun - Phenomenal


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Secondhand Lions

This may be the greatest coming of age story ever told. This story revolves around a boy who is abandoned by his mother on his great uncles farm. He has never met these Uncles and they have never met him, but what are they to do? Hub (Duvall) contemplated just leaving him on the porch, but the more level headed brother, Garth (Caine) felt an obligation to this boy. As they state later on, It's not his fault she's his mother, or something to that effect. Once a rapport is developed between him and Hub and Garth, he begins to ask questions, as any 14 year old boy with no TV would. It was his inquisitiveness that leads to him learning about his Uncles' many adventures together, and the riches they have aquired. These are great stories, and he is always waiting to hear the next one. One day he asks Hub the wrong question about a subject he does not want to get into, and he now has to deal with Hub's bad attitude towards him. That doesn't stop him from finding out Hub's secret, a girl named Jasmine. Eventually the boys mother shows back up, and soon he realizes why he is actually there. There are rumors that Hub and Garth are sitting on boo-koos of $$$$. Unfortunately for the boy, this is all his mother and her new boyfriend care about. They tell him that his Uncles are criminals, and they stole that money. Their logic is, if they stole it, it's not actually theirs, so we should take it. This puts all kinds of doubts in the boys head about the character, and stories his Uncles have told him. He has been lied to his entire life and if his Uncles lied to him, he feels there is no hope for him to have a normal childhood. He doesn't care about the money, he just wants a better life experience. He knows the only way he gets a decent life is to stick by his Uncles, so he does just that. The movie does a great job of portraying what an abandoned 14 year old boy would be feeling, and also how some sixty something year old men would react to having to raise this kid they don't know. His Uncle Hub never really wants to stop adventuring and so he doesn't. Garth is more laid back and has planted several different crops in his personal garden to ease his mind, so he thinks. Without even knowing it's happening, this boy has brought new life to these old codgers. Eventually they realize the boy has saved them from growing old and boring. He has breathed life back into their souls, and they will come to appreciate it. I still remember how I felt the first time I was watching this. I couldn't believe how awesome it was, then again I cannot think of a film Robert Duvall has been in, that hasn't been great. This movie is a must own for yourself, but especially if you have kids. They will love it for their reasons, and you will love it for entirely different reasons.  One day I'd hoped I would have a son and my two brothers would be his adventurous Uncles always teaching him new things, unfortunately my brothers are both tremendous douche bags. So now I do have a son, and don't know what to do with him. Douchey, Douchey Brothers.

NBM rates Secondhand Lions - Phenomenal


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The Cooler

Here's a movie I bet most of you have never heard of, let alone seen. I've only seen it because I love the IFC channel. I've watched it a few times, and every time it entertains me. It has a really good seasoned cast featuring William H. Macy, Alec Baldwin, and the super lovely Maria Bello. I love the look of the film. It kind of seems like it's old but released in 2003 and set in current day Las Vegas it follows the ultra depressing life and career of Bernie Lootz (Macy). Bernie is an old school Vegas "Cooler". He is the type of person who wouldn't have any luck at all if it weren't for the abundance of bad luck he does have. Basically, casino owners would have these "coolers" who are people with such a negative energy about them, they can single handedly "cool down" a table that is winning, merely by betting a chip he takes out of his unlucky pocket with his unlucky hand, he is able to turn a table that is really hot to Ice cold, just that quickly. If his life doesn't suck enough, he has a deadbeat son, a hard ass for a boss, played by the intimidating Alec Baldwin, and no good luck in sight. Bernie finally meets someone (Bello) and with her at his side, his luck begins to turn, much to the annoyment of his boss. The particular casino he works for is rather old school. Shelly (Baldwin) runs it like the days of old, crackin skulls and breakin legs, if need be. Unfortunately one day before Bernie is going to retire, Shelly catches his piece o sh*t son cheating at the craps table. Bernie has no choice but to pay his sons debt with a numerous amount of his personal time, and his unfortunate skills, before Shelly hobbles his son in the casino basement. Even with the mentality we are born with, sometimes there comes a day when we say, enough is enough. Bernie is tired. Tired of being a loser, and having nothing to look forward to. One day he decides he is finished with this negative karma he has carried for the last 30 years, and he wants to change his path. With his new mentality, he refuses to lose, and he does it right in Shelly's face, betting and winning at the very tables he often cooled. Not by cheating, but by not caring anymore. Bernie is the lovable loser we root for in this great film. Does he come out on top? Watch and see. It is a short indie flick that does not disappoint.

