Snow White and the Huntsman

I have been excited about this movie for some time now. The more and more footage they released, the more I was angsty for June 1st to arrive as I am very limited as to how often I can actually get to the movies these days. Well today was the day, and though it was not "The Greatest Film of the Year" it was rather enjoyable for me. I do understand why it has not fared well on RT leaving it at an even split between likers and haters. It is an origin story that must deliver enough history to not feel choppy or empty, all the while it cannot be overly long. Let's face it, we are not prepared to see Lord of the Rings run time when it comes to Snow White. At 2 hours 7 minutes, it does a great job of getting that first 18 years out of the way of the story at hand. Most of the opening is narrated by The Huntsman (Hemsworth), to fill us all in with as few visuals and screen time as possible so we can have a clear picture of everyone's motives leading into the hunt. The trailers are so fast for this film, all of us should be well aware of what it is about. We are merely going to be wowed by visuals and to see how it all pans out. The Evil Queen (Theron) has the ability to stay young forever by sucking the youth out of young people. When she is informed that one particular girl will pass her in the fairest department ultimately leading to her demise, she will not let this happen. Especially with the alternative she is given. Kill Snow White and become immortal. Not a tough decision. This is when the movie begins to get good. Then we have about an hour and of running and chasing. The dark forest is the best part of the film and I wish they could've stayed there longer to experience the horror within. It had several shout outs to other films in my opinion. The first is Neverending Story (ATREYU!!!!), then it begins to feel like the fire swamp from The Princess Bride, and lastly Batman Begins. That one may throw you, but that refers to the hallucinogen effect some of the plants emit. The Troll (pictured above) was the coolest, but the story must progress. Onward and upward. I am going to talk about why the film was great as opposed to discussing any plot points. I pretty much gave the whole plot to you already. All movies today are special effects heavy, and in my opinion if done poorly, it can ruin a movie. The effects in SWATHuntsman are some of the best I have ever seen, if not the absolute best. It relies a lot on fantasy and creatures that do not exist and to make them as real as they were is a feat. I could not believe the flawlessness of it all, and that takes us to the Dwarfs. You know from the Disney classic "Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs." The funny thing here is none of the actor portraying them are actually little people. I guess Willow is out of a job. He was the go to guy when small stature was necessary, but CG put him out of a job. Anyway, of the 7 I recognized 5, and I was pleasantly surprised. Nick Frost (Ed from Shaun of the Dead), Ian McShane (Deadwood), Tobey Jones (I don't know why I know him), Bob Hoskins (Roger Rabbit), and Ray Winstone (Indy Jones/Crystal Skull) all did a superb job. They had 2 roles. Little warriors and comic relief, although the comedy was few and far between, they were a rather enjoyable bunch. There is not a lot I can say about this film that is negative. It told a story. It twisted what we grew up with and added lots of flair. I do feel I built it up in my head to much, there is no way it could live up, but it sure came close. The battles were awesome, and the fights were brilliant, and Charlize was sexy scary. Great role for her. I am not a Kristen Stewart fan, but I made it through 2 hours without throwing up in my lap, so I guess she was bearable, and of course Thor was his usual self...only drunker. If you had desire to see this before today, then you will enjoy it. If you are on the fence, then I believe it is a crap shoot for you. If you have no desire to see it, then don't. It doesn't deliver any mind blowing features everyone must witness now in case the world ends tomorrow.


NBM rates Snow White and the Huntsman - Awesonomenal
Phenomenal for acting and CG
Awesome for story. We do know 100% of the plot before the opening credits even roll. 

