Trance

Trance may very well be the best art heist film I have ever seen. Better than The Thomas Crown Affair, and....... Well, let's face it, there may not be that many "art heist" films. However, as far as films focused on stealing high priced merchandise, this one still has to be near the top of the list. It not only succeeds as a heist film, but also fall into my personal favorite genre, "Thriller". Throughout the film, we as the audience are never quite sure who are actually telling the truth? Who stole what? Who is playing who, and ultimately, who will win? James McAvoy plays an art museum curator guy who knows the protocol when a robbery may occur. When he is knocked senseless during a robbery and loses his memory, he knows he saved the day, or did he... At this point the plot twists and turns endlessly for the duration. When the bad guys kidnap the good guy to get information that his brain can't remember is when it gets out of hand. He goes to a therapist to "unlock" suppressed memories in order to find the painting the film goes all over the place. I have watched Trance a few times and every time it is enjoyable. Vincent Cassel is brilliant as the villain, but Rosario Dawson playing the psychiatrist and the sexy love interest is the reason to watch this movie...if you are a man that is. As I said, Trance is one of the most clever, twisted films that caught me completely of guard when I first watched it. Most enjoyable and extremely smart. Enjoy it for what it is and relish in the fact that you are watching something semi original.

NBM rates Trance 4 out 5 stars

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

My desire to see this film declined every single time a new promo or trailer or clip was released. It looked serious and awesome then it began to look cheesy and silly and just plain stupid. However, I have kids who wanted to see it, and I had nothing else to do, so here we go. I cannot remember the last time I left the theater feeling so conflicted on how I felt about what I had just seen. I enjoyed the story, the look of the turtles, the action involving the turtles, and the comedy. I did not enjoy Shredder or Splinter. I will say Megan Fox was very lovely. She did fantastic as April O'Neil. The tempo of the film was its strong suit. It didn't take a half hour to meet the turtles. The action sequences were timed well with the comedic scenes, and the origin of the turtles flashback scenes I actually enjoyed. The dynamic of the turtles was mostly the same that I remember from the old days with the exception of Donatello. In this version he was a tech genius which helps a lot with their missions. Leo is still the leader and though Johnny Knoxville didn't steal the show, he did a good job with that character. Mikey provided 100% of the comedy and I really enjoyed his dialogue and jokes. He cracked us up loads of times. However, they absolutely nailed Raphael as the brooding second fiddle who is generally pissed off. He was awesome and his attitude worked well with the general lightheartedness of his 3 brothers. He had the look and provided the most ass whoopings. As good as the CG was for the turtles, it was equally awful for Splinter. I found myself loathing scenes when he was on screen. It looked like they copy and pasted him from the original movie in 1990. As for Shredder, I liked what they did with the character in the beginning, but what ruined him for me was his ridiculous suit of armor....and lack of cape. He had way too much going on, and it angered me when he was fighting. However, in my personal opinion  the bad does not outweigh the good. I had a fun time watching the turtles back on the big screen, seeing my kids sit completely still and laughing at Michelangelo's antics while quoting the jokes immediately after, so all in all, it's a decent movie experience.

NBM rates TMNT Awesome which relates to 3/5

A Good Day to Die Hard

Of the 5 Die Hard films, this one is easily my least favorite. Will I buy it on DVD? Yes. I have a series to complete. However, as much as everyone hated the 4th installment, at least it was smart. This one has very little going for it. It does have John McClane though, and that is always good enough for me. This is the Epitome of a popcorn movie. Thin plot, not to hard to follow, and it is a film solely based on the action. Action does not fill the gaps between extremely smart nuances and plot points, but instead it serves as the fruit of the entire film. What the film does well, it actually does great...and that makes sense. For example, Bruce Willis is getting older, and that comes into quite a few punch lines. Brilliant. The car chase scene through the streets of Russia, though very unbelievable, is awesome and the fact it took over 30 days to film it, makes me love it even more. Why was a NY city cop in Russia? To find his son who is on trial for murder. Ok, makes sense. The plot unfolds from here in just a few minutes and then we get to see McClane and son kick ass on an international level like McClane's do. This way, that way, then like a flash in the pan, it's all wrapped up in a nice neat little package. As far as the whole film goes, it is rather enjoyable. With that said, if it had been any other film, say, a film not directed related to such a prominent franchise, I may have respected it more. It did fall a little flat for me being the return of John McClane and all, but still worth a watch and worth buying to complete the series. Any other movie wouldn't get as graceful a rating, but John McClane alone boosts this film right to the middle of the road.