NBM rates The Cooler - Awesome

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Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz may be the best buddy cop film ever. At first it is not portrayed as a buddy cop film, but essentially it turns into that. I was so geared up for this movie when it came out. Being such a huge fan of Shuan of the Dead, Thanks A-Bomb for that introduction, I couldn't wait for Hot Fuzz. It wasn't playing anywhere in my town so we loaded up and went to Nashville. A-Bomb, my Bro, my Wife, and myself decided to get a little tipsy before going. Then we decided what we needed with our popcorn was more beer. Good thing someone was wearing cargo pants. Once in the theater A-Bomb asked me to get him the BIGGEST popcorn they had. Little did he know, that turned out to be something equivalent to a 5 gallon bucket. He was so adament about not sharing his plethera of kernals, he ate the whole bucket out of spite. Jerk. I think his lips fell off from all the salt, but he didn't care, because he had an ice cold 2X4 to wash it all down. It was one fun ass night that we still reminisce about to this day. As for the movie itself, Hysterical. Nicolas Angel (Simon Pegg) is the top cop of London, but he gets "Promoted" by his department. His promotion details move him to a small village in the country, where he has trouble adapting. No more car chases, gun fights, or stabbings. Now his biggest issue is catching the swan that has escaped. British Comedy is so clever, if you blink, you may miss it. This is why lots of people do not like it. I love the repetativeness of the jokes. In a small village where townsfolk keep having deadly "accidents", Angel believes there's more to this. In his efforts to uncover a conspiracy, he becomes the target. This makes it sound very serious, but it's full of cheeky fun. This movie is loaded with so many jokes and gags, one must watch it at least 7 times to catch most of them. I watched it Saturday night for the 50th time and heard something i don't remeber ever hearing before. It's that brilliant. Angel, being the supercop, is constantly being riddled with questions from his Barney Fife-esque partner Danny (Nick Frost,(Ed from S o t D). Most of his queries are about action, or movies Angel has or has not seen. Most every question is answered with a NO! response, but by the end, they have done everything Danny has been asking about. A laugh riot from beginning to end, with phenomenal action. Fun Fact: Police officers are always pissed about cop movies, because the cops on screen never have any paperwork after all the explosions and busts that occur. Edgar Wright (Writer/Director) took that to heart, and with all of Angels busts we see him doing tons of paperwork. Hot Fuzz was the perfect follow up to Shaun, and myself along with all my buddies are anxiously waiting the next film these guys to together. Also the movie collection that Danny owns in the film is actually the property of 3 people including the director and his brother. Even for three people, this is massive collection. If you haven't seen HF, you will immediately know what I'm talking about when you see it in all it glory. Watch it, laugh out loud, then repeat.

NBM rates Hot Fuzz - Phenomenal

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Public Enemies

Public Enemies is an absolute blast. I mean, who out there does not enjoy a good gangster movie, let alone, one of a non fictional background? I saw it in the theater the day it came out and I've seen it 2 or 3 more times since its been out on DVD. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale on the same screen. I don't think it can be any better than that. From the very beginning to the absolute end, it never slows down, and it's set right in the middle of depression era America. Depp plays the infamous John Dillinger, while Bale portrays legendary lawman Melvin Purvis. Under the supervision of J.Edgar Hoover (Billy Crudup), Purvis is given complete authority to hunt down and capture America's most wanted criminals, Dead Or Alive. Preferably Dead.  Purvis is able to gun down Pretty Boy Floyd (Cameo by Channing Tatum)  at the beginning of the film, while Dillinger and a bunch of his associates are escaping a prison, from there on out its a non stop thrill ride. It follows Dillinger on the ride of his life. Robbing banks, hanging with buddies, evading the law, and falling in love. A great story, told by a great director, Michael Mann. Right away, Dillinger is dubbed Public Enemy #1, although Purvis runs into Baby Face Nelson before he ever lays eyes on Dillinger. I love the era of the film, and the way it is shot is brilliant. I don't know why it didn't get more recognition, but it definitely deserved more than it got. There is some very interesting history behind the movie, aside from the actual history. A suitcase of Dillinger's was kept in a museum for several years. It was obtained when Dillinger had to leave his hidey hole in a hurry. It contained clothes and a suit of Dillinger's. The suit fit Depp perfectly and he wore it through much of the film. Also, the house that the big shootout takes place in was the actual house it took place in. The film crew filled all the historical bullett holes with squibs and puttied them up, so that during the shoot the actual bullet holes would reveal themselves in the exact location once again. Talk about recreating history. The film follows the Dillinger/ Purvis relationship throughout with sub plots including Baby Face Nelson and several members of Dillingers gang. It turns really fun when Baby Face and Dillinger team up, and we get to see how crazy Baby Face actually was.  Depp and Bale do not share much screen time which is a shame, but at the same time it would have ridiculous if Purvis and Dillinger were always together, but Purvis couldn't capture him, (because he loved him so much). Not the case. Make no mistake about it, these two did not like each other. Dillinger was elusive and charismatic, both with cops and the media. Purvis was a no B.S. lawman with one thing on his mind, catching bad guys or, busting punks, as it's called today. Acted to perfection with a supporting cast that includes Giovanni Ribisi, Stephen Dorff, the guy who played Tommy in Snatch, and The Bad Ass Colonel from Avatar, Stephen Lang. There is nothing wrong with any part of this movie, even the music is awesome. It'll get your feet a tappin'. Purvis was the best at what he did, and eventually all that killing caught up with him, mentally. In the early 1930's Purvis was the government's top G-Man, capturing or killing most, or all, of AMERICA'S MOST WANTED,  but in 1960 he committed suicide. There is a lot of speculation surrounding his death, but ultimately it was determined he shot himself. With all the action, shooting, jailbreaks, and the presence of the baddest looking gun in history, The Tommy gun, this film is so much fun, and because it historical, we get to learn something about criminals and lawmen of the 1930's. I hope you watch it and I know you'll enjoy.

