The Punisher

I really wanted to do this version of The Punisher for Marvel week. I don't want to take away from Dolph, but this one is better, and as I have not seen "War zone", so this is what's left. Good thing though. War zone made me mad. All the Thomas Jane drama, then he was no longer attached to it, then it seemed like it was thrown together and rushed to theaters. I thought Thomas Jane played Frank Castle really well, but at the same time, by 2004 when it was released we had already been given X-Men and X2, Spiderman, and Blade. With that said I wish The Punisher had been given a good budget. It still felt more on the cheesy 1990's style as opposed to the level of quality we had seen in the listed films above. I feel like The Punisher is one of the greatest Marvel characters ever. He is a vigilante. Unlike DC's Batman, Frank has no issue taking lives that deserve to be taken. When you think about it he seems to be one of the only comic book heroes with no conscience towards human life. In this attempt to reboot this particular franchise we see how Frank becomes The Punisher. Frank is a government agent working undercover when he is close to closing the case he has been on. When it's all over he thought he concealed his identity, but when the son of a major crime lord, Howard Saint (Travolta) is killed during the raid, Castle now has a price on his head. Reunited with his family, he is hunted down by Saint's men and no one survives. They kill his wife, son, parents....everyone except him. He manages to live only to become The Punisher. He will not stop until Saint and his organization is burned to the ground. He doesn't want them arrested, he wants them dead. He figures if he gets killed in the process it doesn't matter. He has already lost everything that matters. In his healing process he meets a few individuals that seem useless to him, but they prove themselves invaluable. The two of these new friends that you will recognize are played by Rebecca Romijn and Ben Foster. At one point Foster is tortured for info that would lead to Frank, but he gives them nothing even though several of his piercings were removed improperly and without his permission. I don't want to give anything away, but the way Frank plays Howard against his best friend Quinton is very clever. The Punisher is one of the all time great comic book characters and this films depicts him very well in my opinion. With that said, I would like to see Marvel take a lot of time and effort into a new Punisher series that is dark, gritty, and rated R for violence. 

NBM rates The Punisher - Awesome

The Incredible Hulk

With the brilliant Thor review yesterday and Captain America just around the corner, along with Hawkeye, another Wolverine film and The Avengers coming, I will begin Marvel week yesterday. When The Incredible Hulk got re-booted after the unfathomable Ang Lee version of '03, I was skeptical. This is why I did not watch it for a long time. Finally I decided that it was time. I was really stoked about Ed Norton as Bruce Banner, but at the same time, I really like Eric Bana and we all know how that one went. What I really got behind was the supporting cast. Liv Tyler, William Hurt, and Tim Roth. When Bruce Banner aka The Hulk (Norton) surfaces in South America after being in hiding for a while. Hiding? Oh yeah, from the U S government. We all know he was an experiment gone wrong. He doesn't want to be a caged animal, but they feel he is a harm to himself and everyone around him. I liked how quickly we get to see The Hulk. That's why we watch after all. When he comes back to the States for a possible cure, he is hunted and attacked, which makes him angry. At this point it goes from pretty good to freakin awesome. Especially after he kicks Tim Roth - Supercop - into a mature tree breaking his body. He is given the new serum which turns him into an adversary to both Hulk and his former employer. Even though Hulk seems to be a brainless being when in that form, his new nemesis Abomination is pure evil. He will purposely destroy anyone who gets in his way to take down Hulk. Their Battle Royale (with cheese?) is insanely well done and by the end we learn a little something about Hulk. I also love the forethought on Marvel's part to begin tying together these films for the 2012 release of The Avengers. Tony Stark shows up at the end of the credits in this film and that was 2008. Forethought. I was a little disappointed Norton couldn't come to an agreement to retain his role, but I Do Love Mark Ruffalo, so I am very interested in the direction it will take us.