NBM rates A Good Day to Die Hard - Awesome

Savages

A film that I was DYING to see, quickly turned into an "eh" moment, that then transformed into little desire. I should have gone with my first instinct. While not perfect by any means, it was FUN. A great development of character by a man I tend to hate. Oliver Stone has never made a great film. You start film dropping and I will argue to the death. I do not enjoy his work, and while this film had Stone nuances, it was actually great. To be honest, it is filled with great performances, but Aaron Johnson stole the show. He was even better than Taylor Kitsch, who I tend to like, even though 90% of his films have been considered flops. Savages follows 2 drug dealers on the top of their profession. They sell the best product, and they move tons of it. When they are "Offered" a deal to go into a distributorship partnership, it seems to good to be true. Hmmm, that usually means it is. When the dealing boys deny their Mexican buyers and "spit" on the them to boot. This gets very, very ugly for these guys. Then it gets worse. What is worse than the threat of death? Threatening to kill their girlfriend. That's right. Singular, as in they have the same Girlfriend? Exactly. O (Blake Lively) is their joint girlfriend. Weird, right? Either way, the dynamic delivered works really well. When threats come down, it is better to be on the same page with your cohorts than be divided. She is the catalyst that gives both these Men a no holds barred, balls to the wall, no care for themselves mentality. Now, I know why people hated it. All anyone has to do is read 5 reviews, and 4 of them will mention the ending. I get it, but the ending did not ruin anything for me. A movie that is truly enjoyable can't really be ruined by the ending. It may be tarnished, but not ruined. The entire film keeps us guessing and it is extremely interesting. I would have liked at least one more really good action scene, but there is very little wrong with this film from beginning to end. Don't let all of the wishy washy, mixed reviews deter you. If you wanna see, by all means, watch it. It is worth it.

NBM rates Savages - Awesome

This Means War

Exactly what I expected? Sure, but with an added bonus. Great chemistry between the two leading men. They are close as brothers in the film and that could be hard to play, since they probably first met on the set. They successfully made me believe they have known each other for 20 years. This is a sign of great actors. I am a Tom Hardy fan, and this is a bit of a different role for him. Of the two men, He is the more sweet, understanding guy and Chris Pine is the playboy, arrogant stud. It was good to see Hardy tone down his brutish glares and intimidating stares. This is the story of two men who fall for the same woman played by Reese Witherspoon. The catch is, she dates both of them. She is unaware they know each other, and they are unaware they are also dating the same woman. They make a pact that the best man wins. Whoever she chooses will win, and the loser will walk away like a real man. It's all so simple. Ya right. Oh ya, and these guys are highly trained, very lethal CIA spies who have unlimited resources to military grade toys. This little nugget allows them to, well, spy. Not only on her, but on each other. It's funny because that is the gist of the rom-com aspect of This Means War, but the film opens with a plot about international terrorism that ends up being a pretty solid sub plot throughout. Reese is always lovely, but the men steal the show. We just wait to see how they will sabotage each other's next date and it goes from very light to pretty extreme. I never had a dull moment watching this film full of cliches. It also boasted one of the funniest scenes ever when Hardy's character is accused of being "too nice". This leads to an all blitz on a paintball game that will leave you laughing. I was more than pleased with this run of the mill comedy, that had great action, cool gadgets, and a superb way to make the love interest make her choice between the two men. Very enjoyable, definitely worth 90 minutes of anyone's day.


NBM rates This Means War - Awesome

The Grey

I knew this would be worth a look because of Liam Neeson. He is more bankable  right now than he has ever been, and I'm not sure when that happened. Batman Begins helped, but I think it was Taken that did it full on. This very much has the feeling of the movie Alive at the beginning. A plane full of people crashes in unfriendly circumstances. Not only is it freezing, but in The Grey, the survivors have to also fend off a blood thirsty pack of wolves. It's one of those films that doesn't have "a lot". Not a lot of effects. Not a lot of story. Not a lot of character back stories. It's a bare bones script about 7 Men fighting to survive in the wilderness they were thrust into against their will. Luckily for the other 6, they have Ottway (Neeson). A survivalist who actually made a living keeping wolves at bay so the men could work unhindered on the Alaskan rig. He knows the breed and he hunted them down, but more than that, he respected them. An unrecognizable Dermot Mulroney is one of the 7, which surprised us. I thought he would have got a little recognition among this cast of no ones. The adventure that takes place isn't a long one in terms of run time. The Men face obstacles and terrain, but they know it will be the wolves that get them, if they are destined to be got, if you will. An intense film to say the least. Very well done, and Neeson delivers as he always does. If you wanted to see it, but haven't, I'd say the trailers delivered pretty accurately as to what is in store for the viewer.