NBM rates Public Enemies - Phenomenal

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The Amateurs

This is probably one of the greatest "straight to Encore movie channel" features ever. This Film caught my attention solely because of the presence of the Dude himself, Jeff Bridges. The movie follows a small town trying to get their town on the map, so to say. They, as a group of townfolk, vote on and decide to film a porno. They thought that if they filmed a porno featuring the towns people, they would all become rich and famous. The people directly involved must watch multiple pornographic films in order to enhance their knowledge of what they must do to produce their film. This, in and of itself, is hilarious. With all this new info on porno, our characters start writing a plot, that involves several different situations, (girl on girl, Interracial, blah blah blah.) It is enjoyable to watch as these guys try and round up locals who would actually want to be in this budget porno. (The picture posted is from the scene where the Black men are stereotyped by the producers to be "HUGE". When they are not what was expected, problems arise. No Pun intended.) What I really liked about this film is the sincerity of the people. They really want to be successful, and they feel this is the best avenue to reach that. What they don't realise is the orchestration that is necessary to pull off a major production. It is supported by a phenomenal cast featuring Tim Blake Nelson, Joey Pants, and that chick from the Gilmore Girls TV show. Not to mention the great Ted Danson. (Ted was great in Cheers, we all know that, but if you haven't seen him as the Playboy Magazine owner in HBO's "Bored to Death", then you have not seen the best of Ted. Netflix season one and tune in for the upcoming season two. Trust me.) What The Amateurs turns into is a generally endearing look how close small towns can be. How great your friends should be, and how life, although sometimes hectic and unpredictable, will work out for the good guys, as long as you put forth your best effort. A grade A comedy that no one saw. I hope you come across it and decide to watch it.

NBM Rates The Amateurs - Great

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9

You may not know this about me, but I absolutely love cartoons. From children's cartoons to cartoons more geared towards adults. I just love the aspect and the possibilities animation brings to the screen. Plus when it's an animated film, we don't have to have the conversations and arguments about the CG. This film won the Oscar for Best short film the year before it got turned into a full length feature. People who didn't know this, made statements like, "it should've been over in ten minutes", to which I say, "it originally was".  I saw it in the theater and it was one of the most visually stunning films I've ever seen. The sound, the color and the action is unmatched when it comes to other animated films I've seen. It could've been wrapped up quickly, but it was extended to a short 1 hour 19 minutes. It features 9  "sock puppets" who are created by a scientist to exist in a post apocalyptic world much like the Terminator series. Machines have taken over the planet and destroyed all life, human and animal. The sock puppets are even considered "life" to these machines, so without even knowing why they exist, they know, they must survive. It's a classic story of survival, and the entire time we root for the little fellas. Voiced by an all star cast, these 9 little guys have a community, where leadership has been established. #1, as he is called, is the oldest and he is pretty much the ruler over the other 8. Each puppet possesses different traits, and when they work together, things can be accomplished. The "heart" these guys show really comes across, and with every second they are in peril, I was on the edge of my seat. Produced by the always brilliant Tim Burton, this film is definitely worth owning. I don't own it, because I do not have a Blu Ray player. I think this would be best film ever put on Blu Ray, and it will be my first movie purchased once I get my B R player. I back this film up 100% and if you like movies that are a little different, compared to the norm, you will enjoy this film. It' short and quick and can easily be watched more than once.