Melancholia

This is one review I do not want to write. I don't know how to tell you what I felt about it, while at the same time discouraging any of you from watching it. There are rarely films that I watch that I feel have absolutely no point. Melancholia is one of those films. However, I enjoyed it somewhat. Maybe it's my mentality toward the norm. The status quo if you will. I love to like things that everyone else doesn't get or plain out hate. It makes me feel superior in a way to know that I get "it" whatever that may be. The title however is a perfect match for my final emotion when the credits ran. I expected this great artsy film about a woman who had infinite knowledge about the Universe and all living things. Not the case. The trailer made it seem like Justine (Dunst) was a medium of sorts. She was somehow connected to the universe and maybe she had an outlook beyond the standard human knowledge. Turns out she may or may not. It actually doesn't let us know anything about her, except for the fact that she is completely Bat S#!+ crazy. We are never given an inside view of why everyone pussyfoots around her. No one wants to upset her, or she may have an incident. The first 35 minutes of the film is exactly as it should be. No frills, one camera, dialog driven, indie film that makes me glad I am watching it. The through a turn of events, a lack of explanation, and a cauldron of misconception it kind of derails. I will say this. If you have any inkling to see Melancholia, watch the opening 8 minutes which is filled with random images that move at an alarmingly slow motion, while Beethoven's 9th plays in the background. That song is already dramatic and depressing, but when paired with the images, it almost suicidal. If you get past that, you will enjoy the next half hour. After that, it's a crap shoot. Melancholia actually is referring to a planet on a course to glide by Earth in a wonderment of beauty never before seen. However, there may be a slight chance it hits Earth destroying all life. The brightest spot in the film is Kiefer Sutherland's character. He is brilliant in his angriness. John Hurt is also brilliant as Justine's Father who may or may not be insane. It is very strange, and I don't know anyone who would like it. Slightly enjoy it maybe, but like it is unlikely. I also feel if any of my readers went out and rented it, they would blame me solely for their current state of unhappiness.


NBM rates Melancholia - Good

The Avengers

To say that The Avengers has been anticipated for a while now is under selling it. Think about it. We first heard about "The Avengers Initiative" in 2007 after the credits in Iron Man. That's half a decade ago, and worth the wait. Way to not rush through Marvel. Patience is key when dealing with this many parameters. At 2 hours 22 minutes, I believe it is the longest Marvel film to date, and I did not want it to end. The reason I feel it worked so well at that run time is the fact we need little to no character development. We know the players through years of individual releases from Thor to Captain America and Iron Man we get all the info we need, so the story can get right down to it. I had heard there some comedy, no doubt from group smart ass Tony Stark, but a lot of times the entire theater was rolling. It really is 30% pure comedy. We all know the gist of the film from hours of promotion, TV ads, internet clips, Interviews, Spoilers, and common knowledge of the series, but it is so much fun to see it on the BIG screen. I wanna see it again already. There is really not a lot to say about it, except it is perfect in every way. As a film it is like Captain America in the sense that it was birthed out of Love to be the absolute best it could be. When Loki (Thor's evil brother) comes to Earth to take over, Nick Fury takes issue with this. This is when The Avengers are brought together for the first time. The Avengers looks good on paper as a resort to thwart terrorism, but too many egos is nothing but a bad combination. The whole first half of the film is them getting to know each other and realizing they don't like each other. Captain America is technically a senior citizen, so those jokes are slow pitches, and some of the team get along, but like High School, there will always be divided groups. Tony and Banner get along because they speak the same language. Tech and Science. Thor feels he is above everyone, demigod and all. Hawkeye and Black Widow are on the same page, but it is still a disaster. Loki is a force not of this world and other than Thor, no one knows how to deal with him. He is bringing an alien army, and he feels The Avengers are no match, but little does he know. The ultimate battle between the two worlds is very reminiscent of Transformers 3, but it doesn't matter. It is pure awesomeness. The action and direction is top notch and in a CG world, it is very easy to make it look like crap. Not the case here. It is perfect. I also want to discuss the character with the most controversy. Bruce Banner/Hulk. Mark Ruffalo is the third actor to take on Banner, and he is my favorite as the character. I love Ruffalo anyway, but I actually thought Eric Bana was a good cast for the part, unfortunately it was a HORRID script. Then Edward Norton was brilliant, but Ruffalo carries a brooding, dark attitude better than Norton did or could in my opinion. Now on to The Hulk. This is the biggest love it/ hate it character due to the difficulty of portrayal. He is 100% computer generated and until now he never looked real. This is the first Hulk, where we believe he is part of this team. He doesn't look disconnected or cartoony. He is everyone's favorite because of the shear force and destruction he is capable of. SPOILER - When Hulk and Thor beat the crap out of each other, it is AWESOME - Mind Blowing even. I so wanted Hulk to have a lot of screen time and be a viable character, and boy was he. He also provides one of the biggest laughs of the film. When The Avengers finally figure it out, they are somewhat on the same page. Luckily Captain takes over as the only one with military training and strategic battle planning knowledge, and he gets his ducks in a row. I honestly cannot determine what I liked more. The Avengers beating the snot out of each other at the beginning of the film, or fighting the enemy at the end. It has to be the end, because we love to see the good guys win. The last thing I will say is to PAY ATTENTION to the greatest cross movie reference in this film. Listen closely when Iron Man is gonna fly Hawkeye to the skyline. Literally LMAO at the joke. Oh ya and stay through the credits....all the way through. Trust me, It is a brilliantly, silently, hilarious 60 seconds that you will appreciate.