NBM rates The Grey - Awesome

Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides

I don't know why it took me so long to see this. It was kind of a mental enigma in which my brain told me one thing, but did not take its own advice. I was excited to see a 4th film in a franchise that has faltered in recent films. Mostly because it was a new story. The writers had wrapped up the trilogy involving Jack Sparrow, Borbosa, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann and their twisted story. This film was going to be a completely unrelated tale continuing Jack Sparrow's travels and that prospect sounded fun. All the while, I feared it would be as mind numbingly awful as the critics said it would be and I will say it took a while to develop into, well, anything. The first 25 minutes is drivel. Nothing happens except the standard "Jack Sparrow escaping dire situations using brain powers and logic his character's speech and mannerisms would never suggest he possesses, while blaring the POTC score we have all come to love." Literally, we were like, what is the point? Luckily Depp delivers once again and makes it all tolerable while the waiting game continues for us, the audience. Once it does pick up, I still don't feel it was as strong as any of its predecessors. It just seemed thrown together. It did still have the wonderful fight scenes and choreography we have come to expect from the franchise, but the jokes were fewer. Depp delivers the majority of the moments that get us to exclaim a verbal HAHA, but that only happens 3 to 4 times. Keith Richards shows back up which I didn't expect, but essential with the addition of a few new characters it really is just another Pirates film, left open ended for a 5th installment. Black Beard (Ian McShane) and Angelica (Penelope Cruz) join Sparrow on the search for the fountain of youth. With a few new surprises along the way (Mermaids were cool) the film definitely wraps up better than it began and when it was over it was erased from my DVR never to be watched again. What On Stranger Tides lacked, compared to the previous films, are those moments great films have that we can watch over and over and over again. I have seen the other 3 films numerous times, but I don't think I'll watch this one again. It doesn't have that hook to get me to stop channel surfing to watch it for 20 or 30 minutes. That is what disappointed me the most, but overall it is very enjoyable and only because Depp is perfect at that character. Also I would have LOVED to see a cameo from Orlando Bloom as Will Turner as he is now Captain of Davy Jones' ship after the 3rd film. That would have been a welcomed call back for me.


NBM rates Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides - Awesome

Contraband

Yet another enjoyable time killer popcorn movie. You kind of have to know what to expect with movies released in the months before May, and when they hit the rental shelves 4 months later, we just hope it will be good entertainment for the hard earned dollar we spend on it. I did not know a lot about this film, but what I did know made it an easy decision to watch. The cast alone. Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Giovanni Ribisi, and Ben Foster. We get a lot of info quickly about Chris' (Wahlberg) past. This  type of plot development lends itself to a movie like this, so they can fill their time with action and plots, rather than back story. Chris was a smuggler. Actually, he was the best, but he put that behind him. He is married with kids and a legitimate business. No need to fret on the past. His brother in law however is not that smart and when he dumps his load, much like Han Solo did to Jabba the Hut, things turn very badly. Carbonite doesn't exist yet, so death is the consequence for not delivery the goods to the dealer. Unfortunately in an ass backwards world of thuggery and drugs, the debt he owes will not die with him. It is absorbed by next of kin which is Chris and his family. Ribisi plays said Dealer and with his high pitched voice, greased back hair, grisley beard, and neck tattoos he is scary as hell, but the twist is what brings it full circle. I liked the twist, because it made it way more intense. Chris must go on a tanker to Panama and smuggler enough Contraband back into the states to cover the debt. What's the saying? anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. This turns an hour long film into an hour and forty very enjoyable minutes. Chris must protect his family at all costs, but also not get caught, which would land him in jail for life. Very fun, and sometimes extremely intense, I recommend this to any fans of Wahlberg's catalog of films. This falls in line with the style of movies he does, so enjoy.

NBM rates Contraband - Awesome

The Change-Up

Oh Dave and Mitch. To say this story isn't cliche would be a bold face lie. It's been done a dozen times and none better than the original Freaky Friday with a young Jodie Foster. The closest other one would have to be the Judge/Savage vehicle Vice Versa. What has not been done to date in the body switching genre is a graphic hard R rated version featuring two grown ass men. These two men, Dave (Bateman) and Mitch (Reynolds) could not be more different, which is why the switching works for this particular film. If each of these guys were married and both of them had kids, then the switch would basically amount to your everyday wife swap for a few days. However with these two, that couldn't be further from the scenario we are blessed with. Mitch, or Uncle Mitch to Dave's kids is a single, unemployed actor who lives in Atlanta. An actor in Atlanta? Ya, that will get you work. Dave is a work-a-holic attorney trying to make partner at his firm after putting in 18 months on a merger proposal for his company. The switch could not happen at a worst time for either of these guys. What do we really expect from this type of vulgar movie? Apparently critics were let down. Were they really expecting an Oscar worthy film filled with dick jokes? I got exactly what I expected. The only thing that was a little off for me was the nudity, or lack there of. Nudity was present, it just was not the type of nudity we would expect from a guy like Mitch. When they switch, they have to be each other in every aspect of life, so the world does not implode. This means Mitch may have to sleep with Dave's wife, and Dave may have to cheat on his wife, though it's not even his body, he still feels it to be wrong. Dave really has the most to lose. His loser best friend now must understand law and marriage and raising kids...all of which he has never even considered to think about. The attitude changes of these two guys is really what sold it to me. To watch Dave go from over worker and sweet to a total D-Bag is great and of course Mitch goes the opposite. The jokes are good, sometimes great and I have never laughed so hard at babies being computer altered to do funny stuff. It is totally unrealistic and that is what we hoped for. It really shows what beneath the surface of both men in another cliche way, but there is nothing wrong with that. Cliche  can be good and The Change-Up offers up a new way to deliver an old story...with raunch, nudity, diarrhea, an abundance of F-Bombs, and Samurai swords. If you want to watch a comedy with very little thought, you will enjoy it. If you have kids, you will really enjoy it, and if you like Bateman and Reynolds, you can't lose. Rotten Tomatoes dogged it with a 24%. I think it should have at least been double that hitting 50% which is where I rate it. Right in the middle.