NBM rates 9- Awesome

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Stranger Than Fiction

 

Let me start by saying, I feel this is Will Ferrell's best movie. I am a huge Will Ferrell fan, and I realize, people either love him or hate him. There is no in between. I enjoy his stupid , vulgar style of comedy, yet my brother can't stand the very sight of him. Most of his movies are fueled by 3rd grade humor, featuring dick jokes and licking white dog s***.  Him and Adam Mckay really take that immaturity to a whole new level with their writing, but it puts butts in the seats and that is what they care about. The reason I stated that this is his best movie is because it added something new to his repertoire, acting! It really showed he has much more to offer than the person we have all seen every film over since his turn as "Frank The Tank" in Old School. After months/years of trying to talk my brother into watching a movie featuring an actor he literally hates, he gave in. Guess what? He loved it, and now, because of one performance, his entire view of Ferrell is forever changed, for the better. That being said, lets talk about this movie that most people haven't seen or even heard of. Ferrell plays Harold Crick, IRS agent extraordinaire, who begins to hear a voice narrating his every move. Not every move as he does it, but before he does it. He is a bit of an obsessive compulsive when it comes to the order of his life. He is the only one who hears this voice and he looks a bit crazy, as he tries to talk back to it in very public places. If that isn't bad enough, his next audit is a woman who is an absolute ball buster played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. She is so anti-gov't, she is nothing but a royal pain in his butt. Crick, however, is the most polite, endearing man anyone would want, if the circumstances were different. Then the day comes when the voice speaks of is imminent death. That's when it turns from interesting to pure genius. What would you do if you knew were going to die very soon? Hopefully, you would do what Harold does, and start living life to the fullest. He does his job better, he picks up a guitar and learned to play, and he begins a relationship with Miss Pascall (Gyllenhaal). Crick figures the "voice" knows so much about him, it must be correct with its proclamation of his earthly departure. At this point, Crick enlists the help of a local University Professor, played by the always brilliant Dustin Hoffman. Hesitant at first, Hoffman says there is nothing he can do, until Crick said the "voice" said the phrase "little did he know". That entire scene about the choices we make and change based on a little bit of information hit the nail on the head. We get to see Crick hit rock bottom and climb his way out of his own personal hell, and Ferrell plays it geniusly. I was surprised the first time I saw this film that I hadn't met anyone who had seen it. With this cast, and this awesomely smart and witty plot, word of mouth should have skyrocketed it in cult status, but it is still being overlooked, sitting on the video shelves for $5. I paid twice that for my copy after I had seen it half a dozen times. The opening scene will have you enthralled, guaranteed. Plus as an added bonus, "The Sonic Guys" are also IRS agents we get to see a few times throughout. It's funny, they even get cast in films as a pair. So, If you love Will Ferrell, go buy this film, and if you hate, and despise Will Ferrell, go watch this film. Watch it openly and honestly and I promise you won't be disappointed. I'm going to keep on spreading the word, as you will too I am sure. I don't know whether to categorize this a Comedy or Drama, because I think it teeters that line. Maybe we will call Dark Comedy.

NBM rates Stranger Than Fiction as A Cinematic Work of Art


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Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lighting Thief. Long name, amazing results.
This movie blew me away, especially considering I had absolutely no ambition to ever watch it. I remember making fun of the movie after seeing the trailer for the first time during the opening of Avatar. It looked like a ridicious attempt to grasp both children and adults. Funny thing is, it worked! A-Bomb asked if I wanted to watch it and since I will watch anything that I don't have to pay for, we sat down and absolutely were engulfed within the first twenty minutes. I actually wanted to own it that soon into it. Percy finds out early on in the film that he is a Demi-god. (Half god, half human). He is the son of Poseidon (god of the sea's). This is why Percy has certain powers over water, which comes in handy later on. Having watched Clash of the Titans last night, I must say Percy was much more entertaining, and it flowed better. The young kids in Percy are on a mission to find Zeus' lightning bolt, which was stolen. Percy is being accused of the theft and must prove he didn't do it, before Zeus rains down on everyone. This film really took me back to 8th grade mythology and I was constantly remembering the characters and how much I had enjoyed it. The acting was great, with mature actors such as Pierce Brosnan, and Joey "Pants", along with Katherine Keener as Percy's mom. What I could not get past , was how flipping good the CG was. It was flawless. Medusa's head of snakes, to the giant Minotaur, and the outstanding scene, shot in Nashville, featuring the Hydra. It was intense. If you are not sure what some of these creatures are, go and watch the movie. Sean Bean as Zeus was funny to me, since he usually plays the bad guy in most films, whereas the dude who played Poseidon (Greys Anatomy's sexy Irish redhead doctor) had the most compassion for the humans, especially his son. Then we meet Hades, ruler of the underworld, played by Steve Coogan? Don't get me wrong, I love Coogan (Hamlet 2) I just don't know how he landed that part, but he did it well. Steve is sort of known for his British, off the cuff, mostly vulgar style of humor. I never pictured him as such a powerful character as Hades is, but he pulled it off. There are too many characters to mention, but watch it and enjoy it for what it is. A great film. A Bomb watched it again the very next day, and I would have , but I was busy. I will own this film, and I will show it to my kids. I don't know how much it intrigues the ladies out there, but for men, it's an absolute blast.
The AP liked it, but my wife said "Ugh, that sounds stupid!"
To which I replied, "I know you are, but what am I?"