NBM Rates The Avengers - A Cinematic Work of Art

The Cabin in the Woods

ZIP. This is the amount of will I had to watch this up until Late Thursday night when I first watched the trailer. I read a few things and saw where RT had it at a staggering 93%, then I felt more than intrigue. I will say this film combines several genre's, but Horror still wins out as the majority genre. I had heard Comedy, Thriller, Twists, and more. What I was expecting, Tucker and Dale/ SOTD, was not necessarily the case. It did have remnants of those films, along with The Truman Show (and I'm pretty sure the writers throw that reference right in our face), but it really had a very predictable ending...but I will say I was still guessing as to how it would end right up until the actual end. It really started out very surprising to me. First off, I had no idea Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins would play an intricate part in the comedy aspect of this film. Those two are always welcome in any film. Then we have Thor, Chris Hemsworth, in a surprising role coming off of Thor and also Huntsman. He gets to be the goofy Jock, and he does very well at it. Cabin is 2 movies. The first half is a completely different film from the second half. I think I would have liked it better than I did if it could have continued the first half theme through the credits, but I will say the u turn it takes, also is fun to watch. Bloody as all, but fun. This is proving difficult to write without spoilers, but I will do my best. When these 5 friends go on vaca to The Cabin, they expect nothing more than a quiet weekend, but then they accidentally open pandora's box. Now they must fight for their lives and figure out what is going on. To be able to watch someone's head get ripped off one minute, then laugh out laugh at a quip the next is just good writing. It does this the whole movie. Extreme violence to extreme comedy in back to back scenes. Very well done in that aspect. Cabin also is not short on tributes to other films of the genre. I saw a similarity to The Ring, and I am 99% sure the Underworld Lycan is on screen, but I must say the unicorn is my favorite part. No lie, Unicorn!! We are given the ultimate goal of the film in a descriptive speech from everyone's Hollywood Sci-Fi Queen (Not gonna Spoil it), and then the film ends. I' am not sure I agree with the RT score on this. I cannot seem to figure out why critics LOVE some films and HATE others, when essentially they are the same. I did enjoy it, and it was very well written. I will end this by saying I HATE Horror films and Slasher films, but this is not either. This was good even though it had those aspects much of the time. 
I will watch it again once on video to see if I missed any of the jokes. 
NBM rates The Cabin in the Woods - Awesome