NBM rates The Change-Up - Awesome

Bad Teacher

I was very close to watching this in the theater, as I think I may be the only actual fan of Cameron Diaz. People tend to like her, but for some reason, I appreciate her. I don't know why. Can't explain it. After the first wave of awful reviews came pouring in, I felt it would be wise to save my $9, and spend $1 four months later. I will call that a good choice. With that being said, I had a certain grade in my head before viewing it based on what I read, and only one review rang true. That particular review was more of a statement than anything.  "Jason Segal should have had more lines and screen time." I agree with that. He is so good, and this was a secondary role for him, and he killed it. Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) is engaged to be married which in turn will end her teaching career, one short school year after it began. When she is dumped by her wealthy Mother in Law Fiance', she has no choice but to return to teaching. This is where we see how little of a crap she gives about anyone. I guess the one good thing about her is she is not out to hurt anyone, she just is not out to help anyone either. She is selfish, and she knows it. I think the classroom scenes were some of the funniest, considering she only showed movies about school, every single day. Example: Stand and Deliver, Lean on Me, and Dangerous Minds. Elizabeth is not giving up. She has a new plan. Find another rich man who wants to take care of her. The only problem in her mind are her boobs. She feels they are too small to attract men in general, so she decides to get a boob job. Only problem is the $$$. This becomes her new mission, and what I find funny is the overly nonchalant conversations people have with her about her tits...Co-workers both men and women. Quickly the job at hand becomes irrelevant, when she meets Scott (Timberlake). Scott is a sub who is heir to what she longs for. This becomes her new focus, and Timberlake sells the do-gooder character superbly. He is fantastic as always. The big problem people had with Bad Teacher was that it wasn't raunchy enough. It didn't push the perverse envelope. All I have to say is that every comedy does not have to be The Hangover. This is a well executed comedy that runs smoothly. It may not have the laughs of Horrible Bosses or Bridesmaids, and it may not be shocking like The Hangover, but it does a good job being what It is, and not trying too hard to imitate those other films. I liked the humor, the foul mouth, even the unexpected breast shot (Not Diaz's). I laughed evenly throughout, and some things really got me, Like the dodgeball scene pictured above.

NBM rates Bad Teacher - Awesome

Machine Gun Preacher

So, I knew very little about Sam Childers. More shocking than that, I knew very little about the film about his quest. I pride myself on being up to date with most new films, especially when such A-listers like Gerard Butler and Michelle Monaghan (So Hot) are attached. My movie going buddy was going to watch this because he has literally seen everything else that is out. I was gonna watch Moneyball or 50/50, but when MGP it was over there were no regrets. For a film that topped at 23% on RT, I had my doubts. What I did notice was that Gerard was a producer, and when that happens, it seems to be important to that person. He did pour himself into being Sam Childers, which looked like it would be hard. Here's the back story for those of you who are as clueless as I was. Sam was not a good guy. The film starts with his release from prison, for which we are not informed why he was detained, but real soon we get the picture that this Biker/Gang member/drunk/heroin junky is not a nice dude. Upon his release, his wife Lynn (Monaghan) his wife pisses him off real quick. She quit her stripper job, found Jesus, and stopped drinking and smoking. Sam has a big issue with all the new changes and we see what type of person he really is. Some bad stuff happens to Sam over the next few weeks and he gives Jesus a chance as well. He cleans up, starts his own construction company, and essentially he is working hard for his redemption. I gotta say, 35 minutes into the film, I had no idea how they were gonna transition him into Africa. It just seemed like it was not headed that way at all. He was taking care of his family and all was well. Then a guest speaker missionary spoke at their church about the work he was doing in Africa. Sam thought he could help, so he books a trip to go over there and help clean up and rebuild for the people. While over there, he wanted to see Sudan, which was the site of a major civil war. A freedom fighter named Deng took him into the war zone, and I don't think Sam had any inclination how bad it was gonna be. Once back stateside, Sam can't sleep due to what he saw, and how he feels about the situation. Innocent men, women, and children being slaughtered for no reason. He wanted to help, so he decides 2 things. He was gonna build a church across from his house for all the people who were interested in the word of the Lord, but felt outcast by all the other local churches, and 2nd, he was going to the Sudan to build an orphanage for all the people in need of refuge. I never felt Sam was doing this for personal glory or a pat on the back. He was fully invested for those kids. This movie had to be difficult to make. Not only the fact that kids are being killed, but the fact that in my estimates, it spans about 10 years give or take, and that needs to be compressed to a coherent 2 hour film. The story does a few things very well, and some things could have been minimized. The struggle Sam has within is his fight. No one expects him to to continue his work, but it becomes his obsession and he expects everyone to be on his page. Butler had to play several characters in this film. The violent junky. The born again Christian. The obsessed crazy person, and a man looking for redemption who feels like no matter what he does, the Lord could never forgive him. The film takes a long time to develop Sam into the "Machine Gun Preacher", but once it does, it is superb. I do feel they shot not only too many scenes in church, but too long of scenes. I do feel several of the church scenes where Sam is preaching while wearing his heart on his sleeves were very necessary, but a lot of them are not. I have not talked about Donnie, yet he was an integral part of the movie and of Sam's life. Donnie is portrayed by the always brilliant, usually creepy Michael Shannon (Boardwalk Empire's Nelson Van Alden). Like I said, the film does a great job of compressing all those years into a film, and I must say, if it hadn't been a true story, I don't think I would have appreciated it as much. I probably would have thought it was too gory and violent, but being true, I now feel it had to be that way, so we can have some idea what Sam fights for still to this day. The final credits are cool too. It shows pictures of the real Sam doing what he does, and we hear him give a short speech about why he does it. Pretty cool stuff.