NBM rate The Incredible Hulk - Awesome

Thor

Where to begin. First off, let me offer my personal thank you to all No Bad Movie readers.  This is "Superman's" first guest write and what is more ironic than a DC comic "super hero" writing to you about a Marvel comic "god".  You heard me right, a god, god of thunder that is.  Thor has finally been introduced and added to the collection of Marvel superheros and man I tell you he doesn't disappoint.  The story actually has some good substance to it.  There is a bit of fantasy with the storyline taking place partially in Asgard.  1 of 8 realms where the god's reside and watch over and protect our race and our planet.  This fantasy line of the story merges up well with reality bringing the character to "Life".  The myth and the magic fade away as Thor walks amongst the mortal for a good part of his time on earth.  His trip to earth, or should I say banishment, seems to bring the qualities of a king or hero out of him thus making him a perfect candidate for future crime fighting good.  As with all reviews, you cannot reveal the story for it will ruin the experience.  But I tell you this,  up until Friday afternoon at 12:30pm  I would have to say my favorite superhero movie was Ironman 1 but Thor now stands side by side with Tony Stark.   So beyond telling you what the movie is about, the action, drama, comedy, love interest are all worth the trip to the theater. It will be a BluRay purchase on a future Tuesday evening upon it's release and I will never look at a hammer as a mere tool ever again!

Few points of interest and easter eggs to look for:  Stay till the very end of the rolling credits.  Little Avenger cameo by Mr. Fury.  Potential Avenger story line introduced???? Also I didn't think anyone noticed it but me but there is another Avenger cameo during the film.  Look at the sharpshooter about half way through the film.  Recognize him? He has an unaccredited role but with a little digging you can find the tie.  Also look for the Stan the Man cameo. Stan Lee is sort of my Where's Waldo in Marvel films.  Also Chris Hemsworth is my new man crush.  That dude was ripped for this film!

NBM concurs with Superman's rating of Thor - Phenomenal

I, Jester, saw Thor today and when it was over I could not believe how much I enjoyed it. Way better than I had anticipated.

Thank You For Smoking

The MOD squad as they refer to themselves in the film are Bobby Jay (Koechner), Polly (Maria Bello) and Nick (Eckhart). MOD stands for Merchants of Death. They have self appointed their little group of three this because of the organizations they represent. Bobby Jay represents the Firearms community, while Polly is on Alcohol duty, but Nick is with Big Tobacco. They convene once a week to discuss how many people their products have killed and some of the sob stories that made the news in the recent week. Lawsuits that have been filed and the weakness of the the Human emotion that is greed. Money solves everything. At least that is what Nick Naylor believes. These 3 not only represent these organizations, but speak solely on their behalf when a problem arises. They invite the press or leave them, depending on the angle they can use. They use quick tactics, and shady doings to keep people quiet. Not shady so much, but as I said before Greed. They use greed against the person giving them issues at the time. Sacks of money is enough for anyone to redact their story / lawsuit / and bad mouthing of anything. Am I wrong? Nick loves his job and he doesn't care that he is called a murderer to his face. He simply states that people can make their own choices and all the warnings and info are up front and easy to read. He can spin anything to sound any way he needs it to. He can get people to change their mind within 30 minutes of meeting him. He has saved the Tobacco industry bazillions of dollars with his silver tongue. Nothing is a problem because he does a good job of keeping his work life and personal life separate. He has a son with his ex wife that he spends every other weekend with. His son is 13 or so and smart enough to realize what is going on. As much as Nick tries to keep his son in the dark about what he does, eventually the questions begin. Nick may lie bend the truth for his paycheck, but he will never tell his son a lie or a half truth. He still believes in honesty. His son feels he needs more so he asks to go along to one of the people suing them. It happens to be the man who was the Marlboro Man from the 70's. He is played by Sam Elliot - Perfect choice, and he is dying from years of product use. Nick takes his son into the situation and shows him how it is done, but something changes for Nick. Maybe he feels he has sold the BS for so long he can't even tell when he is "Normal Nick" or "Working Nick". He begins to dissect his entire life and it turns from a comedy about the death of billions of people into a dark drama about Nick's choices and what lies ahead. Will he continue on this path or try and change for the benefit of his son? I remember the first time I watched this. I was absolutely floored. I was laughing at how convincing he would be in his arguments, but at the same time you kind of think "Hmm, that actually makes sense." It is very up front with numbers and figures being spouted off every other scene about the number of lives lost, but it never feels like an "agenda movie." The brilliant Ivan Reitman's son, Jason, directs this superb film, and it's not a film I will purposely put in from time to time, but if I come across it on a movie channel I will watch at least 20 minutes of it, if not more. The speeches and dialogue are something to cherish. Writing this clever does not come along very often, so I say embrace it for what it is. A really great movie....and Robert Duvall is also in it.

