Piranha

Easily the bloodiest movie I have ever seen. If you don't like blood, real or fake, don't watch this film. The opening credits provided the audience with two things. A very special cameo by Matt Hooper (real fan boys will get that reference), followed by the absolute worst CG scenery I have ever seen. It was even bad for a TV movie, let alone a movie that went first run, did well, and had star power. It follows the same page as Jaws, with the whole, "don't go in the water", but where Jaws was taken seriously, Piranha (2D as we watched it) was laughable. Did I enjoy it? Fo Sho. What wasn't to like? The director and writers found all new ways to kill spring breakers trying to escape the tiny yet brutal teeth of a prehistoric Piranha pack that were released through an underwater earthquake. They are instinctive hunters who live on the flesh of hot twenty somethings trying to have a drunken good time. Elisabeth Shue comes out of retirement for this little gem of a movie, while Ving Rhames was just glad to get a call back. They play the local law enforcement who try and contain the amount of death once they have a clear understanding of what's happening. Adam Scott shows up to investigate the underwater quake and he and his team of divers are the ones that discover first hand the Piranha infestation, unfortunately these fish are hungry and the bright yellow suits are easy to track in the murky water. Jerry O'Connell is a dick film producer who makes a "Girls Gone Wild" type of series and he hires Elisabeth Shue's son to show them around the local hot spots for him to shoot his nudie film. The visuals of body parts and extremities wiggling about with no skin or muscle is something I have never seen, and the film did a good job of making me realize by seeing those images how badly that would probably hurt. Way worse than a paper cut I would think. I have often heard the term "blood bath", well I can tell you nothing has ever been accurately described as a blood bath unless it was this film being talked about. It's short at only an hour 22 minutes, but it's a fun watch. It's got both graphic death scenes and graphic nudity, so viewer beware. I also really liked seeing Christopher Lloyd back on screen. He did make a great 1 episode cameo for the TV series Fringe, and seeing him in Piranha really makes me wish he would take more roles.


NBM rates Piranha - Great