Goon

Once again I was privileged to see a movie from the comfort of my own home, vodka in hand, while everyone else who wants to see it must go to an alcohol free theater. I win. Besides that, Magnet Production company does something that is super brilliant. They release their films On Demand 1 month prior to a nation wide release, and then 2 days before that release it is free to view for one night only on HDNET. I have been able to watch some great films and pass along the word that they are definitely worth the time. Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil was the first movie I saw early and as brilliant as it was, Goon is just as good and may be a tad bit better all around. Goon is based on a true story. Very loosely based,  but nonetheless. It is the story of Doug Glatt (Sean William Scott). He is a nobody in a family of doctors. He is dumb, and he knows it. What he doesn't know is how valuable he could be to a third rate amateur league, local hockey team. When he is presented with 2 options while watching a game, he chooses to demolish a player who enters the stands, rather than to get his ass beat. The film is extremely well written, with the exception that some of the foul language is completely unnecessary. The dialog stands on its own, and the film uses lots of physical comedy to get the point across, so although I LOVE Jay Baruchel, most of his dialog took away from the film. When Doug gets a call from the Hockey coach to come try out, he figures why not. He can't skate at all, and he has never played hockey, but he can fight. He will become the teams enforcer. An Enforcer is put on the ice to intimidate and take players out of the game by means of a cracked skull or what have you. He spends 90% of his time in the penalty box, which means he is doing his job. The fight scenes are indescribably good. I have seen lots of fight scenes in films, but some of these had me laughing to tears, and it was literally a one punch fight. It gets bloody at times, but it's realistic. The director does a superb job at making this violence funny. Luckily for the viewer, the film also has heart and a really good plot about one man trying to find his place in this world. Doug displays the ultimate amount of loyalty for his team, and his character seems unchangeable. The film is not only about the beginning of Doug's career as an enforcer, but it also revolves around another enforcer's career coming to an end. Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber) is an enforcer on the brink of retirement, but his eye has been caught by the new comer Doug. He respects Doug, and Doug him, but it is inevitable. They must fight. A passing of the torch of sorts that, oddly enough, both are looking forward to. Doug is, because he is gonna prove he fears nothing, and Ross is, because no one has ever NOT been afraid of him. It is a sweet movie, which is weird to say about this subject matter. I was blown away at how good Goon really turned out to be. The perfect match of physical action, verbal comedy, and physical comedy - Goon is a Win, Win, Win.

NBM rates Goon Phenomenal

The Hunger Games

It's like The Truman Show meets Surviving the Game and they have a baby, and those babies must eliminate each other in front of a live audience a la The Running Man. This film has everything and I do mean everything. Action, romance, Intense moments, kids killing kids for sport, and engineered elements. I hope to not SPOILER anything, but I am assuming everyone has read the book or at least paid 10% of their attention to one percent of all the TV and Magazine ads that have littered our line of sight for the past 9 months. If so, you know the  basic premise behind The Hunger Games.  I did not read the books. Many of you know it is due to the fact that I can't won't read. I also feel that makes me the largest hypocrite known to man. I Love Love Love to write and expect people to read my words and enjoy them for the entertainment they are here to supply, however, if you were to ask me read anything longer than a magazine article I may very well de-friend you. The world Suzanne Collins created is very similar to the many world's of Tim Burton. The colors, the outfits, the strangeness. It is all so beautifully creepy, and Director Gary Ross should be extremely proud of himself. He gave us a movie with such a content that it is quite appalling, yet he did it in such a classy way. I commend him. His direction overall is superb. The story and the acting on the other hand is indescribable. Let me take a minute to describe it. Imagine the raw emotion when faced with the task of kill or be killed, but you are only 12-18 years old. That's tough, but The Hunger Games stand for so much to the world. Each district must choose one male and one female to represent the district. 12 in all = 24 participants and the last one standing will be wealthy the rest of their life with The Fame and Glory that accompany the title of Hunger Games Champion. My biggest issue of the rules is, if the other person from your district, who you probably know, are the last ones left, you would have to kill that person. That's a bit rough. At 2 hours 22 minutes, it seemed short to me. It flowed very well, and you may think that 23 deaths on that short amount of time would be hard to pull off, just wait till the opening "mad dash" if you will. Our hero is Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and she is the next Bella Swan if you catch my drift. The Hunger Games is a trilogy and it made 155 million this weekend alone. Lucky for us, she can display a range of emotion, and be very warm one minute, and very jaded the next. I expect she portrayed 19 emotions in this film which is a full 18 more than Kristen Stewart can at any given moment. Katniss has a very unique skill set, but she doesn't know how to play the game. Haymitch is there to help her learn the rules and strategies and he is played brilliantly by the always appreciated Woody Harrelson. Essentially that is all it is. A Game. Much like TV's Survivor, the audience will have favorites and least favorites, and this can play heavily in one's favor. It is an intense ride that I didn't want to end. I wanted it to go right into books 2 and 3. This is one of the best films I have ever seen, and I have seen a great many. I think it rightly deserves every last iota of praise it receives and am giddily anticipating the next film which is due November 2013. Anyone who can handle 12 year olds playing real life Gladiator, then don't miss this film.
**On a side note, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the 65 year old woman leaving the theater explaining the entire film to her husband as if he wasn't beside her the whole time which he was. I didn't feel it was hard to follow, but I may just be a CINE-SAVANT.
NBM rates The Hunger Games - A Work of Cinematic Art, and that was not even a question when it got over.