NBM rates Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief - Phenomenal


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The Princess Bride

This is a very special review that I would like to dedicate to the lovely Stacey S. That's too obvious, we'll call her S. Smetana. First off I would like to say that Stacey HAS NOT scene this film. I will try to be discreet with my references, because I do not want to give it all away. I really hope I can convince her to watch it with my astounding review. This movie is easily in my Top 20 movies you must watch before you die category. If you've seen it, you already know why.This is considered a Fairy tale, but it is so much more than that. It is narrated by the wonderful Peter Falk, as he reads the story aloud to his ailing grandson, played by Fred Savage. It is a great story based on "Wuv, twu wuv." It has so many aspects and characters stuffed into one movie, yet it is not at all convoluted. It follows the young Westley, who loves the dashing Buttercup, (Robin Wright's first role ever) and the struggles they face as the news reaches her of her Loves demise. The real fun begins when The Dread Pirate Roberts,  accused of killing Westley, Comes to rescue Buttercup from her kidnappers. The Dread Pirate Roberts must face the 3 villainous kidnappers who travel together to get back Buttercup, and keep her safe. Fezzik The Giant, (Andre the Giant), the swordsman, Inigo Montoya, and The Sicilian who can't be outsmarted.(INCONCEIVABLE!! You know what tone I said that in my head just now, don't you?) Each one he faces individually, and each battle, whether physical or mental, brings so much humor and action to the screen.  The Giant has a strange mentality towards good sportsmanship when battling the Man in Black, and the swordsman sole journey through life is find the 6 fingered man who killed his father. This movie introduces us to the fire swamp, full of flame burst from the ground, sink holes disguised by sand, and an angry population of ROUS'. When I was in 7th grade, my drama teacher proclaimed that the sword fight between the Man in Black, aka The Dread Pirate Roberts, aka Westley, and Inigo Montoya was one of the best sword fights in the history of cinema, both for its physicality and its choreography. Every time I watch it, I can't help but to think about that and to this day I compare every sword fight to that one. The Sicilian doesn't have a whole lot a back story, except for the fact he is a self proclaimed genius, which turns into one hilarious dialogue driven scene, unfortunately he does not have a strong threshold for Iocane powder. Billy Crystal, in loads of make-up, explains the different levels of "dead" (Hilarious), and soon enough everyone's enemy becomes the evil Prince Humperdink, Buttercups Fiance'. Alliance's are altered, plans are put in place, and eventually it comes down to Prince Humperdink and The Dread Pirate Roberts as they decide to fight to the "Pain". So many classic characters, classic lines, and visually stunning visuals. Will twu wuv conquer all? I sure hope so. This is another one of those movies that I cannot pass up if its on TV. I must finish it, whether it just came on, or its about to get over. I have probably seen it over a hundred times in its 23 year existence. (That's over 4 times per year) As for you, Mrs. Stacey, I am asking you personally to devote 1 hour and 38 minutes to this film. No excuses. All I need you to say is," As You Wish". 

 

NBM rates The Princess Bride as A Work of Cinematic Art. Thank You Rob Reiner for bringing this to us 23 years ago.

P.S. Be sure to scroll all the way to the bottom of the post.  