NBM rates Machine Gun Preacher - Awesome

Lost in Translation

I don't get it. I don't think anyone does, and if they tell you they do, they are full of it--whatever "it" may be. I think the title can be transposed to both the characters on screen and the audience. Every single person that watches this film will  have a different take on what they have just witnessed. I do get why it received raves while out, and why the Oscars were kind to it. It is a fun movie to watch as it feels almost like an episode of Seinfeld in the fact that not much happens. If I took a trip to Tokyo, it could very well be exactly like this movie. There's none of those "That wouldn't happen" moments, and it all feels extremely real. Bill "F%&*ing" Murray (I know that's not his real name) plays Bob Harris. Bob is an American actor that we perceive is past his prime in the states, yet he still huge in Japan. A whisky company has hired him for a commercial, to which he is taken care of by said company. He sees it as sort of a getaway from reality. A vacation to possibly realize what he wants from the rest of his life. While in the hotel bar, he meets Charlotte (Scarlett). She is a semi permanent resident of Tokyo with her Rock star producing husband played by Giovanni Ribisi. We don't see him except in one scene which sucks because he is awesome, but in this particular film, his character is pretty much pointless, so I get it. He is always out wining and dining clients, and Charlotte is always alone. Her and Bob hit it off, and we are unsure if she sees him as a Father figure, or a confidant, or a love interest. We know she is unhappy in her marriage, but we are uncertain of her intentions. The same goes with Bob. How he sees this girl 40 years his junior is also unclear. What we get from this film is a fun couple of days with two people who don't know what they want. It is fun, as we see them go to dinner, to parties, to a karaoke bar. Nothing spectacular, but it does give us a sense that these two needed each other. Where it goes from here, I will not say. You will just have to sit and enjoy this little film, that at times can be slow, and is mostly pointless...or is it.


**PS. What does Bob whisper to Charlotte? It's been driving me nuts.


NBM rates Lost in Translation - Awesome

Everything Must Go

Once again Will Ferrell takes a turn for the dramatic, and I for one, welcome it with open arms and a big heart. This is a lot darker than is previous dramatic role in Stranger Than Fiction. I know he is a great actor, he just does comedy so well, that it what he sticks to. When Nick Halsey (Ferrell) loses his job of 17 +- years, he is at a loss. When he gets home, only to see all of belongings on the front lawn, he is at a loss. When he can't get into his house, because the locks have been changed, he is at a loss. And when his wife tells him she is done, he is just pissed. Since he has nowhere to go, and he does not want his stuff stolen, he camps out for the night with a case of PBR. That's Pabst Blue Ribbon beer for those of you wondering how the Pro Bull Riding league got involved. What the trailers failed to show was that Nick is an alcoholic. It just made it seem like he is down on his luck, and it is not his fault. Well, it is his fault, and instead of cleaning himself up, he decides he is gonna go down with the ship that is his sad life. It's like Leaving Las Vegas, but cheekier, plus he doesn't want to drink himself to death. He just wants to be in a constant state of drunkeness. When the city sends the cops out to his place for living in his yard, he is more than dismayed. He is told he can hold a yard sale for no more than 7 days, so that is what he does. He meets the unlikeliest of friends. An 11 year old named Kenny. Kenny is played by The Notorious BIG's son, and he is fantastic. He needs Nick as much as Nick needs him. Basically we get to see a man hit rock bottom, and try and climb up that hill that is life. I enjoyed this dramatic film about alcoholism, but more than that, I pondered how anyone could be an alcoholic dependent on Pabst. I mean, Money wise it makes sense, but that sucks for the taste buds. This was a good role for Ferrell and his star is very bright. I hope he keeps doing small roles like this that let him shine.