NBM rates Thank You For Smoking - Phenomenal

(500) Days of Summer

I have had this film on my DVR for months and just couldn't find the time to watch it. This is surprising because I love independent film, I love JGL, and I love Zooey. The story intrigued me. It follows Tom (Gordon Levitt) on his quest for love. He meets Summer and feels like she is the one. This is where it goes from ordinary Rom-Com to anything but. Summer doesn't believe in "True Love" or Soul mates. She thinks relationships are BS, but she doesn't mind having friends. The direction will amaze you in every facet. It's a movie that should be easy to follow along, but the way it is cut makes it a little more complex. Not so much story wise, but timeline wise. If you aren't glued to the screen you will not know if the movie is in the present or the past. The story follows Tom and Summer through a period of 500 days. It must shift back and forth 30 times throughout. It starts off with Tom in misery somewhere in the 230 day range then it shifts to day 1. Day 1 is not the beginning of their relationship, but the actual day he sees her for the first time. It actually takes Tom a while to nerve up and actually hang out with her. At which point he finds out from her that relationships are pointless path ways to pain and mess. He thinks she is wrong and intends to prove it. It is chronological to a point. Every flashback is a more recent day than before and every flash forward is a further day into the ultimate 500 days. I cannot say enough good things about this movie. I don't have a whole lot to preach about it. I will say it is heartfelt and acted to perfection, and just another reason why JGL is in my Top 5 favorite actors right now. The jokes are really well done, but the dialogue is brilliant. It is an easy watch that will have you enthralled with the opening narrative, and having you rolling with every team meeting Tom has to attend at his job where he writes greeting cards. Watch this movie. It appealed to me, but more importantly my wife couldn't concentrate on her book, had to put it down, and sat there in peace for the duration. It really does have mass appeal. There is not an individual group that would not appreciate this film for what it delivers.

NBM rates (500) Days of Summer - Phenomenal Bordering on Cinematic Art.

Buy It

Water for Elephants

Where to begin? Hmmm, I was Team Edward, but now I may be team Jacob.....Janikowski that is. So, I know how Star Power works and sometimes it doesn't work as it is supposed to. Robert Pattinson will put butts in the seats. Mostly under age butts, but nonetheless. Here is the timeline of the female agenda with Mr. Pattinson. "Oh, Edward is in a new movie." What is Water for Elephants? I better do some research. Huh, It's actually a book. So, what's the book about? I gotta buy that book. Read, Read, Read...Done. I have to see this film. That is pretty accurate from what I remember, and I have a memory like an Elephant. OOOOH, pretty good tie in. I love movies, and my wife doesn't "Need" to see many movies like I do, but this was one she wasn't going to miss out on. I obliged her not knowing much of the premise except that it revolved around a circus and the the creepiest folk ever...Carnies..Small hands. Basically it starts out how I love movies to begin. It begins with an old man who tells a story of his life. His life which essentially takes place during the year 1931. It is a great era for a film. The Depression is really depressing to watch, but the film does a superb job of making it light to a point. They are able to do this because the circus is no ordinary place. When Jacob (Pattinson) is about to take, and ace, his final exam at Cornell something horrible happens and derails him from his dreams of being a veterinarian he doesn't know what to do. He jumps a train to escape and that happens to be the Benzini circus train. He takes a job shoveling poo, but has nowhere else to go. It doesn't take him long to become the personal Benzini Vet - Which Ringling Bros. does not have. For him this is good, for August (Christolph Waltz) not so much. August runs a tight ship based on fear. If you do not conform to his ways he will "red light" you. Jacob quickly realizes this, but has a reason to stay. August's wife, Marlena (Witherspoon). She sees something in Jacob that she has never seen in her husband. Compassion. They grow a platonic relationship during their travels, but it could quickly become more, and with August's temperament that would not be good. When Benzini circus is close to failure they acquire the biggest attraction in the country. An elephant named Rosie. Rosie does several things. She shows what August is really capable of, shows Marlena what Jacob is all about., and shows Jacob he can do anything. It's a great story with a very traumatic ending. The last 20 minutes I had chills. CHILLS DAMMIT. I also must say that as great as Pattinson is as someone other than a vampire, Waltz once again steals the show. He is brilliant. One last thing, I watched this at The Premier 6 Theatre which made it way better. Why? It is set in 1931 and this theater still uses 35mm film instead of digital. Because of this, we could hear the loud rattle of the projector cycling through 24 frames per second. It was the perfect pairing of film and nostalgia. Sometimes I have a rating in mind when I start writing and it changes as I remember back to what I saw. I am not sure it is Phenomenal, but I was going to rate it Awesome. So...