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The Notebook

Here's another one for my lady friends out there in blog land. The Notebook may be one of the greatest love stories ever to be adapted, even more so than Han and Leia. Not a better movie than Star Wars, but a better love connection. Classic story of poor boy meets rich girl, and won't leave her alone, no matter how pretentious she acts, until she agrees to go on one date with him. Unfortunately for Noah (Ryan Gosling) it can only last through the summer, so in Ally's mind it was nothing but a short term fling, but for Noah it would never end. (Not in a creepy stalker way, either). He did what he set out to do, and made her fall madly in love with him, much to the dismay of her parents. This story has been done a hundred times over, but there's something in the way that this one is delivered that really grabbed me. Yes I know, its a chick flick, but there is no shame in believing in the power of love, and enjoying it along the way (plus it had a pretty steamy scene, enjoyed by all). The title characters have to fight through much adversity. Many things come between them. Noah goes off to war, Ally becomes a nurse, they fall away from one another, and she becomes engaged to a war "Hero" with lots of "Old " money, as they say. her parents are thrilled, but there is a little part of her that wonders, what if it had ended up differently. Noah, on the other hand, never gave up on her. I mean, he wasn't celibate, by no means, but no girl he was ever with was Ally, and that was and would always be his mentality. He also grew one killer beard that I am envious of still today. It also feels real to me, how they hate each other, fight like dogs, and then kiss and make up. That's how life and love work, there's no perfection. It's my wife's number one movie, and when she watches it, I don't mind to sit down and watch it along side her. To this day it is still very entertaining. Anyone who has ever been in love, or lost their loved one will enjoy this nostalgic film. It takes place mostly post WWII, which is a great time period to set a movie in. There is something so unique about that time period, that I enjoy watching. With a great supporting cast featuring James Garner (Jim Rockford), James Marsden (Cyclops), and Kevin Connolly (Entourage's "E") this film rounds out nicely. Does it end the way it should? Watch it and make your own decision. If you are a dude, and think you shouldn't watch this movie, I say, Man up. It should be seen at least once by everyone. Just my opinion.
NBM rates The Notebook- Phenomenal

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Twilight

The Twilight Project: Review #1
Over the next couple months, I am going to have a few different people submit their reviews of Twilight. 4 or 5 perspectives should be really interesting. From the females who read the books to males who had no interest in the movie, but watched it on Encore, because nothing else was on. Here we begin...

I thought maybe I should switch gears tonight. All I have been talking about are action movies with my Expendables week. Now I want to give the ladies something they may be able to show their boyfriends to get them to watch the Twilight movies. Although they are not sorely intended for a mature audiences, like Interview, Bram Stokers, and The Underworld trilogy, they are enjoyable nonetheless. Vampires have always had certain rules about the way they must live. No Sun is the big one. In The Twilight movies, the Vamps can go into sunlight with no repercussion other than it makes their skin shiny, like diamonds. I like what Stephenie Meyer did with this series. She sort of reinvented vampires as we know it. It is set in high school, so right there, everyone can relate. It's really no different than any other high school movie you may enjoy. The only difference is the love interest happens to involve a dude name Edward Cullen, Vampire, and a chick named Bella Swan, Human. Unless you've been living in a cave the past 3 years, I'm sure you know whats going on. Team Edward (Vamps) and Team Jacob (Cradle Robbers), just kidding, actually he is a shape shifter. Don't say werewolves! I got my head bitten off by a lady we call THE AP. She informed me that they are referred to as shape shifters, not werewolves. My response, "I don't care!" Anyway, 80% of the female population is Team Edward, which I do not understand. If this movie were out when I was in high school, I could've dug that. The Tall, skinny, lanky, pale white boy has any chick he wants. That was and is not reality. Woman have always said they want Tall, dark, and handsome. I've never heard a woman say, "I'll go out with him as long as he is pasty, and has a skin disorder that makes him SHINY" If that was the way of the world, I would have had to beat them off with a stick during my youth. Whenever I compare my body and skin tone to that of Edward to a group full of women, they laugh. Are they that blinded by this fictional character? I say, YES. Stephenie Meyer changed things for Teenie bopper girls to 65 year old grannies and I can dig that. She also opened up a whole new "Fad". Everywhere we look, there's something to do with Vampires. From TV shows, to movie spoofs, it's all out there. Did I enjoy the movie? Sure I did. It was a good movie. I didn't see it til it was on video, but I enjoyed it just the same. By no means am I a "Twi-hard", I'm not even a "Twi-soft". I'm more like a "Twi-Indifferent". I just watch movies, and I can easily rate this movie, which I am sure I will receive hate mail, but NBM gives Twilight a rating of - Awesome 