NBM rate Everything Must Go - Awesome

Gnomeo & Juliet

Ok, so I have been saying, "Disney is dead" all year long and though I still stand behind that, Tangled is pretty awesome. However, Gnomeo & Juliet is just solid story telling and originality... to a degree. It is also a Touchstone Pictures film. Maybe I give Disney to much flack. Considering that every film company now does animated movies, perhaps they are just outgunned. I will give a Tangled review this week as well, but today it's all about the Gnomes. Gnomes are funny, and to see them as thinking people just makes it funnier. It kind of reminded me of the first time I saw Toy Story back in 1995. The story of Gnomeo and Juliet, which we all know is actually Romeo and Juliet is just hilarious. What I didn't know about this film was the characters were all based on the classic Shakespeare tragedy. The Gnomes call each other The Reds or The Blues. They tend to their masters gardens all day, and they are only separated from each other by a single privacy fence. They go about their day when the masters leave for the day. The Masters are aptly names Montague and Capulet, and though brief, their exchanges are absolutely perfect. Pay attention, because they are never the focus and we never see their faces, but the dialogue is perfect. Also, you all know I love movies that reference movies, and this one does just that. It is usually cartoons that do tend to do it and Gnomeo & Juliet does it well. Braveheart, that's all I'm saying. I enjoyed this film as I watched it with my wife and then again the next day with my kids. I liked it more than they did, but they are only 2, and don't know what is good and what is food. I do recommend this film for kids and adults. It has those adult humor jokes that makes these films more enjoyable for us, yet kids are none the wiser of what has been said. It is a new take on a very old play, and Shakespeare himself shows up....HILARIOUS...but you'll have to watch it to get any more info than that.

NBM rates Gnomeo & Juliet - Awesome

30 Minutes or Less

I heard mixed reviews about this film, but that did not deter me from paying to see it anyway. It just looked too funny to miss, and though some naysayers said all the funny parts were in the trailers, I had to see for myself, and I will say nay to these naysayers. There were plenty of funny parts never before seen by the American Television watcher. The funny stuff was present, but the acting was brilliant, but more than those two aspects were the references. Many of you know, one of my favorite things in cinema are the abundance of movie references some films use. This shows me that the characters are like me. I can have entire conversations based on movie quotes, or what I have learned from the movies. Nick (Eisenberg) and Chet (Ansari) are Best friends who are leading very different lives. Nick is a pizza delivery boy who likes to get high, and Chet has turned substitute teaching into a career. We get a very clear picture of their friendship early, but within minutes of that, they have a falling out. This is huge with story development. We all should know the basic premise from what we have seen. Nick is forced to rob a bank by two goons, Dwayne (McBride) and Travis (Swordsman), who strap a home made explosive device to him. What we are unclear about is the why. The "why" is very funny and involves Dwayne's daddy who is played by the always appreciated Fred Ward. Dwayne and Travis are a conundrum to this movie, because I don't know how they were written in. Were they supposed to be the funniest comedy, or were they supposed to be more serious with a lot of idiocy? Either way, I will tell you that as they were funny in an over the top idiotic way. However, Nick and Chet - Chet mostly - were the funnier of the duo's. However again, the funniest person in the entire film was very shocking to me. It was Chango, who was played to comedy perfection by Michael Pen`a, who is more known for his serious roles in "Crash" and "Shooter". He is hilarious as the Hispanic gangster/hitman. The opening scene where we see how stressful is can be to deliver a pizza in 30 minutes or less is superbly shot. Nick is hauling ass in his POS mustang. The only redeeming quality of the car is the 5.0 engine it sports. He has total disregard for traffic laws, and its fun to watch. Apparently his high octane job lend hand to his getaway driving skills later on. With a 10 hour time limit to get Dwayne and Travis the money they have asked for, he must take drastic measures. Chet reluctantly agrees to help him and hilarity ensues. It has the funniest bank robbery of all time in film - even funnier than Trapped in Paradise. Among the references we get to enjoy are "Point Break", "John McClane", and the video game "Contra" - which without giving anything away, I will say that was one of the funniest lines of the entire film. It really is a rush of a film. At only 83 minutes long, it never slows down, and I am glad it was that short. It left out nothing, but also didn't need anymore film to enhance it. I enjoyed this film as I though I would. It did not exceed my expectations, but it also did not fall short of them. I will watch it again when releases to video, as should all of you.