NBM rates Water for Elephants - Awesonomenal

The Tourist

I haven't necessarily been putting off watching this film, but I know it did take me a while to get it done. I was actually eager to see it. It had nothing to do with the trailers or press I had seen. It had a lot to do with what the "critics" were saying about it, and how they ripped it to pieces. I tried to recall this week when the last time was that I did not like something Jolie had done. It proved difficult. I actually don't even have an example. Then I did the same test with Depp. Even harder to find one. Both of these superb actors really pick and choose the roles they want to do. They don't need to work and they don't need the money, so the pickiness is why their films are generally between really good and great. I figured "how bad could it be?" Well, I will tell you, IT WAS AWFUL!!!!. Wait, wait, wait, I kid. This is not that type of website. We love films. I actually really enjoyed this film. It draws us in rather quickly, and keeps us guessing the entire time. It starts out in France, but quickly shifts to Venice. The film is very little action, loads of intrigue and drama, with just a perfect splash of that quirky Depp comedy. It starts out with a surveillance team following Elise (Jolie). We don't know why or what they want from her, but that quickly comes to light. Her husband, which no one has ever seen or even knows what he looks like. Apparently he stole from some bad men, but that's only a sub plot. The movie is called the Tourist for a reason. I'm guessing it follows a tourist of some kind. Ding. An American tourist named Frank (Depp). He is involved because Elise is sent word by her husband to pick a random guy out that looks enough like him to throw off the scent. The Man with One Red Shoe anyone? She picks out Frank and starts a charade unbeknownst to him. All of the sudden he is being chased and she is being chased and he is confused to say the least. They want a man named Alexander, not Frank. They do think he is Alexander. It is full of twists and turns and a couple of really good actors show up that I did not expect. Paul Bettany who is going to be in Priest this summer along with Dark City's Rufus Sewell. It did have us guessing what was going to happen and who the actual Alexander was. I like movies that get you guessing, but aren't so complicated you forget what you've been trying to figure out. It was done very well and the ending was pretty good too. 

NBM rates The Tourist - Awesome

Demolition Man

So after viewing the first half of this film the other night for the first time in some years, it reaffirmed to me that I was right. It is awesome. And look at the up and comers it produced. Sandra Bullock and Benjamin Bratt for instance. This movie single handedly catapulted them into stardom. Its funny to me how the film portrays the legal system. If you are guilty and punished, then you are frozen for length of the sentence. I don't like it. If you are frozen for 50 years, you basically got a non aging 50 year refreshing nap. It kind of negates the point of punishment. I mean, unless you have horrible aging side effects like Mel Gibson in "Forever Young" then its just stupid. If you were thawed 20 years later and you aged that 20 years in a matter of a week then dies of old age, it would actually be considered cruel and unusual and then I could get behind it. This story follows a super cop, John Spartan (Stallone)(Sylvester not Frank) who is a great cop in the 20th century. His nemesis is Simon Phoenix (Snipes). After years of trying to get him, he finally does. Unfortunately several hostages are accidentally blown up in the process and not on does Phoenix gets "iced" but so does Spartan. When Phoenix is accidentally paroled early, he goes on a rampage. Good for him, bad for everyone else. You see, crime is all but non existent in this new century. The police force cannot subdue him, or even slow him down, so they must now thaw the old school Spartan to apprehend him once again. The future cracks me up. Citations for swearing, no physical contact, you wipe your butt with sea shells, and Taco Bell is the premier restaurant to eat at. Denis Leary is in charge of the underground community of thieves and beggars. These petty people are the real reason Phoenix was thawed out. Its a great action movie that depicts a future I would not want to be a part of. No guns or sex or cursing? You can keep it. I do love this film. We were talking about the transition from cheesy action movies to the point when they got more real and seriously good. Demolition Man may have been one of the last great campy action films. I will research it further and give a more definite answer at a later time.