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Terminal Velocity

Terminal Velocity was a wild ride. From the sweet cars, to the parachute scenes, plus the KG used to B (great line). So much fun to watch. I watch it often and have memorized every line without even trying. Classic lines, good action, and Ditch Brody. I could not believe how low rated the movie was (RT). Ditch spends his whole life being reckless, looking for the next thrill ride, and regretting his past career as an Olympic gymnast. He gets put into an uncomfortable place when he has to protect a the woman for who he saw die as one of his students at the jump academy. Fooled him. He drives a BA Dodge Challenger which, sadly, gets blown up, but that doesn't deter him from his mission. He must help his lady friend stop the Russian Mafia from stealing loads of Russian gold. Along the way he has to protect his man bits with his always trusty "coffee-tron dick defender", just in case it turns out to be a nuclear thing. The perfectly placed humor and non stop trouble, it turns into one heck of a thrill ride. I saw this movie in the theater, waiting for what my brother called "the car scene". When Ditch stole the corvette, I thought that was it. Nope. What he was speaking of was one of the coolest scenes ever. A Cadillac Allante , a 4.6 liter Northstar V8, An American collectible classic, was hurled out of an airplane at high altitude. On it's way down to earth, Ditch has to get his woman out of the trunk, get her into tandem mode (finally), and land safely on the ground. It was intense, and superbly shot. It was very cool, and it seems to be over, but "Tony Soprano" has one last fight scene with Ditch. The scene actually leading up to that scene was fun too. Chuck, an off duty pilot,  is duped to swear in as an FAA agent in order to assist Ditch in a stupid stunt to get him on the KGB's plane. Flippin Awesome! Like I said before, the action never slows, and as the plot thickens, it winds up nicely. Point Break, another skydiving flick, came out 3 years earlier and was raved about. That, I don't get. Both are very enjoyable, while Point Break is FX's movie of the week, every week, for 52 straight weeks, Terminal gets no recognition. That's what I'd like to see change. 

NBM rates Terminal Velocity- Awesome

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The Expendables

I guess the question is, did it live up to expectations? Abso-freakin-lutley! I was as giddy as a school girl this morning waiting on 12:10 to roll around. It was a great day. I have not been this anxious for a movie since Indiana Jones 4 came out 2 years ago. From the moment it started, it was adrenaline fueled, with great action sequences, awesome choreography, sweet weaponry, and lots of killing.
It was good to see Dolph get the first kill of the film, and what a kill it was. Was the film a bit of an overkill? Yes. Isn't that what we want? The opening scene was great, but it just kept getting better as the minutes rolled away. I know it had to end, but I didn't want it to. I was so amped up when it was over, I was physically sore. No lie. When I got up to leave the theater my legs hurt. That should be a tagline for the film. "So awesome, it'll make your legs hurt" Just a thought. Not too long into it, there it was, right in front of everyone. The Terminator, Rocky, and John McClane. As awesome as that was, that particular visual paled in comparison to one of the coolest things I have ever seen on the screen. Jason Statham outside the nose of the plane lighting up the bad guys on the docks. I've never seen anything so cool. I feel it was real. No CG involved. Big time explosions, death and mayhem. Stallone really directed a masterpiece. It was exactly as it should be. I read that he was trying to write it as a comedy, but that proved entirely too difficult. He did the next best thing putting together this phenomenal cast and giving all us movie lovers a throwback, 80's bang bang, shootemup flick. It never got slow or boring. It only got better, and bloodier (Digital blood, mind you) but still the same. I'm glad he went for the hard R rating, because it would not have punched as hard with a lesser rating. As good as the action was, the dialogue and sub-stories were really good as well. All these guys battle demons throughout, some more than others, but the Monologue Mickey Roarke had with Sly was great. Even with all that talking it still never slowed. Another thing I really enjoyed was when Stone Cold got pitted against Couture. Wrestler VS. MMA. It was fun to watch. Statham was the knife specialist and it was awesome how many peeps he destroyed with the blade, both throwing and sticking. The wide spread of weapons used never got old. The old timer of the group, Sly, was attached to old faithful which was an old school 6 shooter. Whereas Terry Crews introduced some NOISE late in the film which caused the entire theater to bust out laughing. Jet Li brought a lot of comedic relief, while  Statham's sub-story was the most enjoyable to watch. I was stoked to see The Expendables take the top spot at the Box Office this weekend hauling in an impressive $35 mil. It only cost $85 Mil to make, so needless to say a sequel should be imminent. God I hope so. Sly has said he has already began work on one, and with this strong of an opening, it shouldn't be a problem getting it greenlit. I am curious about the final body count. It seemed like the bad guys just kept coming and the final scene seemed to last 20 minutes. OK with me and my cohorts. The overall attitude of the people in the theater seemed positive which, hopefully, relates to more big numbers at the Box Office. I literally could've stayed in my seat and watched it again. Not a lot of movies make me feel that way. I'm so geared up, even though it's been hours. I can't get it out of my head. I want Sly's truck, I want the bikes, I may even get an Expendables Tattoo(I just don't know if there's enough time). That's how great it is. An instant classic, Cult Classic that is. I will own it the day it hits DVD and I will probably watch it multiple times the week I get it. Plus it has one of the coolest movie posters ever. A skull, with what appears to be angel wings. Upon further inspection, the wings are made up of blades and guns. I will also buy that poster to put in my garage. A poster that cool doesn't belong inside the house. It should only hang in such a testosterone filled place like MANLAND! I have a feeling if it was hung inside, the paint would immediately start running down the wall just to get away from it. It's that powerful. 
   This one is a no brainer. NBM rating- Phenomenal.