NBM rates 30 Minutes or Less - A Solid Awesome

Hall Pass

I was skeptical about this comedy. I was worried it would be rubbish. The premise alone is horrible, but the execution and script were great. It follows two guys mostly. Rick (Wilson) and Fred (Sudeikis), and there buddies come along for the ride. Rick has been married 19 years and has 3 kids. Fred has been married a while also, but has no kids. These guys do nothing but harp on the fact that if they were not married, they would get so much tail it wouldn't even be funny. They constantly gawk at lovely women, right in front of their wives. The wives, played by Christina Applegate and Jenna Fischer are pretty good sports about, because they know their men aren't going anywhere. They feel the "Look, don't touch" policy has kept their men sane. When enough is enough, Maggie (Fischer) gives her hubby a "Hall Pass". A week without being married. She feels if he gets it out of his system, then they can move on. She does this under the impression that he is all talk, and to much of a pussy to do what he says. She takes the kids and leaves him alone for 7 days of bachelor freedom. When Fred hears of this he is flabbergasted. This is the greatest feat in marriage history as far as he is concerned. He presses his wife to give him the same and she denies him, until an event occurs that leaves her embarrassed. Now these boys have a week to do what they want and under the guidelines who they want. The wives are a little nervous, but take it in stride. The comedy begins when these forty year old men go looking for action at Applebees no less. Their buddies are all there to support them in every way, and chaos ensues. In my opinion, they did it all wrong. The odds of landing a 20 year old is about 1%, but the odds of hitting up an older lady, say 45, increases your odds to 50%, maybe even higher. I'm sure you can all guess the life lesson we are to learn while watching these two inept people try and relive the glory days, but with sharp wit, classic jokes, and brilliant visuals, we are left with a really solid movie. It also has one of these funniest scenes of all time involving the male genitalia. You will not be disgusted...maybe a little jealous at first, but then with the punchline to this particular scene comes, you will end up feeling better about yourself than when the scene began. It is a Farrelly Brothers return to triumph, and I will never forget these two new terms I heard in this film. Faux Job and Fake Chow. You will laugh and laugh at this movie, and you will repeat the things you saw and heard throughout it.

NBM rates Hall Pass - Awesome

**Be sure to read down the page for a Movie face off.**

The Great Buck Howard

This caught my attention last week on HBO, and I will state that is is rare for me, The Jester, to never have heard of a film. No matter how small, indie, or low budget it may be. I pride myself on accepting and remembering everything I hear or see. The hard part for me on this one is the cast. Usually names like Hanks (Tom or Colin), Malkovich, and Zahn would grab my attention in any headline. Then add the beauty of Emily Blunt and we have ourselves a reason to not move for 90 minutes. This is the story of Troy Gable as he steps into the road manager position for an anal retentive entertainer/ mentalist named Buck Howard. The Great Buck Howard to be exact. That is his moniker and try not to forget it. Buck is eccentric to say the least. If it is not done his way, then you best not be around when he notices. To be his road manager is the most stressful job Troy has ever had, and he was going to law school. He needed something new, and this thing just happened. He gets to travel around the country, making sure the star is happy. Not to easy. He works for a hack. At least that is most people's opinion of him. As I was watching this, I found myself pondering about this man. Buck Howard? Who the hell is that? I wanna say the film is based in 2006 or thereabout. There is no way I would not know or have heard of Buck Howard. Actually I found out this supposed "bio-pic" is based on a man by the name of The Amazing Kreskin. Troy puts up with all Buck's crap, travels non stop with him, and tries not to screw up too badly. Even this is better than being miserable in law school. The highlight of the film comes early on when Colin's real life Father, Tom Hanks, shows up as Troy's Father. Great scene. Just as Troy is reassessing his decision, they get to Cincinnati, and things change. He meets a publicist form NYC named Valerie (Blunt) they pal around for the weekend as she promotes Buck and they hit it off. At this point, any regrets he may have had were gone, because of this moment. We see Buck's performance several times in the film, and Malkovich is wonderful as always. I think more than anything that this is just a fun, sometimes uncomfortable film to watch any day of the week. It boils down to one man's struggle to figure out his life, and then there is Troy.

NBM rates The Great Buck Howard - Awesome

Rango

This is a brilliant "adult" PG rated cartoon. It is essentially an animated western, that will make you happy you are watching it while you watch it. This movie could have had a completely different life at the box office had we known what we were getting into. It was a cartoon rated PG, but in my opinion, kids probably hate and or do not understand it. It is very adult. Rango (Depp) is a very odd lizard. We see him early on as a pet with a vivid imagination and a penchant for theater. When he is thrust into the wild, he must survive, which is quite difficult, yet hilarious. The film turns from funny [Fear and Loathing reference] to sort of dark and serious. Our hero is a bright green lizard in a bright Hawaiian shirt, but the town he ends up in is very old west. Lots of drab, dirty, bleak colors and attitudes. The town of Dirt is set up like the old west, and it is awesome. He is immediately targeted by the town folks as being different, but when approached and intimidated, his flair for acting kicks in. He makes up an identity on the spot with back story and all. He becomes the intimidator, and it is funny. Quickly Rango is who the town looks for, for help. They are running dry of water in the middle of the desert. Water is their currency, and without it, everyone will die. He is appointed sheriff and through all his BS, he promises to get water to the town, but ends up screwing up things worse. Unfortunately, he is so wrapped up in his lies, he begins to believe it. The last half of the movie is filled with outstanding action, gunfights, and humor. I especially loved the Clint Eastwood tribute. You will see it as plain as day. The voice even sounds very similar to that of Eastwood, but is actually voiced by the brilliant Timothy Olyphant. Throughout, it does get a bit trippy, due to the over abundance of the desert sun and no water, but mostly it is just a clever written movie that was not given the proper promotion. I will say, I do not have 6, 7, or 8 year olds, but when I do, I don't think they will be ready for it. It says "Hell" at least 7 times, it is very dark, and a little mature for children, plus it does not have the quality of storytelling that keeps today's kids interested. It is a lot of plot, and though the visuals are fun for adults, kids would be bored. I do think I understand why it was fussed over by parents when released. As an adult, I fully understood all the references and didn't mind the language. It was the first animated "Western" I have ever seen, and I loved it. Depp is perfect as the quirky, insecure lizard, and with supporting roles from Bill Nighy (Rattlesnake Jake), Stephen Root (Doc), and Ned Beatty (Mayor) it really felt right. Certain scenes don't even feel animated, and that's why it is great. I do recommend this film for anyone over 10, but for the adults out there, you will really enjoy it.