Alien Autopsy

When a trusted movie lover recommended a film I had never heard of, I was intrigued. So much so, It sat on my dresser for 3 weeks. Wah Wah. Then the glorious day came where I decided to start it, only to be left with the conclusion that I must own a copy to pass on to everyone I know who loves to be entertained. Alien Autopsy is based on the true story of what may have been one of the most elaborate hoaxes the world has ever known...or was it? This film is part documentary, part comedy, completely absurd, but because it is primarily a British film, you know the absurdity is going to be very well received. It follows two men on the accidental discovery of a lifetime. Ray Santilli is a street smart video pirating salesman in 1995, when his business comes to an abrupt end. His best mate, some may say frenemy, is Gary. Gary is a legal aid who is all about work and responsibility. These two don't see eye to eye ever, but Gary always goes along. When Ray's idea of flying to Cleveland, Ohio to buy Elvis memorabilia is his newest get rich quick scheme, Gary is very skeptical. Then Ray is offered the biggest golden goose egg he has ever seen. Literally, it is a film. A documented alien autopsy film from 1947 Roswell. He is shown the film one time then drops 30 grand on it. 30 grand he got from a shady investor who likes to kill people who disappoint him. This is where is gets awesome and funny. After watching only the one time, no one believes his story of what he watched. He then has a small viewing party who are ultimately disappointed when the film he watched has been eating itself through an oxidation of sorts. Now Ray is in a pickle. He now has to come up with a solution to save everyone's, mostly his, life. He has seen the footage and remembers it vividly, so the brightest idea in the room is to recreate it. Bill Pullman plays the documentarian taking in their story 10 years after the fact, and the story telling is so brilliant. Flashbacks to present day and so on. It's all done so well and this little indie flick made quite an impression on me, and it is hilarious. Harry Dean Stanton only has a couple of scenes but he is awesome as he always is. I can't wait to loan this out to whoever wants it, to see their reaction as well. Will Ray be able to pass off his reproduction to the general public? This is the million dollar question and the answer is well worth the wait. 
NBM rates Alien Autopsy - Phenomenal