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Masters of the Universe

The Expendables: Day 6

By The Power of Greyskull, I had a good time watching this 1987 release featuring The Expendables star Dolph Lundgren. Of course, if I had seen it for the first time ever last night, it probably wouldn't have been as great to me, but having grown up with it, I was really taken back to that time in my life. I think this is the lowest rated film I have reviewed so far. Sitting at 13% on RT, not many people gave it a positive review. I, on the other hand, enjoy watching movies I grew up on. With all the crappy CG, and the bad sound editing. None of that matters, because it was as enjoyable as it ever was. Sucks there was no green tiger though. I would have liked them to have had at least one scene with that awesome tiger. It wouldn't have been hard. A little paper mache', some paint. All he had to be was a prop in the background on the planet of Eternia. Other than that one miss, Dolph wore the crap out of that cape, did he not? I also remember how scared I used to get at the site of Skeletor's bounty hunters. The creepy short, ghoulies type fellow, with the flowing pompadour and bad teeth used to freak me out. Karg, I think was his name,kind of still does. Courtney Cox couldn't have asked for a better big screen debut. What a career launcher that turned out to be. She really rocked the denim jacket/skirt combo well. What I couldn't get past was, if let's say, they had a million dollar budget to film Masters, then I'd say they spent half of that budget on Skeletor. He was awesome looking. I may be biased on the subject of He-Man, but I am willing to bet there are a lot of you all that feel the same way. I decided to post this picture, because growing up, the green tiger with orange stripes and no moving parts was my favorite toy. Will I ever watch it again?

Absolutley! I'm sure one day my boy will wanna see it and I will oblige him.

Masters of the Universe NBM rating of -Great 

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Terminator Salvation

The Expendables: Day 5

Some of you may be wondering who the common factor between Terminator Salvation and The Expendables is. You had to really pay attention to Terminator to notice him, because unfortunately he dies really early in the film. I'm talking about Terry Crews. (Hit the link to watch his hilarious Old Spice commercials). He is a large black man who used to be an NFLer, but now lends his bulky body not only to action films, but he is also quite the funny man in several comedies. He has great screen presence for someone with no formal acting lessons. You may remember him from the comedy Benchwarmers with Rob Schneider. He wore a hilarious Blonde Toupe' to hide his bald head. Anyway, Terminator Salvation is an awesome movie. I can't beleieve it was rated the lowest among the 4 films, even the 3rd one, which I like, but not as much as this one. I actually find Salvation more enjoyable than The original (I know, I'm a Blasphemist) and the 3rd one. Judgement Day will always be the tops to me. Christian Bale did a phenomenal job being the so called "Savior" of the human race after Skynet launched and Judgement day left very few people on earth. I really like how McG directed Salvation. The action and the new Terminators we are introduced to was neat because Skynet hadn't yet launched the T-800 series made famous by Arnold. We got to see clunkier early versions for most of the film, only to get an all digital Avatar, if you will, of Arnold's face and body on the brand new T-800. It was cool to see the look on John Connor's face when he first saw his one time protector roll out of the steam of the engineering department trying to kill him. I also really enjoyed the Kyle Reese character. He has not been more than a memory in the 2nd and 3rd films. It was nice to see what kind of warrior he was, and to see him meet his son, who is older than him at the time. Of course, he doesn't know he is Connor's father, but Connor is well aware he cannot let anything happen to his, then teenage, father.  I am a little upset though to know this was supposed to be the first movie in an all "War with the Machines" trilogy, only to find out no one wants to fund the two sequels, which Bale is contracted for. Now we lay in wait while the Terminator series is actually on the auction block. I was immediately looking forward to the next film the moment the credits rolled on Salvation. When it first got a PG-13 rating, I was confused, because it was supposed to be very dark. I then came to the realisation that machines don't have blood, therefore there could lots of death and destruction without warranting an R rating. I was not disappointed in the least. I was worried going into the movie that I had built it up to much in my head and it couldn't live up to my expectations. In fact it exceeded, which isn't hard with me, but well appreciated. I hope it does return for 2 more movies and I will be there. As for Terry Crews, I hope he has a bigger part in The Expendables, because he is an awesome actor. I have enjoyed everything he is in, and look forward to the intensity he is bound to continue to bring to the silver screen. I predict that one day he will get the lead role in a big movie like Danny Trejo finally got in the upcoming "Machete" after years of being a character actor.
NBM gives this film a rating of Phenomenal

Here is proof that Terry Crews was in Terminator Salvation. That's him on the right talking with Bale and Director McG.




















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