NBM rates Rango - Awesome

Cedar Rapids

I had no reason not to watch this film. Based on cast alone, I am surprised it took me this long. It is a movie that was not highly promoted like Hangover II, Horrible Bosses, or The Change Up was/have been. To be honest I had no idea the real premise between the jokes of Cedar Rapids. I do love Ed Helms, and to me John C. Reilly may be one of the funniest men in Hollywood right now. This is the story of small town boy goes off to the big city. Tim Lippe (Helms) has never been out of his tiny town ever. He sells insurance and to say he is naive is an understatement. When he is sent to the annual convention for Insurance salesmen in Cedar Rapids, he is a bit nervous. His first plane ride, first hotel room, first rental car. It is culture shock for him, and he is advised to stay away from one person in particular. Dean Ziegler (Reilly), and wouldn't you guess it, he happens to be his roommate. Reilly absolutely steals every scene he is in. Tim gets to meet new people, but the real treat is what he is able to give back to these people in terms of perspective. He may be small time, but he has a big heart, and that seems to be contagious. I will say that it was not the funniest movie ever, but the overall humor factor is really high. Even in scenes that weren't suppose to be hilarious were pretty hilarious. What Tim signed up for was not we he got at all. A weekend of deception, debauchery, drugs, and booze. It really is a good script, and rating it R saved it's life. If it had not been R, it would have been boring. There's just something funny about dirty language that does not work if substituted with phrases like "Gosh darn", "flippin", or "crab nuggets". The overall message is a good one, but we do enjoy watching Tim go from a never seen anything small town jimbo, to having done and seen things in a single weekend that most people don't do their entire lives. Additionally, there were more actors that just add to the appeal. Anne Heche as the hot lady of the convention, to Sigourney Weaver as the love interest of Tim from back home. Stephen Root is Tim's boss, and Isiah Whitlock Jr, who I have never seen before, had great comedic timing which adds to the film. He is the third roommate if you are wondering. I could have said "black guy", but that just seems like a dumb way to tell people who he was.

NBM rates Cedar Rapids - Awesome and John C. Reilly Phenomenal

World's Greatest Dad

Lance Clayton (Robin Williams) is anything but the greatest dad in any realm, let alone our world. He is the epitome of a Father who has no freakin clue what his son is dealing with, or what to do about life. His life, his son's life....the whole thing seems to be a cluster F to him and he is drowning [figuratively speaking.] Lance is a somewhat normal middle age high school teacher who has to deal with his passion about to axed by budget cuts. His poetry class is all he seems to care about, but it may be taken from him. That is not his biggest issue though. His son, Kyle, is an abnormal 16 year old boy. He does constantly think about sex, but not normal sex. He is always trying to freak out his one and only friend. He succeeds most of the time, but his relationship with his Father is something else entirely. If my kids ever spoke to me the way Kyle speaks to Lance, I may have to beat them. Not only a lack of respect, but utter profanity and things one person should never say to another....ever. When Lance feels his tide is turning at one aspect - dating - he feels good. He goes on a date with a fellow teacher and drags his son along, who actually acts humanly. When Lance drops Kyle at home in order to take his date, Claire, home tragedy strikes. **SPOILER ALERT**  Lance comes home to find his son has passed in an extremely strange fashion. When Lance, grief stricken by this turn of events, decides to change his son's fate. Not literally, but more like contextually. He ends up changing his life and everyone around him as well. He ends up accidentally creating a legacy for his outcast son, and he does not know where to draw the line. He did it to make himself feel better about what has happened, but soon feels the effects of the choices he has made It is a depressing movie to watch, but at the same time, you kind of feel good about the choices Lance has made. All the people he helps and what not. Two things intrigued me about this film. Robin Williams to begin with. A brilliant actor who is always enjoyable in his darker roles. And 2, it was written and directed by the fantastic Bobcat Goldthwait. The comedian has a great dark mind and it shows. When I heard him interviewed about this film, he made sure that we knew this was not a feel good movie, and most definitely was not The Real World's Greatest Dad.


NBM rated World's Greatest Dad - Awesome