21 Jump Street

I was more skeptical about this film than any other in recent memory. To re-boot a TV show into a comedy/action film starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill was just the tip of the iceberg for me. Then the first trailer came out and I was left almost horrified. Then another trailer and my demeanor started a long u-turn, that with enough read articles and watched TV spots, along with the totally unexpected R rating, it landed my butt in the theater on opening day. It also didn't hurt how well this film is being reviewed. This is the type of film critics love to hate, yet they just love it. I can almost guarantee all critics had a single turning point during the film, much like my journey. It would be when Parks and Rec's Ron Swanson uses his 3 minutes of screen time to deliver a great speech about rehashing ideas due to the impoverished think tank of today's generation. Up until that point every second of the film I had just watched, I and you, had already seen in every trailer. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. Actually it was quite refreshing and this is why. In the first 15 minutes basically witness all the trailer footage, so anything after that is just icing on the cake. I was excited about seeing a film where they don't give away all the good parts in 2.5 minute TV spots. It also helped with the flow. Being a buddy cop comedy, we didn't need to spend a lot of time watching these goofs train and build a relationship up from nothing. It is the classic tale of two guys who bring way different attributes to the table to form a supercop...sort of. When Jenko (Tatum) and Schmidt (Hill) are out in the undercover program called "Jump Street", they had no idea what they were in for. They get to go back to high school to uncover a drug ring. The story line is very strong and the jokes are equally strong. Plus the writing is brilliant. Here we have a guy who was awesome at High School, and another guy, well, not so much. What a difference 7 years can make.Much like Bill Madison, High School is not what it used to be and this vexes our heroes. One is all for the changes and the other is just confused about everything. We do get to see Holly Robinson Peete pretty early on, and though I am not versed with the TV show, It was pretty easy to detect the other cameos. The dialog just sarcastically suggested these "characters" had been here before. Now, I know the big question is, was Johnny Depp in it? That I cannot divulge. Not because I don't want to spoil the fun for any of you, but because I have no Earthly clue who the Hell that is. This film is cliche to the 10th degree, but that does not matter at all. The directors, in my opinion, must be HUGE Edgar Wright fans. He did Shaun of the Dead and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. They put together a great film with good visuals and some out of the ordinary visual effects that played a lot like a video game. HMMMM? Now, these buffoons must infiltrate some drug dealers and find the supplier before this new drug gets beyond the high school walls. It turns into a harsh lesson of everyone involved taking a step back and seeing themselves for how they are or were in their lives. Like I said, Cliche. I would definitely watch this again, and if a Blu Ray with loads of extras and alternate ending and what not comes out, I may just buy it. It is already set up for a sequel, which sight unseen, I would watch. And one last thing, this film further solidifies my current man crush on Tatum. he is a funny guy who can also be dramatic and pack the action. 2012 is the year of Channing. I have only seen 5 movies in the theater this year and he has been in 3 of them. Now, on to GI JOE.
NBM rates 21 Jump Street - A Very Strong Phenomenal

the BIG news!!!!!

I hate 3D, but I will jump at the chance to watch this in the theater again. YAAAAAAAAA

the BIG news here 

The Matrix

This film changed everything, and it came out 13 years ago. It will be forever used as comparison for any film that may come out. Whether it's story, special effects, originality, or what have you. Neo lives in The Matrix. A computer program that you feel is the real world. It's a complicated story that must be watched several times to really get it. The first time you watch it, you may miss things because you will be awestruck. He has been plucked by Morpheus and his band of freedom fighters to help with the cause. The cause being to take their world back from the machines. Yes, you may be thinking Skynet right now, and that is not far off. What the Wachowski Brothers give us with The Matrix though is much, much more in depth than that. The world they created is amazing. Plus they revolutionized special effects using several hundred cameras in a single shot to slow down time in the most realistic fashion to date. 1999's date, not today's date. Every film owes a debt to The Matrix. It broke a new ground in film making that is kind of a catch 22, if you will. It gave us the realm of really good digital effects, which in turn gave movie makers an easy way to make movies 100% that way, which takes away from a lot of films. The number one turn off for me is bad CG. We live in a CG Era now, but with the first Matrix, it is the perfect blend of stunt work, wires, slow motion capture, and CG. The Wachowski's should not have done 2 things following this film. 1- They should have considered not making the sequels; and 2- With the sequels they should have recreated the magic combination from the first film. They too relies 100% on digital effects and at times it looked like a video game, because essentially that what they made. This film also has some of the greatest action scenes in the history of film. The Hotel Lobby is the quintessential scene to watch when Surround Sound shopping. Take the Lobby scene and watch through the Morpheus escape with all the rounds falling from the chopper and you will know which sound system to buy. I must have seen this film 50 times, and when propositioned to watch the other day, it was a no brainer. Still as good as it was the first time. I'm sure the majority of you have seen this, as it is somewhat aged, but if you have not, do yourself a favor and go buy a copy of it today.


NBM rates The Matrix - A Cinematic Work of Art