NBM rates Demolition Man - Awesonomenal

The Virginity Hit

This should be short and sweet. A-Bomb and myself saw a trailer for this "mocumentary" in front of Piranha. It is filmed 100% in the first person documentary format. I wasn't sure if it would be any good, or if it was just made to look good in the minutes we saw. Well, turns out, it's pretty damn good. About 23 minutes into it, I posed the question, Is it real? I was absolutely drawn into it as a real piece of work. We actually googled it and found out it was in fact, Fiction. The credits would later reveal it was produced by the brilliant duo behind such awesome films as Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and The Other Guys. That's right. Adam McKay and Will Ferrell. They saw the potential in this off beat comedy that will eventually turn it into a cult phenomenon. It follows 4 friends on the long journey to lose their virginity. With the first of the four losing his they smoke up a bong and call it the "Virginity Hit". They agree that this particular bong will only be used on four different occasions. Each time following the loss of one of the groups virginity. It takes 9 months for the first 3 to lose theirs, but the 4th, Matt, is having trouble. He has been with a girl, that is way out of his league by the way, for 2 years. To this point nothing has happened. The date is set, but disaster strikes. He finds out that she cheated on him. This devastates, but sends his friends into over drive to get him laid. The attempts are unsuccessful to say the least. Matt has become a bit of an Internet sensation because the entire experience/ "documentary" is posted as segments or scenes from Matt's life. Either way, with brilliantly real dialogue and very quotable quotes it is an extremely funny movie to watch. We enjoyed it quite a bit and I would recommend it to anyone who likes being tricked.

NBM rates The Virginity Hit - Phenomenal

Changeling

"Changeling" : It is typically described as being the offspring of a fairy, troll, elf or other legendary creature that has been secretly left in the place of a human child.

Why, oh why, did I wait so long to watch this film? I know why. It is 2 hours and 22 minutes long and although I don't mind Angelina Jolie, but she is no where near the top of my "must" list. Someone that is on the top of my "must" is Clint Eastwood who produced and directed this fine film and it's fine actors. All I knew of it was that Christine Collins' (Jolie) son was missing and the LAPD found him, but she attested that the boy returned to her was not her son at all. Intriguing yes, but two and half hours worth concerned me. The film begins around March 10, 1928 which is the day that Christine Collins comes home from work and her 9 year old son, Walter is no where to be found. She files her reports, but not much comes from it. Then one day about 5 months later the Captain of the LAPD arrives at her place of work to inform her that Walter has been found and is on a train right now headed home. Ecstatic, she leaves work to go to the train station where she is greeted by dozens of reporters ready to get the reunion story. When She and Captain JJ Jones (Burn Notice's Jeffrey Donovan) see the boy, Christine is left aghast. This is not my son, she claims. Capt. Jones thinks that she just may not recognize him because of the stress level or the 5 month absence. Either way she does not want this child. He needs to save face, so he gets her to agree to take the pictures, take the boy home for a trial run, and let it work itself out. This is a time when Cops actually had the respect of the people. The LAPD could not be wrong. They were held on such a pedestal, that if they were wrong they weren't going to admit it. The were also under much scrutiny for being a corrupt organization not worth a plug nickel. I don't know what a "Plug nickel" is, but I'm guessing it ain't worth a whole lot. It was a great era for the police. They regarded almost as celebrities, much like the film LA Confidential, they had to keep everyone happy at any cost. When Christine begins to confirm her beliefs about this boy, no one will listen. They hear what she is saying, but they don't care for any of it. She is constantly accusing the LAPD for not doing they job, and covering up the case. Then she makes a huge mistake. She is counselled by Reverend Gustav Briegleb (Malkovich), who has been preaching against the department every week on his personal radio show, to make a report to the papers. At this point she is making more trouble than she is worth, so the tables get turned on her. She is asked to come to the station where she is asked again if he is her son. No, she says again, and then she is placed in a psycho mental hospital for being detached and a liar who doesn't want to take care of her son any longer. At this hospital not much is different. They will only release her if she signs a document stating he is her son. What a strange era. This turns out to be the biggest mistake the Department could make. This puts the good Reverend into over drive on his mission to bring the entire LAPD to justice. At this point the film goes from dramatic thriller to courtroom drama. I will not disclose why she is released from the psycho ward because this is the turn in the story that I do not want to spoil for anyone. This movie is absolutely brilliant, and I was upset I did not watch it sooner. It's just another notch on Eastwood's belt as the supreme film maker. I would also like to add that I do believe this was the best I have ever seen Jolie act. She is marvelous and it should be appreciated by everyone when they watch it. It was also hard for me to see "Michael Westin" be a prick for 2 hours. He is so likable and nice on Burn Notice. He also did a fantastic job as the do no wrong Police Captain JJ Jones. I also don't remember hearing that this was based on a true story. True crime really gets my attention faster than almost anything.

NBM rates Changeling - Phenomenal